Temple Beth Tikvah

Temple Beth Tikvah Reform congregation located in the Clear Lake area. Welcome to all!

01/29/2026
12/19/2025

Dr. Nu (Part 5)

Using stealth and speed Bond makes his way undetected to the
staircase which is blocked by a guard, wearing a tall chef hat, and a large server.

Bond : (To guard) Hi, I'm Jim Rockford from Western Wall Union. I have a candygram here for Dr. Nu. I was told to just slip it under the door of his study upstairs by the guard outside the front door. (Leans over and whispers) I think it's from an old girlfriend so why don't I just scamper up these stairs, drop it off and discretely leave before anyone notices?

Guard : Fine. (Lifts the lids off of the food platters) But first, can I interest you in some pork? We've got baked pork, fried pork, grilled pork, cold pork, pork and beans, pork ribs, pork chops, pork stew, pork ka-bob, pork salad, pork etufay, pork fricacasse and pork ponchatrain.

Bond : Hey, sounds great but I just had a big breakfast. I'll have to pass on the pork.

Guard : (Removes chef hat to reveal short sword which he grabs
menacingly). I'm afraid that I'm going to have to insist. Dr. Nu's house rules, no one goes upstairs without eating pork. We've been warned that Maccabeean spies may try to infiltrate the mansion. You haven't seen any have you?

Bond : Why no. I guess I will have some pork. Do you have any
whole roasted pig basted in Miller High Lite beer?

Guard : (Annoyed) Just pick out something on the table.

Bond : Very well. I think it would only be proper though if I
offered you some food in return (takes out a latke). Latke?

Guard : You know, I am getting sick of pork. I've had nothing but pork for six days (looks suspiciously at latke). You taste it first.

Bond : (Eating safe half) Ummm, yum-yum (pats stomach).

Guard : (Grabs latke and wolfs down) Not bad. (Starts licking
fingers and then falls asleep).

12/18/2025

Dr. Nu (Part 4)

Bond : Sorry.

Mother : Finally, here is a thermos containing steaming hot, chicken soup.

Bond : (Takes thermos). Does it have an acid base designed to cut through metal? (Holds arms out in questioning pose with thermos in left hand and prayer book in right). [Man in picture swipes at book but misses].

Mother : No.

Bond : Is it laced with cyanide in case I’m captured by the enemy? (Holds arms out again in questioning pose with thermos in left hand and prayer book in right). [Man in picture swipes at book but misses again].

Mother : No.

Bond : Then what secret gimmick is it used for? (Holds arms out a third time and this time man in picture gets hold of book by the front cover but in the process kippah falls onto shoulder and talis slips to diagonal position across abdomen like European royalty).

Mother : None, it’s just a thermos containing steaming hot, chicken soup.

Bond : Just hot chicken soup? How could that possibly help me?

Mother : (Shrugs) How could it hurt? Okay, you’re all set. (Bond eats the rest of the half eaten latke). What are you doing? I just told you that that half contains a strong sedative.

Bond : I know. I like to take a nap after a big meal. (Bond takes quick look at man in picture with kippah on shoulder, talis for a sash and still holding prayer book by front cover. Gives it a suspicious look and then falls asleep).

Mother : (To herself) What a zchlub. He’ll never pull it off. I might as well call my travel agent right now and start making my travel plans for Damascus. (Picks up phone). Hello, this is what I need you to bring over.

0700, 26th, Kislev, 168 B.C.E. - Outside Dr. Nu’s Jerusalem mansion.

Bond : Hi, is Dr. Nu in?

Guard : Maybe he is, maybe he isn’t. What’s yer business?

Bond : Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Maury Schwartz, tie salesman from Haifa. And these (takes out ties) are our new line of Fall ties straight out of Tyre.

Guard : (Examines ties) Nice.

Bond : Thank you. You know these ties are dirt cheap too. We actually lose money on every sale but we make up on volume. We’re also running a special this week for assimilated, Hellenized stooges only, buy two ties at just one and a quarter times the regular price and receive a third tie at only one half of the regular price. You can’t beat that! I mean at these prices you can’t afford not to buy these ties. Why don’t you keep looking them over and pick out the ones you like? Take your time. I’ll just slip inside, use the bathroom and I’ll be right back.

12/17/2025

Dr. Nu (Part 3)

Mother : Because he thinks that by becoming Hellenized he can expand his Podiatry clinics throughout the Syrian empire. With the increasing size of the Syrian empire and the related troop movements back and forth between territories he projects a doubling of the overall market for Podiatrists within the next two years.

Bond : Hmm. Makes a lot of sense.

