07/24/2025
I woke up with a heavy heart today. Thoughts of past regrets and bad choices. So much heartache and then loneliness creeps in. I’ve walked this life being a people pleaser trying to find love and acceptance but in doing that I’ve hurt myself and others. You see, when we go through trauma as kids we seek love and attention or we become angry or isolated as adults. Seems like always looking for the “feel good” but once that wears off….your still left with whatever void you were trying to fill to start with. I tried filling that void with making sure I had a man in my life….whether he was the right one or not….I then put all of my time and attention into him (that’s what I was taught…that’s what I thought I was supposed to do and it was the only way to be “loved”) Now I’ve been filling that void with Jesus…..that’s where I should have ran to to start with but He knew that I would eventually come running. The enemy try’s everyday to creep back into my thoughts and emotions. He comes to kill, steal and destroy. Sometimes I fall for his lies but only for a little bit and then I pick up my sword (Gods Word) and put him in his place…which is beneath me!!! I know that I can’t change the past. I can’t rewrite history but I do know that I can make the future better….I just have to give God the pen….His writing is so much better than mine…
My heart hurts for those who are walking around so hurt and so broken that they are just filling the void with drugs, alcohol, s*x, food or whatever makes them feel good. I know how they feel and we all tend to find some kind of vice to ”fix” the void but the only real thing that’s going to fill or fix that void, that hurt is a real relationship with Jesus! He’s waiting. He knows our every hurt. He’s felt our every pain. He took everything on the cross for us! We just have to surrender our lives to Him! He loves me/you more than we can ever fathom!!
I’m a work in progress! This has not been an easy journey and I have a lot more work to do. Forgiving myself I think is the hardest part…..But God!!!
Celebrate recovery has been a blessing to me! It’s amazing how God works and who or what He puts in our lives to get us right where He had already planned for us to be……
Gods timing is perfect….I’m just learning that I have to be still and let Him work things out instead of trying to work it out myself….
If you have hurts, habits or hang-ups celebrate recovery meets on Wednesday nights at Covenant of Grace Church in lawrenceville Illinois at 6:00 pm for fellowship 6:30 starts with worship and big group then we break into small group. If your ready to make a change….this is a good place to start…..God Bless and I pray you all have a beautiful day!
God is Good All the time and All the time God is Good
