Wise Healing: A Broken Shackles Ministry

07/26/2024

05/19/2019

Healing is not on your agenda when you choose to hold onto the hurt.

07/27/2018

We are in control of how we feel. Our emotional state belongs to us, not anyone else. This includes how we deal with pain.

What we allow to get into our spirit becomes part of it. External stimuli will always be part of our surroundings, but how we react to what we experience is entirely up to us. People will say what they want to us in efforts to manipulate us to react...this can be positive or negative, depending on the circumstances. That's what they do. That's what they've always done.

I used to be guilty of saying that someone else made me angry. I've heard others say it. But where is the truth in that? If we believe that others are able to sway our feelings, that means that we gave away our power over our emotions to another person. Elizabeth Kenny, an Australian army nurse, was quoted as saying, "He who angers you controls you."

This can also be true of pain.

More than ninety percent of how we are treated by others, as well as how we treat others, comes in the form of words. Some people may not be aware of how powerful words are, but every single word, whether it is spoken or written, has meaning. For example, when a person speaks kind and soothing words to another, the intent is there. But the hearer makes his or her own determination on how to perceive those words...meaning that they choose how they feel...and then they formulate a response. Same situation applies when someone says something that is meant to be hurtful.

But how do we choose the way we feel?

By exercising control and not giving it away to someone else.

Many times it's not about us. It's about them. When a person lashes out or becomes mean-spirited, and starts to berate us with words that are meant to hurt us, it doesn't necessarily have to be about you at all. He or she might be going through something that they didn't share with you. This is the point where you choose how you feel and how you react.

Do your best not to take it personally.

10/19/2017

Transparency time...

I'm known for being straightforward. I don't sugarcoat, nor do I honeydip. I don't back-pedal, either. So when I tell you how I feel, I mean exactly what I say. Here's today's rant...

There's an elephant in the room, and many people have addressed it while others are in denial.

Racism.

I would be a fool to say that the social construct of racism does not exist. What gives it the driving force that it has is the number of people that give it importance. Subscribing to it is very immature and childish. It is taught and learned behavior. Enlightened individuals recognize the stupidity of it. But people fueled by hate and dissonance know which buttons to push, how hard to push them and how long.

I have too much in my DNA to side with just one group of people. I am a child of the world. So are many of the people I associated with, am friends with, and am related to. If you subscribe to the concept of race, there is one and only one race and it is called HUMAN. Let me give you an example of my genetic make-up, and if any of you can identify with part or all of it, then I consider you my cousin.

African (Tanzania, Kenya, Uganda, Rwanda, Burundi and South Sudan, Djibouti, Eritrea, Ethiopia and Somalia, Comoros, Mauritius and Seychelles, Reunion and Mayotte, Mozambique and Madagascar, Malawi, Zambia and Zimbabwe, Egypt, Sudan, and South Sudan...virtually the entire continent);

South Asian (including China, Afghanistan, Bangladesh, Bhutan, India, Maldives, Nepal, Pakistan, and Sri Lanka and Japan);
Russian, Irish, Scottish, English (including Great Britain, and the Isle of Man), German, Danish, Norwegian, Swedish, Finnish, Western Asian (Turkey, Syria, Iraq, Iran, Saudi Arabia, United Arab Emirates, Oman, Yemen, Lebanon, Cyprus, Jordan, Bahrain, Kuait, Qatar, Israel, and Palestine);

Eastern and Southeastern Europe (including Albania, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Bulgaria, Croatia, Greece, Kosovo, Macedonia, Montenegro, Romania, Serbia, and Slovenia), Polynesian (West Papua, Papua New Guinea, Melanesia, Indonesia, and indigenous Australia);

Filipino, and Native American ((Navajo, Apache, Eskimo), which also included South America.

DNA doesn't lie.

Consider this...the word "race" in another context is a contest. During a contest, the goal is to win and to defeat your opponents by outrunning or outperforming them. But while trying to defeat your opponents, you might be tempted to look over your shoulder to see if they are catching up with you and eventually pass you. And if you expend most of your energy trying to defeat the others, you end up slowing down and eventually stopping to catch your breath. Then you might just realize that we are all on the same team, living in the same world, and should be working towards a common goal.

There are individuals that thrive on the destruction of other human beings. The illusion of power and enforcing that illusion is what keeps them in positions that allow them to continue using it. Fear in the hands of these people is an extremely powerful tool.

But love casts fear out.

DNA makes us related.

Love makes us family.

10/17/2017

It would be wise to be very careful of how you treat people. You don't know everyone's story, and might be completely unaware of their circumstances, connections, status, or even their position. People may be going through more than you realize, and it can take just one time to set off a series of events that you may wish had never happened.

04/23/2017

Let me ask you this...If you asked God to forgive you for something and He kept punishing you, would that question your faith in Him as a forgiving God? The last time I checked, God doesn't hold grudges. But people do it all the time. Just look around you. Individuals with vengeful spirits are all over the place. "I'm gonna get you back" seems to be a popular mindset, which seems to be right up there with 'I'm gonna get you before you get me", which clearly suggests that a person feels like someone has it out for them, and they want to do a pre-emptive strike.

You have the right to be angry, but you don't have the right to continue punishing someone that hurt you just because you are angry. No disrespect, but I see no growth in that kind of behavior.

Grudges leave smudges.

Maybe you think the person feels that they got away with what they did to you, so you made it your mission in life to keep punishing them until you decide to stop. If there is ever a victory on your part due to your actions, it will be an empty one. Spending a great deal of your time finding ways to make that person miserable makes you look even more miserable. Destroying clothes...keying that person's car...calling the place of employment to tell anyone and everyone that will listen about the pain that you were caused, putting that person on blast on social media and passing out flyers...none of that will erase the act that caused you the pain in the first place, but it won't help you to get what it is that you really need, which is a sense of peace.

