09/19/2025
Last night, we covered the topic of grieving when we lose someone close or when we hear about tragedies in the news. The Bible gives us permission to grieve, as long as we do not sin in the process. The Bible shows us the steps we should follow in the process of lamenting. Here are a few of the things we discussed:
Is it okay to feel…?
• Hurt & sorrow: Jesus wept at Lazarus’s tomb (John 11:35). The Psalms are full of tears. Ligonier summarizes laments as moving “from heartbreak to hallelujah,” not skipping the pain.
• Confusion: “How long, O Lord?” is a biblical prayer (Ps. 13). Habakkuk wrestles with God’s timing in judgment and mercy. Lament is welcomed, not shamed.
• Worry: We are invited to cast anxieties on Him (1 Pet. 5:7; Phil. 4:6–7).
• Anger: Anger at evil and loss can be righteous, but Scripture warns, “Be angry and do not sin” (Eph. 4:26). Lament aims that heat toward God in prayer, not at people in sin. Ligonier notes lament is more than catharsis; it is worship shaped by truth.
A biblical path through tragedy
1. Lament honestly
Use the Bible’s own language of sorrow. Classic laments move through a pattern you can imitate: Prayer → Problem → Petition → (Confession/Protestation) → Praise. Pray Scripture (e.g., Psalms 13, 42–43).
2. Rehearse who God is (sovereign, good, near)
God works all things (even terrible things) together for the believer’s ultimate good—conforming us to Christ. Don’t weaponize Romans 8:28; apply it patiently as ballast, not a band-aid.
3. Fix hope on the resurrection
We “do not grieve as others do who have no hope.” Christian grief is real and hope-saturated because death is defeated. GTY’s resources on the believer’s death stress this future certainty in Christ.
4. Cast burdens and pray
Pour out anxiety to the Lord (Phil. 4:6–7). When words fail, the Spirit helps our weakness (Rom. 8:26–27). Romans 8 underscores the Spirit’s ministry in suffering.
5. Lean on Christ’s sufficiency, not self-help
MacArthur regularly emphasizes that in crises Christ is enough—Scripture, prayer, and the church are God’s ordinary means, not self-reliance.
6. Stay in the ordinary means of grace
Word, prayer, sacraments, fellowship (Acts 2:42). Bear one another’s burdens (Gal. 6:2), weep with those who weep (Rom. 12:15). Reformed practice centers care in the local church family.
7. Guard against sinful responses
Bitterness, vengeance, escapism, or false gospels (e.g., “if you had enough faith, you wouldn’t suffer”). Love Worth Finding warns against prosperity-style distortions and offers accessible teaching on a right view of suffering and trusting God when we don’t understand.
8. Wait for the turn to praise
In many laments, trust and praise appear before circumstances change. That “turn” is an act of faith, not denial.
How this differs from the popular “stages of grief”
• The Bible does not prescribe a universal sequence (denial → anger → bargaining → depression → acceptance). It validates grief’s complexity, and directs it Godward. Christians grieve with hope under God’s providence; lament is worship, not mere venting.
A simple, biblical “liturgy of lament” you can use
1. Address God: “O Lord, my God…” (Ps. 13:1).
2. Bring the pain plainly: Name the loss, fear, confusion (Ps. 42:3–4).
3. Ask boldly: For help, justice, comfort, wisdom (Ps. 10:12; Jas. 1:5).
4. Confess/Entrust: Acknowledge sin if relevant; reaffirm trust (Ps. 32; Ps. 13:5–6).
5. Hope aloud: Speak resurrection promises (1 Thess. 4:13–18; Rom. 8:18, 28).
