10/02/2021
â˘ď¸WARNING! Long & transparent post!â˘ď¸
October 2nd, 2014 THE greatest day of my life! I am physically 41 years old but my life REALLY began 7 years ago. I was a dead woman walking with a heart of stone, selfish pride, living for myself, full of addictions, completely broken, hopeless, living in deep sin, and the dirty list just keeps going. I was not raised in a Christian home so I didnât know what a relationship with Jesus looked like. I always thought it was a list of âdoâs & donâts.â I thought that if you went to church, didnât steal, didnât do drugs, didnât cheat on your spouse, if you are just an overall good person, you are going to Heaven! Unfortunately, I learned the hard way (along with my husband and children) that is not true at all and that there will be a lot of âgoodâ people in Hell.
My problem was ME, and that I had to get out of my own way. Donât get me wrong, mine and Jasonâs marriage was not âfounded on a firm foundationâ to begin with. Jason and I didnât attend church, we drank a lot, we cussed like a sailor, we were selfishly living for ourselves, we didnât spend time together like we should, God was NO WHERE in the picture, we each had our own idols, no wonder why infidelity and po*******hy snuck into the MANY cracks of our marriage. I was living in bo***ge of childhood abuse, depression, addiction to not only pain pills & exercise, but an addiction to affirmation from other people, finding âhappinessâ in other things, in other jobs, in my kids, through new business adventures, and it all led to complete destruction because NOTHING on this earth was filling this God-shaped void in my heart. I covered up my pain with things of this world that had no foundation. I had no JOY in my life, any type of âhappinessâ I experienced quickly faded because true JOY only comes from a relationship with Jesus. Jason was raised in a loving Christian home, but ran from the Lord for many years, our world was falling apart by the minute!
On October 2nd, 2014 I was at the lowest of lows, the bottom of my pit, living in Hell on earth, I could not be more desperate. I was in my THIRD affair, yes you read that right, my THIRD affair. Remember, SIN IS NEVER SATISFIED!! My mother-in-law led me to The Lord in my car in Madisonville, TN. We werenât at church, we werenât at a Womenâs conference, we werenât at a Christian concert, we were in my car. Jesus met me RIGHT WHERE I WAS! I didnât have to âcome to Him cleanâ, I didnât have to first go to church, I didnât have to join the choir, I didn't have to get baptized, I didnât have to dress up and then come to him, He literally met me IN MY SIN! I accepted Him into my heart to be my Lord & Savior of my life and INSTANTLY, not in a few weeks, but instantly my life changed FOREVER! I was no longer living in darkness, the entire world looked different from that day forward.
I am here to say that in seven years, I have NEVER turned back. I have never went back to my old ways, I died to myself and have completely surrendered my life to Christ because He is the true giver of life! If you are living in secrecy, living in darkness, searching for âhappinessâ that just keeps taking you down a darker path, I am here to tell you that it will only get worse if you donât surrender to God. You are not too broken, you are not too dirty, you are not too far gone. Since being saved, I have spoken at 60+ conferences, churches, womenâs events, I wrote a book, âMy Story, Godâs Glory: A Story of Redemption,â etc. I say that because God can use YOU and your testimony to help break free others from their bo***ge. If God can use a broken person like me, He can use every part of your brokenness too. YOU JUST HAVE TO GIVE IT TO HIM!
Because of Jesus, I am FREE, I am FORGIVEN, I am FULL OF JOY, I live in complete PEACE, and my marriage & children are stronger than ever and now founded on THE ROCK!
I love you and Jesus does too! â¤ď¸
