01/31/2024
The Lord gave me a word a few days ago bc seasonal depression is definitely a thing….the constant rain or winter solstice causes major dread. When you’re already on the struggle bus and keep experiencing loss after loss, with the recent passing of my dear Uncle. So I woke up a few days ago…. I said to myself it’s going to be another gully washer of a day. I got tickled about the word gully washer. Bc it’s not something you hear very often and random! So yesterday I was so overwhelmed and bc I am a highly sensitive person and I feel so deeply(empath issues) I have had a few days of feeling extremely overstimulated and overwhelmed to the point that I didn’t sleep and didn’t eat all day yesterday. We all know that not eating and not sleeping will magnify whatever we’re feeling and multiply it times a thousand. That’s exactly when Satan loves to attack right?! Jesus in the wilderness being tempted always comes to mind when I feel this way! The emotional triggers he was throwing at me…led me to a huge pity party and at this point, it’s a rager!! So as I am driving down the interstate I start listening to an Elevation Church sermon by Pastor Steven Furtick….One of the words he says in his opening prayer was……”Gully washing!” So I said Okay Lord, you have my attention. Then he said the scripture that he would be preaching from is Psalm 144:1……I stopped the sermon and started hyperventilating and crying so hard that I am pretty sure was my breaking point(This Psalm was Dane’s life verse!!!😭😳). I calmed down as I started praying and began listening again…..he then starts talking about his anniversary coming up and mentioned that him and his wife have these nicknames for each other saved as their contact info in their phones. He said that when his wife Holly calls or texted him, “Queen of my heart,” shows up….. and that’s something Dane always called me! The Lord knew exactly what I needed although it hurts and it’s hard to look inward and take our brokenness and sin to him….he’s the only one that can heal it but we have to give it to him. He leads us to repentance and repentance needs to be a constant in our lives! It’s nothing to be ashamed of bc shame is one of the many things that was nailed to the cross for us!!! Self pity or insecurity is pride wearing a mask and it’s okay to be real with Jesus. After that release a gully washing of his grace and mercy flooded my heart. I’m eating and definitely getting some much needed rest tonight! I am posting the link to the Furtick message in the comments! I was asked to be a guest speaker on the i ask podcast at GCF this past Friday….it’s not a coincidence that we recorded the day after my Uncle Wayne stepped into his eternal home in Heaven. I pray it speaks to someone’s heart that may be in a season of grief and loss.
We've all experienced the loss of a loved one, be it a family member or a friend. When that happens, what follows is an onslaught of emotions that we must learn to navigate. We are forced to face a new life without that person, and to be honest, it's just hard. In today's episode, we are joined by M...
