08/27/2019
Another reminder to stay calm when your middle-schooler loses it. Easier said than done! I need constant reminding. Cool info on how their brains process.
Today was a horrible ish morning for my oldest. Nothing was going right. Shirt was wrinkled. Forgotten make up at school. Forgot to do 8 math problems, impending test....
Her brain was on overdrive and her sisters were in her path.
I mentioned for them to get out of her way (to no avail) but as we drove to school the funniest thing happened.
The radio DJ was seeking advice for her teen daughter and that she kept sassing her and breaking rules.
As a joke, I called in to give a few cents.
My two oldest in the backseat were laughing so hard. It really lightened the mood.
What I shared was this:(after many years of training that I still forget to employ at times):
1. Tween and teen brain are developmentally impulsive and quick to trigger
2. Tween and teen brain need to drink water and move their body when upset. The worst things we do are to isolate, or badger like a nail gun.
3. The more words you use, the expression on your face, and your tone and volume, when the brain is heightened, the less they hear you and calm down
4. A heightened underdeveloped brain can’t have a rational conversation until calm
5. I often show the diagram that my colleague Travis Webb shared with me.
The lymbic system is a huge 1200 pound horse that bucks the rider off and sends it deep into the F words.
Fight
Flight
Freeze
It says: “Hi mean mom. I am going to fight you, flee you, or freeze( which we often misread as defiance)”.
We really need to stop spooking the lymbic brain, especially before school. Spooked brains in class are anxious, distracted, and unable to attend, and are often mislabeled by teachers as off task.
The girls thought it was awesome I was on the radio giving such advice.
When my oldest got out she said “This horse is ready to ride again, Mom”.
Pure gold....❤️
Water
Movement
Time for reparation
Stop spooking your horse🐎🐎