Mother : Tell me about it. Your alias will be “Maury Schwartz” tie salesman from Haifa. Here are your tie samples (hands Bond an assortment of flowery, brightly decorated ties).

Bond : (lays out ties on arm and examines). [Man in picture starts davening back and forth and talis slips off and falls on Bond’s arm next to ties without Bond noticing]. Hey, these are nice. (Looks at talis last and gives it funny look).

Mother : Thank you. I designed them myself.

Bond : Can I keep one? [Man in picture tries to sn**ch talis back just as Bond takes it off arm and ties around neck].

Mother : No, and if you lose any it comes out of your pay. We do have an employee discount program though. 10% off the retail price for all spy accessories. Now pay attention 777. Our scientists have developed the following gadgets designed to assist you in your mission. First, we have these special latkes. Here, have a bite. (Bond takes a bite).

Bond : (chewing latka). [Man in picture tries to sn**ch talis again just as Bond is putting back on arm. Man in picture misses and in process drops prayer book on floor with distinct thud. Bond freezes and slowly gives a 360 look to entire room. Doesn’t notice anything and turns back to M.] This latke is excellent.

Mother : Thank you. I made them myself from an old family recipe. But look here at the other half of the latke which you will notice is slightly darker than the half you ate from. It’s been soaked with a strong sedative, guaranteed to put anyone to sleep within seconds.

Bond : Perfect for schnoorers. (Bond notices prayer book on floor. Picks up and dusts off).

Mother : Yes, very funny. We also have a large pair of harmless looking dreidels. But when you push on the handles like this, long knife blades protrude from the ends.

Bond : Perfect for close shaves.

Mother : (Annoyed look), ahem, right. And here is your most valuable weapon, (unrolls a small scroll) a license to deal. A signed and sealed document which officially authorizes you, on behalf of His Majesty’s government, to trade in all merchandise and commodities produced and sold in Israel.

Bond : Perfect for secret exchanges.

Mother : (Loses temper). Enough with the puns already! I can’t stand

12/16/2025

Dr. Nu (Part 2)

All of the above is well known and has long been the official story of Hanukkah. But the heretofore hidden and unofficial story of Hanukkah is just now starting to “come to light” thanks to Israeli Premier, Benjamin Netanyahu's recently instituted Freedom Of Information Act. New information, long kept secret from the public is now being made available for the first time explaining the important role that the Israeli Intelligence Agency played in the victory of the Maccabees. Following is the “inside” story of how this victory was really achieved. The real names of the individuals involved remains classified information as many of the descendants of these early Jewish heroes are still active agents in the present day Mossad.

0700, 25th, Kislev, 168 B.C.E. - Secret meeting at “The Source” (original name for the Israeli Intelligence Agency now known as “The Mossad” which incidentally, preceded Scotland Yard and the CIA by over two thousand years) headquarters at an unnamed retail outlet in an unknown city! Present are the first head of The Source, code named “M”, also known as “Mother” and the first Israeli secret agent, code named Bond (yea, they stole the name from us too), Savings Bond (AAA rated), agent number 777.

Bond : Secret agent 777 reporting for duty M. [Sits down in chair in front of M’s desk. Next to Bond on wall is life size painting of an orthodox Jew davening. Bond glances at picture with quizzical look on face].

Mother : You look so pale and skinny. Have you had anything to eat this morning?

Bond : No.

Mother : What kind of a mother sends her son out of the house without first making him a big breakfast? Eat, eat. Then we’ll talk spy business. (Cooks him a big breakfast).

Bond : (Finishes eating). That was delicious. [Man in picture’s kippah falls off while davening next to Bond and Bond hears slight “oy”. Bond turns and notices kippah on floor. Picks up and turns back to M].

Mother : You didn’t finish your eggs. (Folds arms) we’re not starting until you finish your eggs (Bond finishes eggs). As you know Bond, our country is currently occupied by the Hellenized Syrians. What you probably don’t know is that Dr. Nu, the well known and highly successful Podiatrist, has assimilated to the Syrians and that Antiochus has secretly appointed him the leader of the intelligence branch of the assimilated Jews in Israel. Your mission is to break into Dr. Nu’s heavily guarded mansion and steal the Syrian battle plans which he keeps locked in his desk in the study.

Bond : I’ve heard of Dr. Nu. He owns a string of Podiatry clinics throughout Israel. If he’s doing so well then why is he assimilating? [Man in picture sn**ches kippah out of Bond’s hand and hurriedly puts back crookedly on head].

