I Was But God

11/12/2025

This publication has been a very long journey! I originally published in June of 2023 under a pen name. However some legal issue were pointed out to me after publication was allowed by the old publisher. I quickly pulled the book off all markets. Took books back from people I had given them to. And worked through a legal battle with the publisher. I found a new publisher, who is amazing and wonderful to me!! And here we are, 2 1/2 years later finally getting ready for a real launch and I get to use my name!

I had made this page in 2023 and so here I am checking through the old page to make sure it’s ready for a launch and I found this post I made about my purpose in writing. This hasn’t changed. This purpose is still my goal and only point in this book being written.

I know you are wondering, what is the book about? What’s the point of it? Why did you write it? I started writing it because God called me to, it has stories of my life and the lessons I have learned. The But God… moments and lessons.

However as I wrote these things down I read the story of the women at the well in John chapter 4, it’s a good story and I kept reading. Then down a few more verses there was verse 42 and it hit me hard!! In that verse I found my purpose of writing this book. My hope and goal is that anyone who reads I Was… But God…will be sparked, pushed, propelled, and energized to go meet Him for themselves and know that He is truly the one Savior of the world. Not because of what I said in this book but because you took the time to go meet Him and found Him for yourself in His book!

08/12/2023

The big bad cattle boss on the farm is getting taught who’s really in charge of this place tonight! 😂🤣😂

☝️ that is how I captioned this video on my personal feed last night. It was funny, it was cute to watch the cute little kitten seemingly scare the dog who bosses every animal on the farm around. Willow, works the cattle, pigs and chickens. She has killed groundhogs and yes cats before. She makes sure our older larger dog, knows she is in charge and Bailey submits to her regularly. But this little kitten just put Willow in her place.

Today I went for a bike ride to the quiet beautiful lake 6 miles from my house. When I got there Phil Wickham was worshiping on my ear buds so I walked down to the lake and worshiped with him. Hands lifted high singing loudly (there was no one else around).

When God spoke to my heart, “why are you acting like Willow?”

Me: what?

In my heart once again: “you are acting like Willow. You are very powerful, you have past experiences to remind yourself of the power you possess inside because of Me dwelling inside you. You know what I can do and you can do with Me by your side. And yet you’re scared of the little tiny kittens in life that you could kill with one bite. Why are you acting like Willow?”

Me: hmm…

Today I want to encourage you with my lesson today, don’t act like Willow. If you have Jesus in your heart you have more power then you can imagine. Don’t let the little kittens of life smack you around! Put the kittens in their place.

I know some things are bigger than kittens. And in this life they seem like lions not kittens. I completely understand this! I have several lions in my life right now. And most days it feels like they are attacking from all sides. Yesterday at 10 a.m. I found myself sighing heavy and mumbling, is this day done yet? Can I go home and go to bed yet?

But whatever you are facing today, no matter how big it is in our earthly view, to the God who created the universe, who dwells inside you they all look like little kittens. It’s time we call for the real help we need, “Dear God please defeat these silly little kittens who are trying to slap me around.”It’s time to rise up with a roar and say no more! You’re not slapping me around anymore! Don’t let the evil of this world teach you who is in charge here as I saw Willow do last night, bowing down to this silly little thing. You stand up and show the kittens that are determined to slap you around exactly who really is in charge around here. It isn’t the evil of this world. We are allowing it to be because we are scared of the kittens. It is the Lion of Judah who is really in charge here!

Proverbs 28:1 – “The wicked flee when no one pursues, but the righteous are bold as a lion.”

Revelation 5:5 Then one of the elders said to me, “Do not weep! See, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, has triumphed. He is able to open the scroll and its seven seals.”

07/20/2023

I was excited to move forward with my book launch, but God knew better.
I know you all have been waiting and messaging me and wanting to get ahold of the book “I Was… But God…” however last weekend’s conference brought to light some pretty major issues with my book.

Long story but God definitely directed my paths and has brought me to a new place. So after much research, many emails, zoom calls and much time in prayer this week, I have pulled my book from my publisher and am working on getting connected to a new publisher. I have sent the manuscript in to what I hope is my new publisher. My prayer is it will once again be on the market by the end of the year.

Good news is the new publisher says I can use my real name and I should own it! It’s my story, my book! Own it!

And if you already have a copy you apparently, according to my old publisher, have a “hard to find” book, so you are special!

Thank you all for your support in this new adventure God is leading me on! I plan to keep posting on here little quotes and encouragements from the book and updates!

07/15/2023

I am having so much fun! Met amazing ladies and made new friends! I have learned so so much! Some major adjustments in the plan to launch and sell books coming! There is SOOO much to learn!!

07/14/2023

I am trying to learn everything I can about this publishing a book adventure and figure out what the next step is this weekend at the SpeakUp conference in Grand Rapids! What are you up to this weekend?

06/30/2023

“Everything we see, touch, smell, hear and taste shows His mighty loving ability to do anything. Just the fact that we can see, feel, smell, hear and taste cries out to the evidence of a Creator who is in the habit of giving good and perfect gifts that make our human lives better, whether we love Him or not.”
But God… chapter 1

06/29/2023

I know you are wondering, what is the book about? What’s the point of it? Why did you write it? I started writing it because God called me to, it has stories of my life and the lessons I have learned. The But God… moments and lessons.

However as I wrote these things down I read the story of the women at the well in John chapter 4, it’s a good story and I kept reading. Then down a few more verses there was verse 42 and it hit me hard!! In that verse I found my purpose of writing this book. My hope and goal is that anyone who reads I Was… But God…will be sparked, pushed, propelled, and energized to go meet Him for themselves and know that He is truly the one Savior of the world. Not because of what I said in this book but because you took the time to go meet Him and found Him for yourself in His book!

06/27/2023

I am loving my current Bible study time! As I read I remember certain verses I used in the book, so I go back through the book to find the references! But God is not slow as some count slowness! Today as I read Exodus 24 I can’t help but notice that Moses and the elders were called to climb up the mountain to meet God, when they got there they had to wait 6 days at which point God called Moses up even further and kept him for 40 days and nights. as I read it I wondered if I could have been patient enough to sit there waiting for 6 days and then another 40 days! I am pretty sure I would have gotten annoyed and wanted to wander back down the hill to take care of things I had left behind. To me in my instant satisfaction lifestyle I would have felt like I was wasting my time! I had better things to do! But then God took me to another verse, Deuteronomy 7:22-23

“The Lord your God will clear away these nations before you little by little; you will not be able to put an end to them quickly, for the wild beast would grow to numerous for you. but the Lord your God will deliver them before you”

So,waiting on the Lord’s timing is always the best timing! He has a plan and reason for the delays we face today. He is chasing away the wild beasts that will consume us if we go to fast. So let’s sit together and wait for God to clear the way, wait for God to allow us time to acclimate to the climate up on the mountain. Let’s sit and patiently wait because we know God is not slow as some count slowness but is patient not want any to perish, 2 Peter 3:7-9.

He knows better then me what I need and when I should have it so I will stay on the mountain top gazing at His glory and wait for Him to call me to come further up the mountain or tell me it’s time to go back down to do all the things that need to be done. But for now I wait and enjoy His presence!

06/27/2023

The same God who used all the evil done against Joesph in the Bible is still in the business of using what others mean for evil for His good purposes. Doesn’t make going through the evil easier or painless but it gives hope.