09/05/2018
Psalm 28:7 (ESV) "The LORD is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him."
Have you ever had a truly honest moment with God? Like an all out, put all my dirty secrets out there, fist-swinging, ugly-crying moment with God? I did. I begged him for some help. I gave Him ideas on how He should help me.
Let me tell you something, I praise Him now for those unanswered ideas/prayers. He was there. He heard my anger. He heard my hurt.
It wasn't too long after that moment, sitting in my car, driving down the turnpike, screaming at Him with tears rolling down my face, that I decided to go back to church. But I will be 100% honest with you and tell you it was because I thought He wasn't answering my prayers because I wasn't praying hard enough.
That was the start of my walk with Christ as an adult. I don't know exactly when it all changed, when I stopped being so selfish in my prayers, but at some point things didn't feel so bad anymore.
I joined a group, and though I felt like an outsider in that group, I felt like I could see what I wanted... what I needed. They all seemed to know each other and pray for each other, and I just didn't know how to form that kind of connection. So my prayers changed more to a longing for belonging. I was praying for a group that I felt included, cared for, non-judged, and accepted.
God answered. Not long after I started those prayers I started seeing signs for a new church opening up in our neighborhood. I didn't attend right away as I was still trying to make connections at my church. After a few months of Restoration being open, I attended a service for the dedication of my nephew. I decided to attend for a couple more weeks to give it a real try. I almost instantly felt at home. There were so many ways to volunteer and by volunteering, I started to get to know people. I got involved in a small group bible study and now between that, my community group (now called house groups), volunteering at different events, being involved in kids ministry and leading the women's ministry, I can honestly say my prayer has been answered in abundance. I reach out to multiple people to pray real prayers with me and they are so much more meaningful prayers.
I truly believe that God was there with me those days of my ugly prayers holding me and leading me to community. He is my strength and my shield!
Are you feeling something similar? RC has grown in size by leaps and bounds since I first started attending. Do you feel like it's hard to connect? How can LIFT help you? What would you like to see that you feel is missing?
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you for always being there even when we think you aren't listening. Thank you for the unanswered ideas through gentle leading. Thank you for giving me the eyes to see now that I have come through that season.
I pray that you continue to do your work in me and through me. I pray that you send gentle reminders to all the women reading this right now that she is loved by You, in every moment of her life. I pray that you help our team meet the needs, seen and unseen, of the women in this community.
In Jesus' name I pray. Amen!
