I have spent most of my life trying to live up to immeasurable expectations - I did every horrible, obscene, hateful and illegal thing to make others like me and still, when it came time to lay my head down each night, I was always alone and ashamed. I took pride in demoralizing Christians who attempted to lend a hand, believing that no Supreme Being could exist while my life spiraled so deplorabl
y out of control. It took a near fatal heart blockage and a modest cardiologist to open my eyes to the only One I had to impress - and for the past 9 years I have embraced a love I once could only fantasize about! I know there are others like the "47 years of me" who simply need to take a step toward that true light - believe, please, that the Deby who stands before you was once so far from God it has caused some old friends and family to walk away because the change is so drastic. There are many people who could testify to what a mess I was, from the age of 5 to possibly even 56 (still working on it!), but I accept that, because it proves my sincerity. I know what it's like to feel that no one cares enough to try to fix a misunderstanding, just as I recall how painful a punch to the cheek is. But all of that pales when compared to the true love of Jesus Christ - and you don't need to be a church goer or evangelist sharing your emotions with the world to prove it to Him. He knows!
