06/15/2021
🙏🏻
Dear friend in Christ,
I write to you as a post-pandemic mother of two small children. My husband, two sons, and I attend Mass together, and did throughout most of the pandemic when we were allowed to attend Mass outside. First it was Mass on TV, then we were out on the lawn, then we were in the parish hall for two weeks, then back on the lawn, then back in the parish hall, then in the parking lot for months. It was confusing, frustrating, and difficult for every adult trying to attend Mass with faith and joy.
There have been an infinite amount of difficulties every single individual has faced due to the pandemic, but today I want to speak to attendance at church with children, and only that, and ask one small thing of you.
Can you imagine, if it was confusing for adults, how confusing, frustrating, and difficult it was for my 2-year-old son? Pre-pandemic, he and I attended Mass together every day. He was accustomed to the rhythm of it, to the routine of it, to the predictability of it. As you can imagine, the pandemic ruined all of the rhythm, routine, and predictability of attending Mass for him. When the church opened back up, we had to start at square one. It has not been easy - at all.
And I am just one of millions of parents who have had to start back at square one with children and Mass. Many of us are exasperated, tired, and filled with dread as we drive into post-pandemic Mass on Sunday imagining how it will go with the children. Many of us are already totally fried by the Gloria (a.k.a. me). Some of us want to audibly shout, “THANKS BE TO GOD!” when the priest has finally said, “The Mass is ended, let us go…”
The reason I am writing to you today is to ask for a renewed and revitalized support, patience, and compassion for families who are at Mass.
It is no secret that Catholicism has lost many Mass attendees due to the pandemic. There are many who will never return, some who will return only to attend on Christmas and Easter. That’s another topic for another day. But I think very often about the husband and wife who may look at each other one weekend and say, “Well…let’s try in-person Mass again with the kids,” who get their children in the car to try for their first time back. It is a leap and act of faith - a leap and act of love.
And I just imagine all the ways it could go to either bolster them in continuing to return to the Eucharist as a family or drive them away.
I imagine people staring, giving them displeased glances (which I have certainly received) as they start back at square one, and the plethora of other ways people can be tragically unwelcoming in Catholic Churches everywhere. And I imagine them just deciding that it will be too hard to start all over with their child or children, and I imagine them deciding to never come back.
And then I imagine the difference it would make, if no matter their child or children’s behavior as they do their best, people go to them after Mass to say, “Your family is beautiful - it is so great to see you here. We need your children in our Church!” I imagine them receiving support and kindness, gentle smiles and solidarity.
The difference will be everything.
And that difference will make a huge difference in the future of our Church and the future of Catholicism. This is where we are - this is reality. Our society looks on many days to be crumbling to pieces, and the horror of the devil’s attack on families is bewildering in a way that leaves many of us utterly breathless. Our Church needs families keeping the Eucharist at the center of their hearts and homes. Our world needs families keeping the Eucharist at the center of their hearts and homes.
And you can help make that happen even in one small way. With a smile, with patience, with compassion, with an encouraging word. I promise you we need it, and I promise you that when it comes, we are grateful because we are doing our best.
In that moment, you can be the hands and feet of Christ to that family - the Christ who also looks at them with love and says with His whole heart, with His body, blood, soul, and divinity…
“I am so glad you are here.”
With gratitude,
Emily
