04/06/2025
My father once told me, "If they hurt you, forgive them, but don't ever forget what they've done to you." It's a phrase that lingers in my mind whenever I meet someone new. Yet, sometimes it feels exhausting. There's this ache, this weight, when you pour kindness into someone only to feel the sting of betrayal. It's painful when you see the beauty in them, but all they give back are hidden daggers.
One day, I couldn't hold it in anymore. "Father, do they truly deserve my forgiveness?" | asked. He paused, folding his newspaper-a daily ritual of his, reading with his morning coffee. With a soft smile, he replied, "Child, everyone deserves forgiveness. If they hurt you once, forgive. If they hurt you again, offer another chance. But if it happens a third time, then it's yourself you must forgive."
Confused, I stared at him, a silent question hanging between us. He chuckled at my puzzled look, pressing a candy into my hand. He held both my hands in his own and gently explained, "Forgive yourself for believing in them, only to face disappointment. Forgive yourself for giving too much trust. Forgive yourself for hoping again when you thought it might turn things around. And above all, free yourself-from resentment, from revenge, from the ghosts of the past."
The next morning, I found him standing in front of my mother, tears streaming down his face. He'd just been betrayed by a friend of ten years. When I asked if he hated him now, he smiled through his tears and shook his head, "I don't have room in my heart for hatred. I refuse to let it weigh me down. I've forgiven him, but that doesn't mean l've forgotten. Someday, when he sees me smiling, even after what he's done, he'll understand who carried the heavier burden."
Dabbing his eyes with the handkerchief l'd gifted him, he added, "The greatest gift you can give to someone who hurt you is to let them watch you live a life unburdened. Let them see you rise, thriving, unaffected by their harm. We only get one life, so don't waste it on those who once carved scars on your heart. Show them what they lost; show them how they unknowingly helped you become stronger."
It was then I realized, if it weren't for his words, I might still be trapped, haunted by wounds that were never my fault. His wisdom taught me that forgiveness isn't always for the one who hurt us; sometimes, it's the greatest gift we can give to ourselves.
🎨credit to the artist via Pinterest
