04/30/2025
Hard truths I have learned from marrying my high school girlfriend:
You may start to grow apart at some point, and it will take effort to make sure you grow together.
You will witness so many different versions of yourself, and your partner while growing up together. Some versions will be easier to love than others.
It takes a lot of forgiveness. I’m not talking about forgiving cheating, toxic behavior, or abuse. I’m talking about giving empathy when there’s a rough patch. Giving grace when it’s become routine to be together. Offering forgiveness when they take a bad day out on you.
You will have to unlearn toxic behaviours you have learned from watching your own family, and parents. Calling each other out on what you need to work on is important.
It will get boring. It will get routine. Especially as you hit the 20+ years together mark. It takes effort, planning date nights, and not giving up.
You will fall into the roommate phase, and will have to work to get out of it. Especially with kids involved, it’s easy to forget your partner is supposed to be your best friend. Not just someone you sleep next to at night, and parent with.
Your wants, needs, and desires will change constantly. You will have to openly communicate what has changed and what you need from your partner.
Therapy is the best tool you will ever have, and it should be used even when the relationship is going great.
You will both change, a lot. You will both have to accept the grown-up version of each other, and that can be hard.
People will constantly doubt your relationship lasting, especially when you’re in the high school stage.
You may wonder if you’re “missing out” and wonder what else is out there. This will fade, as long as you openly communicate with your partner about how you’re feeling.
You may break up along the way. We did, and we found ourselves always coming back together. It can be hard to grow up together.
Going from teenagers to adults, to parents together can be hard.
You will be married to multiple versions of your partner, and that can be a beautiful thing.
It’s not all rainbows and sunshine.
It’s not how the movies portray marrying your girlfriend from when you were eighteen.
It’s hard work.
It’s effort.
It’s accepting the multiple versions of your partner that you will witness, and choosing to love them anyway.
We both have accepted each other for the people we used to be, the people we currently are, and the people we don’t even know that are yet to come.
While it’s not easy, we have literally watched each other grow up, become parents, and tackle life together.
So yes, I married the girl I started dating when I was 18, we got married and had four beautiful kids.
It hasn’t always been easy, but watch us grow up together, learn all of the new versions we meet of ourselves, and still choose each other, that’s the most beautiful part of all. ❤️
