05/29/2026
While I sit here pondering what to put in my testimony, there is one glaring part that stands out to me. Before I get to that one thing, let's start here. I spent 34 years of my life, caught up in active drug addiction and criminal behavior. I accept responsibility for my actions and truthfully all the evil I participated in was born in my own heart. I spent many years destroying all of my family relationships as well as those with the people in my community. I was in real bo***ge. I certainly didn't deserve to be rescued. Honestly, I deserved death.
Fast forward to right at a year ago. I found myself at a rock bottom. A place that many of us have to come to in order to find some kind of finality. Mine looked an awful lot like certain death if I didn't change. Either at the hands of other people, drugs, or even at my own hands. The last one was the final straw for me. I couldn't take my own life. I couldn't possibly leave those I love with that kind of pain. I had to reach out one more time.
This time reaching out turned out completely different than other times. There was a solution. Recovery Soldiers Ministries in Grundy County Tennessee. I had never been to a rehab or a program so I figured if there was ever going to be a chance for sobriety, that this was it. All I have ever racked up in 34 years of addiction was 6 sober days in a county detox. Drugs were my culture. I never considered a way out until this development.
I left Florida for Tennessee after being up for a week or so on a really bad bender. Pretty much everything I could consume was on the narcotic menu. I was about to take possession of a large amount of drugs in just a couple of days and I knew if I didn't get out of town that I was going to be a dead man. I could literally feel it. Death. Looming.
The amount of opioids and benzos I was regularly taking put me in serious danger of death, so I was taken to a hospital once I arrived at the Grundy campus. Medical detox. More like a living hell on Earth. It was time for me to reap what I had sown. I spent almost 2 weeks in the E.R. with a couple of those days being in I.C.U. due to the amount of seizures I was having. The pain and agony were unlike anything I have ever experienced. I hope and pray I never forget it. Ever!
This brings me back to my original thought. As I layed there in that hospital bed, in unimaginable pain, I remember begging God to just kill me as the constant waves of pain would rush over me. I cried out to Him and He heard me. His answer came with an unexpected relief. Not one of me dropping dead on the spot but rather the beginning of a new life. His words were simple. " I am going to kill you Son, but not like you want me to. I am going to kill you so you can finally live."
For one whole year He has done just that. Killed that old sinful, addicted, lost, and hopeless man and breathed new life into me. My identity is secure. My hope is restored. I owe all of it to Jesus. My rock. My fortress. My Lord. My Savior!
I leave you with this. My life verse. Proverbs 16:7- When a man's ways please the Lord, even his enemies will be at peace with him. Praise The Lord!