12/14/2025

Dr. Nu (Part 1)

Narrator:
[Setting = Grandmother in traditional Jewish living room is sitting by fireplace with grandson, who is holding Rubik’s cube, and granddaughter in lap and reading to them:]

From the book Jewish Days:
Grandmother:
“The Zodiac sign for Kislev is Sagittarius, the Archer. In Hebrew, the symbol is called keshet, a bow. In the story of Noah and the Flood, which dominates the previous month of Heshvan, the rainbow that glows after the Flood is also called keshet. That bow symbolized G-d’s covenant and continued reconciliation with humans. The bow of Kislev is a more warlike one, the archer’s weapon, and perhaps G-d’s as well, aimed at defeating Israel’s enemies. In this month the defeated enemies are the Hellenized Syrians who sought to eliminate the Jewish religion and the highly assimilated Jews who would have allowed them to do so. The archers are Judah the Maccabee and his brothers, who saved the nation. Indeed, the prophet Zechariah is said to have foreseen the Maccabean victories when he proclaimed in G-d’s name, “I have drawn Judah taut, and applied My hand to Ephraim as to a bow” (9:13).

[Grandson, who has ADD and slight Asberger’s, gets bored and gets off lap and stands on head, still holding Rubik’s cube].
The part of the story that has a historical basis is told in the Book of Maccabees, in the Apocrypha, an assortment of works not included in the canon of the Hebrew Bible. In the year 165 B.C.E., Judah Maccabee and a band of Jewish rebels marched into Jerusalem and within a few months cleansed the Temple, which the Syrian rulers of Judea had defiled. They proclaimed the twenty-fifth of Kislev the beginning of an eight-day holiday of rededication. The festival of Hanukkah-the name comes from the Hebrew word for dedication-has been celebrated on that day ever since.The point in the story when a miracle is said to have occurred (which is not mentioned in the Book of Maccabees) is when Judah and his men began purifying the Temple they found only one unopened, uncontaminated cruse, with enough oil to light the menorah for one day. Miraculously, the oil kept the Temple lit for eight days, until new oil was prepared, and that is the reason why the holiday has been celebrated for eight days.

[Grandson sticks nearby candles up nose and continues working with cube]
The heroism of the Maccabees has been reemphasized in the modern State of Israel, where their courage has come to stand for the courage of the nation as a whole, pitted as it was for so many years against enemies on all sides. Today, Jews inside and outside of Israel tend to recognize both the national and spiritual aspects of the holiday by celebrating its story and kindling its lights. In doing so, they rejoice in the wondrous victory of the few over the many and the weak over the powerful. They also recall the many other dark periods in their long history that, like the Maccabean era, were illuminated by the determination of a small people to remain unique among the nations.”

[Grandson raises cube to show it has been solved].

12/13/2025

Shabbat Sermon 12-12-2025

Sermon = Make Loving Protests, Not Warring Ones

Vayeishev [Jacob] Settled Genesis 37:1−40:23

"And a certain man found him, and, behold, he was wandering in the field. And the man asked him, saying: ‘What seekest thou?’ 16 And he said: ‘I seek my brethren. Tell me, I pray thee, where they are feeding the flock.’ 17 And the man said: ‘They are departed hence; for I heard them say: Let us go to Dothan.’ And Joseph went after his brethren, and found them in Dothan."

This is the start of The Joseph story in the Bible. The longest story in the Bible. "Joseph" in Hebrew means "to add". There's just something about a Joseph who comes from up north and goes down south and becomes the leader of his extended family that makes it my favorite Bible story. I don't know why.

As we've already noticed, the presence of God in the Bible keeps getting more subtle. No more Angels here. Just dreams. God provides the setting but it's up to us now on how to react. Above, "a certain man" just happens to find Joseph and just happens to ask him what he is looking for. And just happens to know where to find it. Quite a coincidence.

Joseph is looking for his brothers. He is always looking for his brothers. There is already a lot of tension between Joseph and his brothers, ironically, because of Joseph's dreams. But regardless of the history, and here it is about the worst possible history, Joseph is still motivated by what he wants. And what he wants is an extended family. An extended family that wants to be together and move forward together no matter what the past.

This desire of Joseph will serve him (and especially his brothers) well by the end of the story and make, what I think, is the best story in The Bible (forgiveness).

Recently my Jewish cousin posted on Facebook that he was very proud of a famous 20th century Jewish writer who wrote that Israel’s apartheid and discrimination against Palestinians would be a significant cause of antisemitism. This cousin and I are otherwise very similar in our politics and prioritize Social Justice. The post set me off in a warring rage. I wanted to respond in kind that it was the Palestinians that were antisemitic, apartheidish and discriminated against Jews. I thought about all the violent pro-Palestinian protests recently and how they often started as not just anti Israel but anti Jewish. I wanted to respond in kind. Organize the same type protest at a Palestinian, Arab or Muslim organization complete with signs and slogans demonizing their behavior.

