04/11/2026
DAY 217, "OUR REALITY IS JESUS" from My Weakness for His Strength Volume One, by Michael Wells
I have often spoken of my trip to the interior of the Amazon with my brother when we met a man who was only a head. Yes, it is true, only a head. The rest of his body was no bigger than a book, with no arms, legs, or the appearance of a stomach. He was a head. Many see his photo and are as vexed as I was the day that I first laid eyes on him. We all wonder, “How would I cope with no legs or arms?” But for him it is not all that vexing, since it is his reality; it is how he was born, and he knows nothing different. It would be another matter had he been born fully formed until an accident turned him into that condition.
Today you, too, have a reality, a life that is all that you know, and one you believe to be very rich and full. If you had the opportunity to live just one moment in full abiding, you would find your life, your reality, to be terrible, nothing more than a shadow of what you could experience. You have only touched the hem of His garment, so to speak. To know Him in the power of His resurrection and to be like Him in His death, and then to accept how you live today would be intolerable.
There is surprisingly little written within the Christian community concerning the division Christ brings in families. In contrast, much is said about the need for
forgiveness, understanding, varied personalities in relationships, coping with the controlling in-law, showing Christ’s love, being long-suffering, and witnessing to the lost in the family. All of the aforementioned have their place and merit, but why neglect Jesus’ statement that He came to bring a sword, that He would set parent against child, and child against parent (Matthew 10:34-37)? These words are neatly overlooked, and those who have found the sword operating in their own family have also found themselves being judged by other Christians as being less spiritual. When there are hiccups in the relationships of the spiritual person, the occasion is often used to look for something “deep” that is wrong with him. Because of such pressure from others who maintain that conflict-free relationships are proof of spirituality, many throw their own bodies in front of the sword that Christ would wield, remaining in miserable relationships and attempting to improve the flesh-life of others by pandering to it. In choosing to appear to be “conflict free,” they are creating a lifetime of needless struggle with those who walk in the flesh.
It is my contention that Christ is more glorified through a believer’s deliverance before an event than in the event. If the truth were told in all relationships, we would find ourselves delivered years earlier than when we compromise and concede in order to preserve a false peace.
“I have a mother who continues to attempt to control my family. What am I to do?” “I have a father-in-law who dominates all our family time; how are we to respond?” “My mother has a terrible marriage, so she gives all of her attention to my children. She smothers them and questions every decision I make concerning them. How does a Christian behave in that setting?” “My parents will not work and insist on staying with us for prolonged periods. The stress is eating me up. What is your suggestion?” “My wife can never visit my parents’ home without being criticized and maligned. What can I do to help?”
What is our response to be to our relatives who are carnal, immature, and/or controlling? With the foundational principle at work of loving and praying for our enemies, we are first of all to tell the truth. The believer is not commanded to be silent concerning the carnal behavior of others, but only not to judge the persons engaging in that behavior. The epistles are written as an expression of the truth, and yet they do not judge the persons involved in the various wrong behaviors as worthless no-hopers. My wife has made many observations about my behavior that were helpful. She was not using those observations to say she was leaving me. I knew she loved me, was committed to me, and was staying. A brother once told me something about my behavior that he did not believe I would “swallow.” He said, “Do with the information what you want; I will love
you all the same.” Taking up the cross and denying self will lead believers to tell the truth about another’s behavior as the Spirit leads regardless of the conflict and rejection from which they might rather wish to escape. Have we
told our mother, father, sister, brother, or child the truth about his or her behavior, or have we lied through our silence in order to avoid conflict? The sword will either cut away the flesh and bring freedom, as it did for me when my friend told me something that he did not think I would swallow; or it will cut away a carnal relationship when the truth is not received and the person disappears because he only tolerates relationships wherein self and performance reign, not truth. When we take the time and trouble to point out error in someone we love and we are rejected, the rejection is very revealing. For instance, if one of us waited five years to tell the truth, and we are rejected, it demonstrates that the previous five years of pandering to the flesh accomplished nothing. The truth could just as easily have been told the first day and the whole mess gotten out of the way. As the person to whom the truth was told continues to justify himself, tell others his story of being abused and unappreciated, label the truth-teller accusing and condemning, and even question the truth-teller’s mental state and commitment to the Lord, we will know the right decision was made to tell the truth. The truth is cutting that one off from false brethren as only truth can, moving all things to their proper place.
I want to stop and make an important distinction in regard to those you, as a believer, consider to be family. Do you find it easier to tell those at work the truth about their behavior than family members? Is it easier for you to accept the rejection of a brother or sister in Christ than an earthly brother or sister? If you answered yes, then there is a fundamental problem of your having forgotten
to which family you primarily belong, the family with whom you became one through your true birth. Jesus reminds us that we are His family many times, such as when He said, “If they have called the head of the house
Beelzebub, how much more THE MEMBERS OF HIS HOUSEHOLD?” (Matthew 10:25). Your earthly family does not get special treatment simply so you can avoid rocking the boat! Because of the fear of rejection, it can take years to learn to love walking in truth, but it must be done! It is time to tell the truth about the controlling mother, the interrupting visits, the conflicting messages to the grandchildren, the alcoholism, and the divided home. Remember, I have already stated that we have no excuse not to love. Therefore, in one hand we carry love, and in the other, truth. Say the truth in love and let it divide, as it must. It is time!
A question might immediately come to mind: “What if I am wrong about my assessments?” Remember that if you pray before you speak, God is participating in your conversation. Also, if you are wrong, just as you have no excuse not to love, neither does the one to whom you are talking (even if he is an unbeliever).
It is valid to be vexed spiritually about the behavior of others. However, there is a deeper discomfort that comes from being silent about that behavior. Is it time to say something to your child that is involved in fornication? “I will be here for you, but not there for you. I disapprove of your behavior.” Is it time to say to the controlling mother-in-law, “I will be judged for the success of this family;
therefore, I will take the responsibility. Enough advice, manipulation, and control”? Is it time to say to the alcoholic father, “No more attending the Christmas party drunk and disruptive. I have decided to set a different example for my children”? Has the day arrived to tell the parent who calls to report all the marital and financial problems, “Why are you talking to me? Talk to the person I have to talk to when in turmoil; talk to Jesus. Good bye”? Christians are not called to a life of compromise.
When you confront your family member, you will in all likelihood be rejected. When a child is told for the first time he cannot have candy after throwing a fit, he throws a bigger fit. Expect your family member to throw a fit. However, you must stand fast or you will create a monster. The end result may be years of isolation from your family, with your only consolation being that you told the truth. Expect the enemy to whisper, “What kind of Christian are you? You are keeping that person from salvation, and you must honor your father and mother.” Do not listen. There is no greater honor shown those who begot you
than walking in truth, and no one can blame not having a walk with Christ on the behavior of another. You are a Christian who allowed Christ to wield His sword in your relationships.
To act on family matters is a faith act. Faith decisions are not made easier with time, for they are the same today, one year from now, or ten years from now. Time is never a variable. How long have you waited to tell the truth?
Could it be that today is the fullness of time? When you do, things may not improve in the life of the carnal. However, you can get on making your family an example of Christ without interruption and turmoil. Do it! Decide what is
right for your family, in Christ, and tell the truth. Let the division come if it must.
