Broken & Hopeful

06/14/2026

06/14/2026

I always find it interesting to read about the battles where one side is overwhelmed by unimaginable odds, and yet chooses not to surrender. Growing up in Texas, the story of the Alamo was one of those we heard a lot. In this tiny mission-turned-fortress, about 200 soldiers fighting for independent Texas held off thousands of Mexican soldiers in order to provide time for the larger army to later defeat the Mexican army at the battle of San Jacinto. The odds were ridiculous, but the Texans did not surrender.

I cannot imagine the fear that must have been going through the hearts of people in these kinds of battles. They know somewhere deep inside that they are completely outnumbered and will most probably die. But they count it worthwhile to stay and fight, hoping that the outcome for those who come later, will be worth the giving of their lives. They choose not to surrender, to fear or to the approaching army.

It stirs my heart to read about these brave people, and it reminds me that I also don’t want to choose to surrender, except to the One who is my victory. I don’t want to surrender to hopelessness that tells me I will never see the change for which I’m praying, or the end of a season of pain. I don’t want to surrender to fear that makes me obsess on the worst case scenarios and attempt to prevent or control outcomes I can’t see a way through. I don’t want to surrender to emotional or physical pain that tells me I will never have healing or relief, draining my life of hope for the future. I don’t want to surrender to my weakness which repeats the same refrain over and over—you can’t, you aren’t enough, you will never make it. I don’t want to surrender to my anger and feel controlled and tossed around like being on a choppy ocean.
Read the rest of the post here: https://www.brokenandhopeful.com/blog/never-surrender

06/05/2026

I really hate cliff-hanger endings. I know some people consider it an art form, but I just get frustrated and want everything wrapped up and sorted out. I wrote a post a couple of years ago on the hardship of being in the middle of a story with no idea what the end will be. We like to listen to those who have completed that part of their journey—the cancer is gone, the marriage is restored, the kid has returned to the family. But right now, there is so much that cannot be tied up and completed. I feel that my most common answer to questions is “I don’t know.”

I battle with the part of me that wants to make plans, schedule things, get excited about whatever is coming next. And God keeps calling me back to moment-by-moment of walking with Him, and entrusting the ending and the future to Him. And frankly, I don’t like it.

The revelation I’ve been having, though, is how there is such a sweetness to that simplicity and smallness of the moments lived hand-in-hand with Jesus. I am weary, and it’s because I keep trying to run ahead and sort it all out for God. In taking a pause, I am reminded that it isn’t my responsibility to do God’s job—I get to follow.

The other piece of this revelation, though, is the celebration in the brokenness. And yes, you read that right—not after the brokenness, but in it. I’ve been reading a book called Suffer Strong, by Katherine & Jay Wolf. In it, they talk of experiencing the joyful rebellion of choosing to celebrate even in the middle of pain. Not celebrating the pain, but rather the God who we know will carry us through it. Even when we can’t see the end or how He’s going to do it, we can choose to thank Him because we know He’s faithful. This couple should know—she experienced a massive stroke at age 26, and they have learned to live with the complications that remain in her body.

This idea fascinated me as Katherine spoke of her friend hosting a celebration dinner after finding out her father had cancer to join together with their friends in prayer and mutual lifting up of their pain to their Father.
Read the rest of the post here: https://www.brokenandhopeful.com/blog/celebrating-in-the-brokenness

05/29/2026

God is teaching me these days about giving thanks in the “before.” What I mean by that is before the answer comes, the change happens and the provision is delivered. We love giving thanks “after” and there’s nothing wrong with that. But when we are able to praise Him before we see any evidence of His work, and simply because we know Him and trust His love for us, this is a different thing entirely. I think there’s also a humility in acknowledging we have no idea how He’s going to work in the situation, and if we are even going to like it. But He is never absent, and is always working in the difficulties to bring us closer to Him.

I see examples of this in Jesus giving thanks as He was dividing the fish and loaves to feed the five thousand. He didn’t see evidence in front of Him of how His Father was going to feed all these people, but He believed that’s what He was inviting Him into, and thanked Him in advance. Paul and Silas while in prison in Acts 16 sang praises before they were freed, and really without knowing they would be. They sang first, knowing that their God would take care of them in the best way. Later in Paul’s life, that looked like being in prison for a long time. Why didn’t God provide in the same way? Because He often changes things up, never settling for the same.

There are also times that our expectations are not met, and that’s why we believe He is not showing up. I want to be quick to ask for what He wants me to know in those situations, as it seems that usually He is moving me into change, asking me to put things down or changing my perspective through things that feel hard. These are times I have to come back to what I know and believe—Jesus loves me, He is working through all things for my ultimate good, and relationship with Him is more important than comfort. I can still give thanks before I see the resolution because I trust Him, not because I’m really liking the situation.
Read the rest of the post here: https://www.brokenandhopeful.com/blog/giving-thanks-before-we-receive

05/22/2026

New podcast episode now available! Disappointment: The Lie of God's Expectations is now available wherever you listen to podcasts. I will take a break this summer from podcasting, and will restart with a new series in the fall!

05/20/2026

Last year (repost from 2019), my sister-in-laws convinced me to try to run a 10K for the first time in my life. I was running a bit, but only short distances. Six miles seemed ridiculously far away. I often found myself running too fast in the beginning couple of miles, and then I was totally spent and couldn’t go further. I had to slow myself down so I could run for longer, increasing my endurance.

When race day came, it was a cold, wet November day—nothing like the nice autumn day I pictured when I signed up. We ran in the rain, got pelted by sleet, tried to dodge the ice and finished the race with frozen eyebrows and nosehairs. But we finished. There were a few times during the run that I thought I would never be able to finish, but I also realized that I was at a point that if I didn’t run to the end, I’d still have to walk to the end—there was no shortcut. And if I kept running, I’d get to a warm car and delicious brunch a little faster. The endurance I had learned in training was more essential than I ever thought it would be.

Endurance or perseverance is never something I really desire. It sounds difficult and discouraging. What I want is to get out of the hard thing. But as the verse below says, endurance refines our character which leads us back to hope. That sounds strange to me too—how does endurance end up leading us back to hope? Isn’t hope what makes us endure? No, the endless love of God cascading into our hearts through the Holy Spirit is what provides the strength for patient endurance. But He knows we need hope to keep plugging along, and He is faithful to bring us back to the bright light of hope.

There are a lot of circumstances in my life today in which I’d like to not have to learn patience endurance. I want the relenting, the victory, the freedom now. But I miss that the middle and perseverance learned there is what gives the struggle meaning.
(Read the rest of the post here: https://www.brokenandhopeful.com/blog/2019/05/31/endurance-perseverance)