02/17/2026
God is Faithful
By Briana Perez
There’s so much to say about how God moved during the 2025 mission trip to Costa Rica, and even more to say about how God has moved throughout my entire life.
I knew I wanted to go on a mission trip for a while now, but I also know how I get when I’m out of my comfort zone, so I didn’t know if I was really all in. I’d say about 30 days before leaving for Costa Rica, it really hit me that I was going to another country with a group of strangers.
For those that know me (and there aren’t that many people), I don’t really do group activities or socialize with people I don’t know ... plus I have RBF (if you don’t know what that is, ask my husband, Carlos) and that’s not very conducive to sharing the good news of Jesus. I’m more of a fade into the background and pray no one talks to me type of person.
So, 30 days out, it really hits me that I’m going on this mission trip. A normal person is probably excited and is prayerful about it; however, I’m not wired that way.
I was diagnosed many years ago with a type of OCD that can make my thoughts very obsessive, as well as make some actions compulsive. That being said, I packed, then unpacked, then repacked approximately 50 million times. I also began watching countless videos on how to make small talk like a typical person. It’s safe to say I fully stressed myself out about this mission trip.
The thing is, I felt something internally happening during the few weeks leading up to the trip. Yes, I felt my normal chaotic self, but I also felt a heaviness, and I just knew that there was something deeply spiritual about this trip.
I felt a strong pull to just say “YES” to whatever was asked of me, leading up to the trip and throughout the trip. So, when the trip leader asked all of us in the group if any of us would be willing to lead a devotional, I immediately said yes. I also instantly freaked out, because I don’t enjoy public speaking, and I really didn’t know anyone other than my husband and the Pinheiros on the trip. However, I gave my Yes, and I decided I was going to stick with it.
A few weeks leading up to the trip, I began having sleep issues. Almost every night, I would wake up between 3 a.m. and 4 a.m. and wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. I began having vivid dreams that would stir my mind. Unfortunately, because of my OCD, I would also use that time to research my sleep issues, which would lead to more sleep issues. I was exhausted for weeks leading up to the mission trip and didn’t feel like I was in the best position to go.
After talking with a friend and praying through the struggle, the day arrived, and it was too late to change my mind. I arrived at the airport and found myself amongst unfamiliar faces. The doubt, fear, and panic began to set in. Why did I agree to a mission trip with strangers? I’m not a people person. What if I have to have small talk with them? Am I even saved enough to be sharing the gospel with these people? I was spiraling by the time our plane landed in Costa Rica. At this point, I hadn’t really spoken to anyone I didn’t know, and I tried to be as invisible as possible.
Shortly after arriving, we were bused to the church that we would be partnering with, and in an instant, everything inside of me stopped. Every thought. Every fear. Every feeling of panic disappeared. I found myself greeting strangers, holding people’s babies, praying publicly, and sharing how God saved me from myself.
I know it was God, because I know who I was before that trip, and I know who I am after that trip. The only explanation of how I can go from wanting to be invisible and not talk to anyone, then to publicly praying, hugging strangers, and sharing the goodness of God was a complete and total God thing.
One of the most meaningful parts of the mission trip was meeting a man named Bill. I believe it was midway through the trip when I met Bill. He was sitting alone eating breakfast, and because God had been completely transforming me by this point, I walked over and asked if I could sit with him. The conversation that would take place over the next hour would be life-changing for me.
Over that hour, I would hear Bill’s testimony, and he would hear mine. Through tears, laughter, and more tears, I began opening up about the darkest moments in my life, like when I attempted su***de or when my marriage fell apart. Bill listened and showed me what a Godly community meant. He pointed me to God and reminded me that although my past is riddled with chaos and sin, God still sees me. God still thinks I’m worthy. God still loves me, and God still has a plan for me.
My past has seasons where I struggled with severe depression and OCD, a failed marriage, seasons filled with suicidal ideations, and a season where I attempted su***de. My past has all of those things, but it also has a story of redemption.
God saved my life on that bathroom floor when I decided I didn’t want to live anymore. God saved my marriage and brought my husband and me back together. God restores my mind daily.
I can’t sit here today and say that God has fully healed me, because He hasn’t. I still struggle with depression and OCD. Sometimes my husband and I have to fight to hold it together. But what I can say is that my faith is stronger than it ever has been.
What I can say is that I haven't had a suicidal thought in years. I also believe that if God chooses to not make my life easier by removing my mental health issues or making my marriage easy or the countless other things that simply make life hard, then HE IS STILL FAITHFUL.
Going on that mission trip completely changed my life, and even though I know I will definitely be going on more, I will never forget my first one. God showed up. He always does. ❤️
Northwood Church has four trips this year, and Briana is going on at least one. Is God calling you to go on a mission trip? Sign up today at www.northwood.church/missiontrips
