10/07/2024
My grandchildren will ask me: what did you do as the dreams of your grandparents and many of their grandparents and some of their grandparents fell apart, blew up, in slow motion?
And I will tell them: I did the laundry, got the kids to school, sat at my desk and sent emails, read the newspaper. And there were always so many dishes.
But did you take sides? they will ask
There were no sides, I'll say quietly. It may seem like there were but there was mostly
fear
and
fear
and
fear
and a frantic longing for a sense of who my people are, who has my back and who doesn't and so much
suffering
and
suffering
and
suffering.
When I was preparing for labor, my midwife told me, there is a
different between pain and suffering. Pain is a sensation. Suffering is a choice.
Netanyahu, Hamas, Hizbollah, the Israeli War Cabinet, they choose suffering and revenge and more suffering - monsters, all of them, in an embrace that destroys worlds upon worlds.
So then, my grandchildren repeated incredulously, what did you DO?
Oh my dears, I sighed,
loved with all my heart
raised Jewish children
tried to feel the interconnectedness of all, every damn day, even when I was paralyzed with grief
cared for our broken Jewish people as best as I could
rested
dreamed