06/20/2026
*Taken when the 45th president of the United States takes office January 20, 2017 (ABC News)
Reading through the Bible…Esther 1-2/Acts 5
Memucan spoke up in the council of the king and princes: “It’s not only the king that Queen Vashti has insulted, it’s all of us, leaders and people alike in every last one of King Xerxes’ provinces. The word’s going to get out: ‘Did you hear the latest about Queen Vashti? King Xerxes ordered her to be brought before him and she wouldn’t do it!’ When the women hear it, they’ll start treating their husbands with contempt. The day the wives of the Persian and Mede officials get wind of the queen’s brazenness, they’ll be out of control. Is that what we want, a country of angry women who don’t know their place? (Esther 1:16-18)
What do men want from women?
Memucan, one of King Xerxes advisors, assumes that men want women whom they can control…women who know their place. It doesn’t appear, from our passage, that he really knows his King.
When King Xerxes’ anger had cooled…he was having second thoughts about what Vashti had done and what he had ordered against her. (Esther 2:1)
When King Xerxes cools off, he starts to think about his queen. More than what Vashti fails to do once, he remembers all the things she does do.
Xerxes gets beyond worrying about what others might think about their relationship. Perhaps, he remembers, times spent with her alone. Perhaps, he starts to miss her, more than wanting to malign her.
Maybe the King realizes that he wants more than a mannequin. Maybe the King wants to shoot higher than a household servant.
We don’t know all of what Xerses wants from Vashti. We get a better idea, however, of what he gets from Esther.
In Esther, Xerxes gets another woman he can’t control. Vahsti doesn’t come when the King calls. Esther comes, when the King doesn’t call. Both disobey.
By the time Esther disobeys, Xerxes learns his lesson. He could banish her, even kill her, for coming when he hasn’t called. Instead, he lets Esther speak her mind.
Because the King listens to Esther, she literally saves his life, (revealing a plan to assasinate him). Because he listens, she also saves the lives of her people.
Writing…
I begin with a picture of two Presidents and their first ladies. They are not kings. Their wives are not queens. Still, let me draw some parallels.
We can’t know for sure what either President in the pictures wants from a First Lady. We can, through their public speeches, get some idea of the kind of women both presidents get.
The last time Ivanka speaks publicly is in early April. She mentions her husband “Donald” once. Most of the time she devotes to Jeffrey Epstein. She wants to make it clear that he is no friend of hers.
https://youtu.be/Aup-JfQZuqI?si=81NlOt8ZyiWQptRW
The last time Michelle speaks publicly happens just yesterday at the opening of the Obama Presidential Center. She devotes the first half of her speech to honoring her husband, singing the praises of former President of the United States Barack Obama.
https://youtu.be/v8mGupg83tQ?si=bV8uoO46LS3PTFFW
Watch both speeches. Then, ask yourself two questions?
What do each of these Presidents want from their first ladies?
What do each of them get?
Building…
Let me be honest, though. If ask me, before I get married at the age of 22, what I want from my first and only lady, I wouldn’t be able to tell you!
I grow up in a family of four boys. I don’t date. I barely even talk to girls. How can I know what I want from women, when I don’t know them?
I don’t know what I want when I get married. I can tell you, however, who I get.
In my late wife Jeannette, I find a woman of great beauty and that beauty runs deeper than moisturized skin deep.
Jeannette doesn’t change for me. She does, however, change with me. We make each other better.
She doesn’t have to speak up for her people. She does, ocassionally, find it necessary to speak up for our children. Tomorrow, on Father’s Day, I won’t know for sure if she makes me a good father. I will know, however, that she makes me a more responsive one.
I don’t know all of what Xerxes wants from a queen or two presidents might want from their First Ladies. I don’t even know for sure all of what I want from Jeannette when we get married.
I do know who I get. I do know who she gets too. We find in each other a partner who cares.
Today, I will be one of many celebrating the wedding of Brittany Y. Willingham & Shomari J. Tate at 3:00 at Dimnent Chapel. I can’t invite you. I can, however, invite you to ask.
What might Shomari want from Brittany?
We can’t know for sure. Still, I suspect it’s the same thing Brittany wants from Shomari. I think it’s what we all want from each other, isn’t it?
LOVE
I am hoping that they, on their wedding day, and the rest of us, in every day…
get it.