05/22/2026
"What, my true servant?" says Satan. "My old servant, will you forsake me now? Having so often sold yourself to me to work wickedness, will you forsake me now? You horrible wretch, do you not know that you have sinned beyond the reach of grace, amd do you think that you can find mercy now? Are you not a murderer, a thief, a harlot, a witch, a sinner of the greatest size, and do you look for mercy now? Do you think that Christ will defile His fingers with you? It is enough to make angels blush," Satan says, "to see so repulsive a one knock at heaven's gate for mercy, and will you be so abominably bold to do it?"
This is a quote from John Bunyan in his book 'Jerusalem Sinner Saved' which later would be named 'Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners. Within this writing we see something raw and relatable. I see the same thoughts I have had about myself. The same tactics Satan uses today.
Satan will keep reminding us of the failures and vile things of our past. He will keep telling us that we are unworthy because of the things we have done. Sometimes our eyes will be fooled, and every time we look at ourselves in a mirror we see a monster. The ugliness. The wrongness. We see the sinner.
We fail to recognize who God is because we cant look past our shortcomings. I say we, but I mean me. My past is riddled with wrong decision after wrong decision. Whenever I try to start down the right path and follow what God is leading me towards, all I can think of is that no one will want to listen to me. What weight does a convicted felon have in matters of church? I tell myself I should just shut up and hide myself away. That the less the church sees of me the better.
But that is not God's design or desire for any of us. Jesus speaks of this in Matthew 5:14-16 NIV [14] “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. [15] Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. [16] In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven."
Each of us was designed for our own unique purposes. But none of us were designed to stay hidden. But why is that? Why can I not just sit in my corner of church and praise and worship without anyone seeing me or knowing who I am? Because we are Christians. We are to be Christ like in our actions amd deeds. And who is Christ? He is the light of the world. John 8:12 NIV
[12] When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”
Satan will attack. He will belittle. He will cover your eyes with self imagery of who you were. We will see ourselves, I see myself as a sinner. But when God looks upon me all He sees is a son.
So I urge you, stop listening to the doubt and negativity your mind is telling you. Stop judging yourself by your past self and start looking at the future self. The self God knows you can be. The self God is building you up to be. The son or daughter that God loves with agape love. That unconditional and ultimate love. And if you ever wonder just how much love that is, just stretch your arms as wide as they can go to your sides.
But that still is nowhere close to the love God has for us. But its the best earthly representation we have. Because that's what Jesus looked like when He paid the price for our sins as He hung on that cross.
John 3:16 NIV says, "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." It's says whoever. Not the worthy. Not the ones that have their life together. But WHOEVER. That word in Greek means: every the whole: - all (manner of means). Not one is excluded.
John 3:17 continues with, "For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him." Jesus was sent as the physical embodiment of mercy. He was the grace for our punishment. Justice is getting the punishment we deserve. Mercy is not receiving the punishment we deserve. Grace is receiving blessings we could never deserve.
Paul talks about this best in Romans 5:8 NIV. It says, "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." And Romans 5:6 says that while we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly.
So, when the devil is throwing everything he can at you. When he brings up what happened 5 years ago. When he reminds you how you treated that person. When he doesn't let you forget those thoughts you had. Remember that those things are in the past. That if you have repented on those things, they no longer matter. That while you were still yet a sinner, Christ died for you. That you have received the grace that was offered by Jesus Christ. And because of that none of those things matter anymore. That grace is receiving blessings we could never deserve. Remember that Satan only wants to distract you long enough to take you away from your calling and to dim your light. So that you will hopefully not be an impact in someone's life. But let your light shine. Shine bright because it is Jesus Christ shining through you. Shine bright so that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father.