Broken & Hopeful

05/31/2026

05/29/2026

God is teaching me these days about giving thanks in the “before.” What I mean by that is before the answer comes, the change happens and the provision is delivered. We love giving thanks “after” and there’s nothing wrong with that. But when we are able to praise Him before we see any evidence of His work, and simply because we know Him and trust His love for us, this is a different thing entirely. I think there’s also a humility in acknowledging we have no idea how He’s going to work in the situation, and if we are even going to like it. But He is never absent, and is always working in the difficulties to bring us closer to Him.

I see examples of this in Jesus giving thanks as He was dividing the fish and loaves to feed the five thousand. He didn’t see evidence in front of Him of how His Father was going to feed all these people, but He believed that’s what He was inviting Him into, and thanked Him in advance. Paul and Silas while in prison in Acts 16 sang praises before they were freed, and really without knowing they would be. They sang first, knowing that their God would take care of them in the best way. Later in Paul’s life, that looked like being in prison for a long time. Why didn’t God provide in the same way? Because He often changes things up, never settling for the same.

There are also times that our expectations are not met, and that’s why we believe He is not showing up. I want to be quick to ask for what He wants me to know in those situations, as it seems that usually He is moving me into change, asking me to put things down or changing my perspective through things that feel hard. These are times I have to come back to what I know and believe—Jesus loves me, He is working through all things for my ultimate good, and relationship with Him is more important than comfort. I can still give thanks before I see the resolution because I trust Him, not because I’m really liking the situation.
Read the rest of the post here: https://www.brokenandhopeful.com/blog/giving-thanks-before-we-receive

05/22/2026

New podcast episode now available! Disappointment: The Lie of God's Expectations is now available wherever you listen to podcasts. I will take a break this summer from podcasting, and will restart with a new series in the fall!

05/20/2026

Last year (repost from 2019), my sister-in-laws convinced me to try to run a 10K for the first time in my life. I was running a bit, but only short distances. Six miles seemed ridiculously far away. I often found myself running too fast in the beginning couple of miles, and then I was totally spent and couldn’t go further. I had to slow myself down so I could run for longer, increasing my endurance.

When race day came, it was a cold, wet November day—nothing like the nice autumn day I pictured when I signed up. We ran in the rain, got pelted by sleet, tried to dodge the ice and finished the race with frozen eyebrows and nosehairs. But we finished. There were a few times during the run that I thought I would never be able to finish, but I also realized that I was at a point that if I didn’t run to the end, I’d still have to walk to the end—there was no shortcut. And if I kept running, I’d get to a warm car and delicious brunch a little faster. The endurance I had learned in training was more essential than I ever thought it would be.

Endurance or perseverance is never something I really desire. It sounds difficult and discouraging. What I want is to get out of the hard thing. But as the verse below says, endurance refines our character which leads us back to hope. That sounds strange to me too—how does endurance end up leading us back to hope? Isn’t hope what makes us endure? No, the endless love of God cascading into our hearts through the Holy Spirit is what provides the strength for patient endurance. But He knows we need hope to keep plugging along, and He is faithful to bring us back to the bright light of hope.

There are a lot of circumstances in my life today in which I’d like to not have to learn patience endurance. I want the relenting, the victory, the freedom now. But I miss that the middle and perseverance learned there is what gives the struggle meaning.
(Read the rest of the post here: https://www.brokenandhopeful.com/blog/2019/05/31/endurance-perseverance)

05/14/2026

Jesus said some pretty crazy things through the Gospels, and most of them didn’t make sense to any of the people listening at the time. One that really catches us off-guard is when He mentions how our ancestors have been taught to love neighbors and hate those who hate you, but He says to love your enemy. That’s nuts! There is nothing in me that wants to love someone who has set themselves against me. And I suppose that’s part of it—I can’t do this on my own.

Most of what Jesus calls us to do is completely impossible on our own. We can’t forgive, we can’t bless those who curse us, we can’t rejoice in trials, we can’t not be afraid. Yet with His Life in ours, He is saying this is possible, and even further, will be true of us as His living water of love gushes out through us to others.

Often when I get mad at someone because they’ve hurt me, or because they’ve hurt someone I love, I want to punish them, reject them and hurt them back. Most of this I suppose I do in my head, not in reality, but the attitude is definitely there.

When I’m blasting them completely for being so hurtful in my mind, it feels like Jesus gently grabs my arm as I go angrily by. It isn’t forceful, and it isn’t demanding. It’s just an invitation—He says, it would be better for you if you’d love them. I usually want to seriously question that logic! But the angrier I get, the more I allow them to control me. I end up worshipping and obsessing on the person who has hurt me, giving them free reign of my brain in ways I would never do physically.

Jesus isn’t saying they were right, or that they didn’t hurt you. In fact, they are called enemies because they are indeed against us. The English word is defined by Merriam-Webster as “a person, group or nation that is actively hostile, antagonistic, or opposed to another, often seeking to cause harm, injury, or downfall.” The Hebrew word means “one who hates.” These are not people I want to love, or even have nice feelings toward. These are people who have set themselves against me, who have attacked me, and who hate me enough to try to hurt me.

(Read the rest of the post here: https://www.brokenandhopeful.com/blog/loving-enemies)

05/07/2026

Some days you wake up and it seems the whole world is on fire. And you haven’t even turned on the news! The financial strain looks as if it will push you into a place you never imagined yourself or your family. The health prognosis gives you pain on top of pain, and no good treatment or way ahead. Or the treatment is more painful than the original problem! The government turmoil speaks of continued dire predictions as well as death, destruction and evil. The family division cuts you up inside into a million little pieces that cry out for restoration.

I heard an interesting quote by a singer called Nightbirde, who passed away recently after a couple of years battling cancer. She said, “Some people will call it ‘blind denial’ but I prefer to call it rebellious hope.” Something about that phrase lights a fire in my soul. We don’t have hope because we are surrounded by it, or because we see the obvious way through the dark tunnel. Instead, it is a sort of rebellion, to stand in the face of whatever crisis or turmoil presents itself, and see past it to hope. It isn’t a denial of the circumstances, but recognizing you have a God bigger than the circumstances.

And really, isn’t that what happened throughout the stories in the Bible? David saw the giant—but he looked past him to see how big his God was. Daniel saw the power of the king who enslaved him and vindictiveness of the people who wanted him dead—but looked past them to see his God shut the mouths of the lions and empower him to live as a lover of God in the middle of idol worship and evil. Hezekiah saw the might of the army coming to destroy his people—but looked past them to lay out his troubles before God and allow Him to deal with them in a way he never expected. Jesus saw the cross before Him and the pain that He would endure in it—but looked past it to you, deciding that relationship with you was worth all of it.
Read the rest of the post here: https://www.brokenandhopeful.com/blog/rebellious-hope