What are you, a teenage high schooler?

Sorry to say, that's not the behavior of a mature adult. And if you think that any of this will make you feel better, don't. Putting your pain on display for the world to see is not cute. There is a saying: hurt people hurt people. But hurt people who have been helped, help people.

You don't have to hurt if you don't want to. I'm not saying "Get over it, it's in the past," even though I could easily say that. But what I am saying is to find a better way to deal with your pain instead of going nuclear and destroying everyone and everything in your immediate path. I've recently said that fighting fire with fire destroys both combatants (even though someone took it a bit to the left and started talking what seemed like physics, which was not the point I was trying to make), and can leave you in a pile of ashes.

No one that I know is getting any younger. Considering that, we still have opportunities to learn and to grow.

Why not do both?

04/23/2017

Take the 30-day Spiritual Detox Challenge!

1. No arguing
2. No bringing up the past
3. No complaining
4. No negative speech whatsoever, regardless of subject matter
5. No yelling
6. No angry words or actions
7. No snapping at people
8. No self-indulgent or self-destructive behavior

Feel free to add anything to this list that would help you to remove spiritual toxins from your soul!

Set a reminder on your phone to sound off daily for the next thirty days.

Read one inspirational or strength-giving scripture that will help keep you focused on detoxing (this challenge is NOT religion specific).

Give thanks daily for your life and everything in it (helps to be appreciative).

Find positive ways to address negative situations.

If at the end of thirty days you feel better inside, do the challenge for another thirty days!

Wise healing, people.

04/23/2017

A person that holds a grudge is like a hoarder. Little by little, he or she builds a collection of things, whether they are useful or trivial, over a period of time, until free movement is restricted or brought almost completely to a halt. A grudge can start out small, and have a large amount of smaller things added onto it until the proverbial mountain out of a molehill develops. There may be no place for reconciliation nor forgiveness in the heart of the grudge holder until some of the things that he or she is clinging to have been let go.

Proof of that grudge can be in the form of conversations during which the offense is brought up on more than one occasion, or even unseemly behavior that may borderline on childishness, such as outward hostility displayed towards another person. Scorekeeping may be another noticeable trait, wherein the grudge holder makes it a point to not let another individual live down the alleged offense, or list of various offenses. Also, the grudge holder may refuse to accept an apology from the offender with a possible lack of belief in his or her sincerity.

Grudges can hinder emotional growth, as well as progress in other aspects of life. Learning to rid oneself of a grudge may be difficult, but may also be possible. Not for nothing, the object of the grudge may be oblivious to it and unaffected by it in some instances.

If you are a grudge holder and wish to have better quality of life, consider letting go of what holds you back. Others are living their lives...there is no reason why you should not be able to live yours.

04/23/2017

There will come a day when the things you're able to do right now are things that you'll no longer be able to do. So why waste life with hatred, grudges, clinging to the past (good or bad), arguments, selfishness, greed, and things that don't do you or anyone else any type of good anyway? The things that really don't matter that you might tend to hold on to can weigh you down, so just let them go. Sometimes you just have to come to the realization that backing off is the best course of action and a step towards gaining peace of mind.

04/23/2017

Some grudges are like scabs on a sore. You pick at it and pick at it, and each time you take off a small part of it, you feel pain. Then you finally take off the entire scab and there's pink skin underneath that's exposed to the possibility of becoming infected. But the healing process of that same sore may take a short while, or it might be longer, depending on how often you pick at it, until one day you notice that it's gone and it doesn't hurt anymore.

You can choose to hurt by revisiting the pain, or you can choose to heal by letting go of it. It isn't always that cut and dried, but the ability to move past the point of the hurt is an individual undertaking, which may be difficult for some, and not as difficult for others. The person that you may have a grudge against may be completely unaware of how you feel; then again, they may be cognizant of your feelings and be indifferent towards both you and your emotional state. In the end, you are in control of what you allow to affect your emotions.

04/23/2017

After a while, grudges and lack of forgiveness just get kind of tired. One grows weary of hearing about things that he or she did in the past that the other person seems to be unable to let go of. Being reminded of pain you caused, money spent unwisely, a sin committed, a bruise inflicted, a mistake you made, a cruel word spoken...If the person that was on the receiving end of these things felt bad when they were initially done, imagine how the person might feel when he or she is not given a chance to live it down. The grudge holder becomes no better then the transgressor. And the cycle continues.

04/23/2017

The family bond should not be broken by jealousy, misunderstanding, unnecessary fighting, pride, failure to apologize for causing pain, disappointment, or for any other reason than death. When you love someone enough to consider that person a member of your family, whether he or she is a blood relative or not, nothing should ever come between that, up to and including lapses in time that may have kept you apart, petty arguments, or a grudge that you held against another person and you ended up forgetting why you held the grudge in the first place.

Love is the tie that binds. It is stronger than steel. It slows itself down long enough for you to catch it after giving chase. It surpasses all pain. It does not disguise itself. It makes itself available to anyone that wishes to have it. It keeps its promises. It never transforms into any other thing, especially hate. It does not influence bad behavior or thoughts. It is the center of many, if not all, beneficial bonds, and without it, it is doubtful that much would be accomplished. It is, and always has been, eternal.

So long story short, with all due respect and for lack of a better word, get over yourself, suck it up, scratch your backside, let it go, and live in the now.

And if you think this song is about you, it probably is.

Enough said.

Feel free to share this with a grudge holder. They might need a wake-up call.