04/17/2025
NEEDING TO CONTROL THE STORY by Karen Minnich-Sadler
Without being aware of it, I often script the unfolding story. I think things will occur in a certain order or that one thing must happen in order for another to take place.
I should know better. Life has a way of surprising me, for I’m not the writer of my story. Certain choices I make can influence it, but it’s a fluid unfolding of something larger than I can possibly imagine.
When my expectations are set in stone, I’m usually blindsided, for I must learn not to need certainty. These life experiences are a path I get to walk one step at a time, and often the turns don’t allow me to see very far ahead.
Oh, how I pray for total trust and deepest faith, for this is the only way I’ll make it through life without giving up or giving in to fear and despair. Expectations are ludicrous and I know it, yet when things don’t turn out the way I thought they would, I get angry—at myself for having expectations and at God for not letting me know I was about to trip and fall.
One of the hardest challenges I have is to abide and allow, to let the Spirit flow from this deep place inside of me and be willing to go wherever life leads, without anxiety or need to know the ending. Hard as it is, I’ll not give up on the journey for I know the God to whom I belong.
This Presence in my life is so good and so soul-satisfying, everything else fades in comparison. Knowing outcomes isn’t as necessary anymore; demanding guarantees is seen for the illusion it is. What I want, more than anything, is to feel God’s Holy Presence within me and around me, reminding me this is the one true thing that matters.
God’s presence is all I ever truly need. I could lose everything but God would remain, and because of this, my life would be complete. God with me is the only guarantee I need to not give up on life.