05/29/2026
*Jeannette’s and my gravestone (along with our three children’s “amazing grace stones”)
Jeannette faces a choice after being diagnosed with metastatic pancreatic cancer. Will the rest of her days on earth be death denying or life giving?
I wonder if we all face the same choice…
Reading through the Bible…2 Chronicles 7-9/John 11:1-29
…then he said to his disciples, “Let us go back to Judea. ”But Rabbi,” they said, “a short while ago the Jews there tried to stone you, and yet you are going back?” (John 11:7-8)
After a Sabbath healing in John 5, the authorities seek to kill Jesus because He calls God his own Father.
At the Feast of Tabernacles in John 7 after Jesus goes to Jerusalem and teaches in the Temple, the crowd and authorities attempt to arrest him, but fail because his time had not yet come.
At the Feast of Dedication in John 10, after Jesus claims that He is one with the Father, the leaders in Judea pick up stones to stone him for blasphemy.
Jesus could understandably want to deny His own imminent death out of fear. He chooses, instead, to give life out of faith. He goes back to Judea, even though He knows that is where Lazarus has died and where Jesus soon will die as well.
The disciples think that Jesus is denying Lazarus’ death. Instead, Jesus is defying it. Rather than giving in to Lazarus’ demise, He chooses to give life to him, instead.
Why? You tell me.
Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. (John 11:5)
Jesus’ love for Mary, Martha and Lazarus brings Him back to Judea, to Lazarus’ tomb. Jesus love for the rest of us brings Him all the way to the cross. He risks his life for Lazarus, He sacrifices His life for us…out of love.
Greater love has no man than this, that he would lay down his life for his friends. (John 15:13).
Writing…
My late wife Jeannette endures four different clinical (read experimental) trials. She chooses them when other standard of care treatments are no longer effective in slowing down her cancer.
She chooses those trials not out of fear. She chooses experimental treatments out of love for us, her family. She wants more time with us.
She also chooses to endure grueling treatments out of love for others. She hopes that the treatments, even if they don’t give life to her, may perhaps give life to someone else in the future.
*She has that hope, as do all the amazing doctors who treat her at NIH. She does not, they do not, deny death. They simply seek to give life (when given the funding to be able to do that. Who knows? Maybe some of that billion dollars a day we are spending on fighting Iran could be redirected towards fighting cancer).
Building…
Jeannette finishes her last clinical trial, just a few days prior to her death. She is, in a clinical trial sense, potentially giving life to others up to the very point of her death.
I hope that the same will be said of me when I die.
My name is already written in gravestone. The date, however, remains to be inscribed. Right up until that day, which I do not deny will come. Right up until that day, I want to give my life for others while here on earth. I want to do so, in the hopes that the One who claims to be the Resurrection and the Life (John 11:25), will grant life to me in Heaven.
I have a choice every day until I die, whether to deny my death out of fear or give life to others out of faith.
So do you…