Renewing the Ruined

12/04/2025

“Held by God in the Sorrow”

It’s really important to feel the sorrow and sadness as a result of betrayal or abuse of any kind. It’s part of the letting go and grieving process.

As you go through this stage, remember to go hard on the injustice but very easy on yourself. What happened to you was extremely painful, wrong and unfair and it’s good to express the injustice of how you were treated. On the other side of that, we want to encourage you not to blame, shame or guilt trip yourself because of what was done to you. It isn’t your fault. The betrayer or abuser is the one who made the choice to harm and deceive you.

Don’t get caught up in their web; side with them; or blame yourself nor agree with them in any way that you played a part in their choices. They are the ones who chose to harm you.

You are now responsible to heal and feel. So, feel the sorrow and the sadness, express the anger and release it to the Lord. God promises to comfort you as you heal - “You who are my Comforter in sorrow, my heart is faint within me” (Jeremiah‬ ‭8‬:‭18‬).
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds”
‭‭(Psalms‬ ‭147‬:‭3‬).

11/26/2025

Your inner turmoil needs peace”

In Colossians 3:15, the Apostle Paul encourages his fellow brothers and sisters in Christ about peace. He instructs them to let it rule in their hearts. The word “let” in this verse is translated in the Greek as “to be an umpire, to decide, to determine, to rule, to control.”

Paul is instructing you and I to let peace be like an umpire, determining what can stay and what should go in our hearts, just like a real umpire at a baseball game does. They call the shots. They determine whether someone is “out” or whether someone is “safe”.

You’ve experienced a lot of pain and have already gone through so much, so it’s imperative that you guard your heart. Choose to allow God’s peace to be your guide. Let it act as an umpire for you. If something comes into your heart and mind today and it’s stirring more pain, anxiety, depressing thoughts, fear, or anger let God’s peace overrule it and guide it out.

The following verse in Colossians 3:14 says to let God’s Word dwell in you richly. The word “let” in this verse is translated as “to dwell in, to influence”. So as you allow peace to usher out what doesn’t belong in your heart and mind today then immediately let God’s Word dwell in you and influence the rest of your actions today.

Let it His Word replace all of the inner turmoil with His peace and goodness. His Word is richly filled with precious promises made just for you.

10/08/2025

10/02/2025

“We need the Comforter”

Pain from what we experience due to betrayal trauma or abuse leaves us feeling so alone. When we look around us, we typically don’t see our closest friends or family members experiencing what we’re going through, which is a good thing, but these heavy emotions can leave us feeling alone because we don’t see others going through what we’re going through. We’re less likely to confide in others since we feel they may not understand nor would know how to help us.

Ecclesiastes 4:1 says, “….I saw the tears of the oppressed and they have no comforter. Power was on the side of their oppressors and they have no comforter.” This is a true statement BUT only if a person doesn’t know the Lord because 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles..”

God is the God of all comfort. He is the One Who comforts us in our pain and sorrows. We don’t have to be alone in our pain because we can confide in Him and ask Him to help us and to heal us.

We need the Comforter! He’s not Someone to consider; He’s the One we need. We need to connect with Him so we can properly heal and not feel alone.

Call on the Comforter today.

08/29/2025

“Sin is Pleasurable”

Moses’ faith was honorably mentioned in Hebrews 11:24-25 because he chose hardship over the passing pleasures of sin. He could’ve chosen a life of wealth and pleasures but he chose God’s plan instead.

Undoubtedly, when someone has an affair or chooses po*******hy over us, they are choosing a life of pleasure over God’s plan.

Yes, those sins are appealing and bring pleasure, even Proverbs 9:17 further illustrates this -“Stolen waters (pleasures) are sweet and bread eaten in secret is pleasant”, but these pleasurable sins only lead to destruction. They will cripple our faith and lead us away from the Lord and what He’s given us.

We understand the incredible pain when someone chooses these sins over choosing you. Their decisions will eventually lead to more harm for them. But you can continue to walk in God’s will. He has good plans for you!

Seek healing and ask Him to guide your next steps.

08/16/2025

“Forgiving an offense”

There’s a verse in Proverbs that says, “He who covers and forgives an offense seeks love…” (Proverbs‬ ‭17‬:‭9‬).
Covering an offense is choosing to forgive someone who hurt us. The word “cover” in this verse means to “hide or conceal”. We’re essentially not holding that particular sin against someone. We’re not bringing it up again, once it’s forgiven, nor holding it over their head, so to speak.

But if that person repeats the same sin and even taunts you and says, “You have to forgive me. The Bible says so. And you can’t bring it back up” then you can still choose to forgive but I would strongly set a boundary and consider not being in a close relationship with this person. They are monopolizing the Word of God, manipulating you and even being spiritually abusive.

Yes, we’re commanded to forgive others but we’re not obligated to let them harm us over and over. We can protect ourselves by not remaining in close fellowship with them.

Remember, love does cover sins, but love also protects and sets boundaries.

08/13/2025

“Longing for Safety”

The Psalmist writes, “Because of the devastation of the afflicted, and because of the groaning of the needy, now I will arise,” says the Lord; “I will place him in the safety for which he longs”
‭‭(Psalms‬ ‭12‬:‭5‬ ).

Anytime we’ve been sorely hurt, this pain creates a need for safety. The word “safety” in this verse is translated as “deliverance, rescue, welfare and victory”. We want to be delivered or rescued in some way from the pain, and we want eventual victory for our situation. We also want good to come from the pain we’re feeling.

The hurt you’ve been feeling most likely has caused you to “cry out” for relief, whether literally or internally. If you have, then we want to encourage you to direct your cries to the Lord. There’s a reason for this and it’s found in Psalms 34:17, ““When the righteous cry [for help], the Lord hears and rescues them from all their distress and troubles.”

God longs to give you relief and safety. He wants to rescue and deliver you!

05/20/2025

Self flattery says, “But what I did wasn’t bad!”

Ever heard those words from the person who’s harmed you emotionally, mentally, or physically? To a harmful person, it’s common for them to point out the sins of others but justify their own. They tend to be the exception in their minds but all they’re doing is flattering themselves.

When a person doesn’t fear God and respect Him and His ways, they’ll always default to exalting themselves. They’ll believe what they’re doing isn’t that bad and justify their actions. I heard a testimony of a woman sharing what her partner did to her and he said, “I didn’t abuse you because I never hit you” but yet he strangled her. I’ve heard those that cheated on their partner say, “It was just an accident”; “It was a mistake”; “I deserve to be happy.” These are all clear examples of how a harmful person will always justify their wrong behavior. They’re so deceived that they actually believe what they’re doing isn’t bad.

Charles Spurgeon said, “He who makes little of God makes much of himself. They who forget adoration fall into adulation. The eyes must see something, and if they admire not God they will flatter self.” Psalms 36 goes on to say that due to their self flattery, they actually plan evil and think they’ll never get caught.

So look out for those that flatter you because most of the time it started with self flattery. Look out for people who minimize flaws or weaknesses, who lack humility or empathy, who seem to bolster themselves and seem egotistical or focused on themselves, who lack the ability to self reflect and take responsibility. Be aware of these type of people and pray and ask the Lord for discernment, wisdom and insight when meeting new people.