But then I read the story of Joseph (for about the 1,000 time). Joseph’s brothers accused Joseph of being the cause of their actions but they were the ones who acted violently against Joseph. So what was Joseph’s reaction when he could have done whatever he wanted to them? He talked to them, had a dialogue, and pointed out their wrongful behavior but did not act towards them as they acted towards him. He reconciled with them because he wanted a future with them. Forgiveness was more important to him than revenge.

This all reminded me of the peace protests in the 1960s against The War. The Peace Movement tried to change the narrative from trading conclusions about guilt to having a dialogue and talking instead of yelling.

In relation to the current violent and antisemitic pro-Palestinian protests, what should your reaction be if you are Jewish? If you have no reaction then to some extent you are tolerating antisemitism. If you respond in kind you are doing something worse. Our reaction should be an effort to speak, to try and understand and to present a reasonable example. An effort to listen, acknowledge suffering and present thoughts for reconciliation.

Our Bible says the Palestinians are our “brethren”. I think their Bible says something similar. Our ability to heal must be greater than our ability to hurt or be hurt.

Let us be like Joseph and reconcile with our brothers. And value forgiveness over revenge.

Make Loving Protests, Not Warring Ones

Shabbat Shalom

10/04/2025

Rosh Hashanah 2025 President’s Speech Temple Beth Tikvah

Battleground Tikvah

“You had a good home in Egypt but you left,
You’re right.
Pharoah was there when you left,
You’re right.
Sound off, One God.
Sound off, One God.
Chazan rhythm, One God.
…(pointing finger in air) One God!”

Temple Beth Tikvah has seen a surge in membership recently and ironically, I think it is because of the surge in antisemitism recently due to the war in Israel. It’s traditional for the majority to not like Jews but now it seems as though all minorities also hate other minorities. Except for Jews, who only hate other Jews. The current wave of antisemitism has made Jews feel isolated and out of touch with their Jewish identity. Some now want to assert and rediscover their Jewish identity and are now rejoining Temples to have a safe place for Judaism where they can express their Judaism with other Jews.

“Battleground” was a 1949 war film starring James Whitmore, a young Ricardo Montalban (before he became wrathful) and Denise Darcel (for no apparent reason other than an apparent reason). Anyone else besides me still have a poster of Denise Darcel in their bedroom? Just me? Okay.

The setting was the American 101st division holding Bastogne France, which was the last major impediment against the last major German offensive, a drive to the critical port city of Antwerp, which would have split the Allied lines and taken away the main Allied supply route from England. The N**i hope was that if they had a successful offensive here the allies would agree to a peace treaty in Western Europe and the N**is could move all their forces to the Eastern Front.

The surrounding French cities were all held by other allies who had retreated due to the German onslaught. Only the Americans at Bastogne were in the way.

The 101st was an Airborne division so it had no heavy weaponry. The small contingent of American soldiers found themselves surrounded on all sides, outnumbered and outgunned (sound familiar?). The Germans, trying to preserve their armor all the way to Antwerp, offered a conditional surrender. Just leave the Americans’ temporary home and no one would get hurt, including civilians. N**i’s saying no one would get hurt. Yea, right. The American commander’s response to the offer became the most famous response in military history, “NUTS!”. When General Patton (perhaps you’ve heard of him) heard this, he said, “A man who speaks that eloquently must be saved.”

Thousands of missiles rained down on Bastogne for days while the Americans ran out of ammunition, supplies and food until all they had left was hope. They held out just long enough though for General Patton to break the siege from the South.

Sometimes the enemy’s main hope is that you give up your hope. Here though, the stopping of the German offensive at Bastogne, ended the N**i hope. By not giving up your hope, you can end their hope.

As we come back out of our shelters and return to our home at Temple Beth Tikvah, we invite everyone to start attending our home once again. We Jews are the smallest religious minority and if we can save Judaism then every religion is safe. We invite you to make a stand for religious freedom.

At Battleground Tikvah.

08/30/2025

Temple Beth Tikvah - 8-29-2025
After hours D'var Torah:
Torah: Shof'tim (Judges) – Deuteronomy 16:18–21:9
The Justice Rules. A Mean Ending Or An End To The Mean?

The quote:

"Justice, Justice shalt thou follow".

For Jews, the most famous quote is:

"Hear o Israel, the Lord is one." Unfortunately this came to be associated with the last words Jews ever spoke. The second most famous quote, more associated with life, is above, "Justice, Justice you shalt follow."

