08/29/2026
14 Pentecost 2026 Jeremiah 15:Psalm 26: Romans 12:9-21; Matthew 16:21-28
When I was trying to help someone get back on their feet, the person seemed to slide back into what is called 'the dark side'. I tried to follow the advice of someone who went through that 'dark side' experience and who told me, 'look for a spark of conscience' and you are not wasting your time or resources. I did that, and saw a spark of conscience in the person. There was that side of the person that made you wonder how in the world could someone like that get into the dark world where illegal activity abounds, when one person is helped with toiletries another person steals them.
Frustrated by my attempts to help this person as well as the mother and siblings, I was told by a lady who experienced the 'dark side' and was dealing with staying on the 'bright side'. 'Sometimes you have to love at a distance. Help by staying in the background and let the person figure it out for themselves. The more you interfere with the best of intentions the more harm you do.'
Paul challenges us today at the core of our being when he says love one another with mutual affection; rejoice in hope, be patient in suffering and persevere in prayer; bless those who persecute you, bless and do not curse them; do not repay evil with evil. Then he says 'IF it is possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.' Then the words '...never avenge yourself, but leave room for the wrath of God..........yet 'do not overcome evil by evil but overcome evil with good.'
The words 'IF IT IS POSSIBLE, SO FAR AS IT DEPENDS ON YOU........are words that justify our loving at a distance and leaving room for God who is Truth to operate. Sometimes we as humans in our efforts to follow the commands Paul tells us to follow can result in our getting in the way of what God who is Truth has in store for the person who has gone to the dark side. Our 'neurotic desire to save' can be an enabling factor, one that feeds into the dark side of the one we think we are loving and helping. People do manipulate charitable people. That is where we have to have the courage to 'love at a distance' so that our love is less about us and more about the other person recovering the truth of their own life.
But, I was told 'are we not our brothers keeper?' It says so in the bible. True, but we are not our brother. Remember, Jesus loved Judas at a distance. When Judas left the Last Supper and went out and took his own life, Jesus did not tell Judas I will be and do what you want, instead Jesus loved Judas at a distance. Jesus is our best example. He loved Judas but did not take upon himself Judas' decision which was different than how Peter responded after denying he knew Jesus not once but three times.
The Psalmist in verse 2 cries out to the Lord 'Test me, O Lord and try me; examine my heart and my mind.' If there comes a time when we must love at a distance, perhaps tune out the cries of the one who is trying to manipulate us, we can have the confidence of knowing the Lord, the Truth, will know our true minds and hearts. Loving at a distance is not abandoning Paul's challenge. In fact it is following Paul's challenge because our minds and and hearts long for the day the person whom we love will come to his or her senses, get help and choose the right path.
There is nothing more painful than to watch someone we love, someone we know and care for not use their talents and not seeing them living a sober, productive and peaceful life. Sometimes we may feel we are at fault for their choices,but then we pray the prayer of the Psalm “Lord I have walked faithfully with you and have not consorted with the deceitful.' Loving at a distance means we never agree with the choices of the loved one, but we do agree that when the time is right and our intentions are not misused we will help the wrong doer rebuild their life.