04/27/2026
I shared this on my personal Facebook, but I really feel like more people might need to hear it. I’ve also been struggling lately when it comes to writing posts for the church, so this felt heavy on my heart to share. I hope everyone is having a great day, and I’d truly love to hear your thoughts. 💛
The more I read the Bible, the closer I feel to God… and something unexpected keeps happening.
The closer I get to Him, the more clearly I see me.
Not the version of myself I show the world. Not the version I convince myself I am. But the real flaws. The impatience. The pride. The moments I say something I shouldn’t. The thoughts that aren’t Christ-like. The times I fall short even when I’m trying not to.
And if I’m being honest… that realization can be heavy.
It’s like the light gets brighter, and instead of just feeling warmth, I start seeing the dust in the room. The imperfections. The areas that still need work. And some nights, that’s stressful. Some nights I don’t like who I see. I try to be a good person. I try to lead with love. I try to live right. But sometimes I fail.
Sometimes I fail more than I want to admit.
But here’s the thing I’m learning: conviction isn’t condemnation. Seeing your flaws isn’t a sign that you’re getting worse, it’s often a sign that you’re getting closer to Him. Because the closer we get to God’s holiness, the more aware we become of the places in us that still need refining.
And that’s not punishment. That’s growth.
I actually just made a YouTube video on my channel talking about this exact struggle. Being real about it. Being honest about it. And I know speaking openly about my faith might cost me some subscribers. I’ve already lost Facebook friends for talking about God.
But that’s okay.
Because my faith isn’t about numbers. It’s not about approval. It’s not about keeping everyone comfortable. It’s about obedience. It’s about truth. It’s about growth. And the people who walk away? I don’t feel anger toward them. I pray for them. I pray that one day they feel the same pull toward God that I do. I pray they experience His presence in a way that changes them.
Following Christ isn’t always easy. It shines light on the parts of us we’d rather keep hidden. It asks us to change. It humbles us. It stretches us. And yes, sometimes it stresses us.
But I would rather wrestle with conviction than live comfortably in blindness.
If you’ve ever felt like the closer you get to God, the more aware you become of your imperfections… you’re not alone. Maybe that awareness is proof that He’s working on you.
And I don’t know about you, but I’d rather be a work in progress in His hands than a finished product without Him.
“For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit… it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” – Hebrews 4:12