The question:

Why is "Justice" written twice?

The Background:

The Jews have grown up. Moved out of their parent's home in Egypt and purchased their own home in Israel with a mortgage from God and their home as collateral. The mortgage agreement contains numerous commandments. "Justice, Justice" is one of them. The first step in following this commandment is to try and understand what it means:

The Commentators:

The Rashi (the true believer) =
The first paragraph of the portion literally describes how to set up a just legal system that will dispense just decisions. Rashi, the literalist, notes this, and concludes that the judicial system works best if the system itself is just. The commandment stands by itself.

Maimonides (the rationalist) =
Maimonides, the interpreter, notes that the second "Justice" is unusual and requires interpretation. He says the second Justice refers to the interpretation of the Law as opposed to the letter of the Law. Dispensed Justice should factor in kindness and Mercy. The commandment should be mixed with the other commandments.

The Holy Yehudi =
Why is it written: ‘Justice, justice, shalt thou follow’ [Deut 16:20]? Why is the word ‘justice’ repeated?” He answered: “We ought to follow justice with justice, and not with unrighteousness.” That means: The use of unrighteousness as a means to a righteous end makes the end itself unrighteous; injustice as a means to justice renders justice unjust.

I Joseph (as taught to me by The Great Teacher Rebbe of Clean Lake) =
Moses, our teacher, had previously asked God what He consisted of. God answered that He consisted solely of positive attributes, such as Justice and Mercy.

When you achieve a just end you have just achieved a just end. But if you use injustice to achieve a just end, you have hurt Justice. And if you hurt Justice, you have hurt God:

Even though the rest of the world applies a different standard of Justice to us than what they follow and our enemy has no standard of Justice our standard should still be Justice Justice:

Feed the hungry.
Clothe the poor.
No exceptions. Even in war.

After hours D'var Torah dedicated to the late Supreme Court Justice Ruth Ginsberg who always prominently displayed this Deuteronomy quote in her chambers.

(For those who ask who is The Great Teacher Rebbe of Clean Lake my answer is what he/she taught me, The Great Teacher Rebbe of Clean Lake is whoever you think it is).

Shabbat Shalom

08/03/2025

Temple Beth Tikvah - 8-2-2025
After hours D'var Torah:
Torah: Korah – Deuteronomy 1:1−3:22
D'varim דְבָרִים The Words - The Hunger Games. Eating Your Own Word.

After hours D'var Torah - The Hunger Games. Eating Your Own Word.

"2 And the LORD spoke unto me, saying: 3 ‘Ye have compassed this mountain long enough; turn you northward. 4 And command thou the people, saying: Ye are to pass through the border of your BRETHREN the children of Esau, that dwell in Seir; and they will be afraid of you; take ye good heed unto yourselves therefore; 5 contend not with them; for I will not give you of their land, no, not so much as for the sole of the foot to tread on; because I have given mount Seir unto Esau for a possession. 6 Ye shall purchase food of them for money, that ye may eat; and ye shall also buy water of them for money, that ye may drink."

Background:

The Jews are entering the promised land and Coach Moses is giving them instructions. But first, a zseidal note. Moses is referred to as "Moses our teacher". But what was Moses' greatest attribute?:

How many say teacher?
How many say student?

The Law was God's. Moses learned and communicated it to us Jews. Moses learned how to communicate from Jethro who was a non Jewish Priest of God.

If you are always a Teacher, you never improve.
If you are always a student, you always improve.

Back to the D'var Torah. It's common for religion to somehow give members of that religion a belief that God is exclusive to that religion and therefore believers of that religion always have the sole support of God and can do whatever they want against other religions and will always be successful. This Torah portion however tells a different story (so to speak).

In our current Torah portion God explains that sometimes Israel will have to fight. But they will not always be victorious. If we follow the rules, we win. If we don't follow the rules, we lose. And sometimes we don't have to fight. Even if we would win.

Our God is everyone's God. God says He has His own agreements with other countries that are not Jews. Some of them have been in Israel as long as us and some of them are related to us. God specifically tells the Hebrews not to fight and take land away from Esau's descendants (Jacob's brother). They have the same God we do and have their own agreement with God.

In the previous Torah portion God said that killing someone, even in war, who is not your enemy, is always a sin. And can not be atoned for. Saying, "Any other country..." or "No one else...". is not our rule. We already have rules:

Feed the hungry.
Clothe the poor.

No exceptions. Even in war.

That's how you win. Set a good example and set the table. For everyone.

Shabbat shalom

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Houston, TX
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