03/23/2020
A FEW SUGGESTIONS TO LIVE IN PEACE
“I leave behind with you - peace; I give you my own peace and my gift is nothing like the peace of this world. You must not be distressed and you must not be daunted.” (Jn 14, 27)
Constitution of the M.Ss.A. - No. 110 “This personal participation in the formation will shape his human maturity to the measure of Christ; and the candidate will gradually achieve: internal equilibrium and dominion of self; personal autonomy capable of self evaluation, of assuming conscious responsibilities and taking decisions, of overcoming egocentrism; affective and social sexual maturity; a conscious integration into the community.”
A FEW SUGGESTIONS TO LIVE IN PEACE
INTRODUCTION:
Perhaps the most fruitful resolution that people can make is that they will take measures to cut down on the amount of useless worrying that they do.
Such a resolution, if carried out, would release untapped sources of power in their personalities; it would make them much more pleasant companions, friends and associates; it would save them from many sins and mistakes that spring primarily from excessive worry.
Worry may be defined simply as protracted, unreasonable, and frequently expressed agitation of soul. Its object may be one of two things:
1. It may be some wholly imaginary calamity that one thinks he has suffered or may suffer in the future;
2. It may be one of those real troubles or burdens that fall to the lot of all human beings in this sinful and imperfect world.
Thus, under the first head, many people worry about not being esteemed as much as they think they should be; they worry about their health even when there are no real symptoms of disease; they worry about befall loved ones; they worry about future possible misfortunes and burdens such as no one can actually foresee.
Under the second head, many people worry excessively about their involuntary mistakes and slips, exaggerating the disesteem these cause in the minds of others; they worry about the burdens that are a part of the state of life they freely chose; they worry because they are not promoted or advanced over others, or because they are not respected and loved and honored by every individual who knows them.
Excessive worry is not a good thing; indeed, it is always a sign of some specific weakness of character. In order to reveal such weaknesses, and to help into overcoming them, here are five positive rules for decreasing or overcoming worry and living in peace. He who learns to keep these rules will find his excessive worries evaporating; he who does not keep them will worry himself into becoming something of a neurotic. As you all know, grace does not suppress nature.
RULE I: God loves you. Get your mind fixed on the providence of God, on the sufferings of the Son of God who redeemed you, on the promises made to you by God.
- God loves you
God loves you. Psychologically, this is the most important truth of Christianity, It is the first step on the road to salvation, as well as the secret of mature sanctity. It also happens to be a truth that some of us seem not to believe. We accept it in theory, of course, but not in reality. We give it lip service, but our lives betray our words. If we were really convinced of this, our lives would be adventures of joy and not the dull, dreary, monotonous burdens that they so often seem to be.
God loves all of us! It is of utmost importance that we cultivate this conviction.
Scripture reminds us of God’s love.
- “With age-old love I have loved you; so I have kept my mercy toward you” (Jer 31, 3).
- “But now, thus says the Lord, who created you, O Jacob, and formed you, O Israel: Fear not for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name: you are mine... Because you are precious in my eyes and glorious, and because I love you” (Is 43, 1, 4).
- “God’s love was revealed in our midst in this way: he sent his only Son to the world that we might have life through him” (1 Jn 4, 9).
And he loves us for ourselves, ‘in spite of everything’.
“It is precisely in this that God proves his love for us: that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Rom 5, 8). Therefore, when we are not feeling so lovable, when we are stewing in our own misery, let us live by faith. Because, whether we feel it or not, we are lovable and valuable. The contrary is a temptation of the devil and should be treated as such.
Our own personal experience gives witness to God’s love. He is not content with just saying it; he is continually proving it, Love is shown not just in words but especially in deeds. Gifts are the language of love. The more one loves, the more one gives, And who can number the gifts God has bestowed on each one of us?
- Why not live in peace?
A glaring weakness of those who are subject to excessive worry is a lack of the proper spiritual outlook, a lack of the complete awareness of God’s relationship to their lives. The worrier has simply not permitted three fundamental truths about God to take hold of his mind and color his reaction to the untoward events that affect him.
1. The first of these truths is that of God’s providence. This attribute of God contains a vast complex of truths. It means that God loves every human being whom He created, and desires his happiness, It means that God makes no laws for His creatures that are either impossible or too difficult, with the help of His grace, to obey. It means that God permits no suffering to enter any human life, without a reason that will redound to the person’s greater happiness in the end.
In order to bring comforting truth home to our minds, Our Lord spoke the beautiful words:
“I warn you, then: do not worry about your livelihood, what you are to eat or drink or use for clothing. Is not life more than food? Is not the body more valuable than clothes? Look at the birds in the sky. They do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are not you more important than they? Which of by worrying can add a moment to his life-span?
As for clothes, why be concerned? Learn a lesson from the way the wild flowers grow. They do not spin. Yet I assure you, not even Solomon in all splendor was arrayed like one of these, If God can clothe in such splendor the grass of the field, which blooms today and is thrown on the fire tomorrow, will he not provide much more for you, O weak in faith!
Stop worrying, then, over questions like, “what are we to eat,” or “what are we to drink,” or “what are we to wear?” The unbelievers are always running after these things. Your heavenly Father knows all that you need. Seek first his kingship over you, his way of holiness, and all these things will be given you besides. Enough, then of worrying about tomorrow. Let tomorrow take care of itself, Today has troubles enough of its own.” (Mt 6, 25-34)
2. The second truth about God that is not sufficiently understood by those allow excessive worry to upset their lives and even drag them into sin is that of the passion and death of Christ. The Son of God, having taken human nature, died in excruciating suffering upon the Cross for the redemption and happiness of every human being. But He told us in order to partake of the fruits of His redemption, we must follow Him on the way of suffering. “If any man will come after Me, let him take up his cross and follow Me.” The reaction of so many who fail to recognize this truth is totally illogical: the Son of God suffered horribly for our sins; but he must not ask us to suffer anything.
3. The third truth about God that has not sufficient effect on the minds of excessive worriers is that of His wonderful promises to those who love and serve Him. St. Paul dealt with the worries and sufferings of the early Christians being hounded, persecuted and martyred for their faith, with these words: “For the Spirit himself gives testimony that we are the sons of God... so that, if we suffer with Him we may be also glorified with Him, For I believe that the present sufferings are not worthy to be compared with the glory to come that shall be revealed in us.”
Too many worriers want their reward right now. They want it in the form of the esteem of others, freedom from constricting responsibilities, bodily health, plenty of material comfort, social position and honor, In this world nobody gets these things in the full measure that they desire. Anyone who expects always to possess them will always have something to worry about.
Those who are inclined to protracted worry should turn their minds to pondering these great truths: God is my Father; He watches over me with a Father’s anxious love, Christ is my redeemer; He will give me grace and courage to follow Him on the way of the cross. Heaven awaits me, where all earthly troubles will cease, and God will be my perfect reward and unspeakable joy.
- So many gifts:
Am I aware of the fact of divine providence? Twenty four hours a day God looks after me. Even when I am not thinking about him, he is thinking about me, He is even planning to give me even greater gifts, provided I show a willingness to accept them. Everything that happens in this world, God either positively wills or at least permits. And to those who love God, everything, the evil as well as the good, works together for good.
And when I say so glibly this phrase in the Creed, “I believe in the communion of saints,” do I really appreciate what it means? These great saints are my brothers and sisters, praying for me, using the power of their intercession on my behalf. And Mary, the Mother of God, is also my Mother.
Have I ever thought of the cross as a gift of God, which he sends to save me from myself, to prevent me from throwing away the real values of life for the passing tinsel and bauble?
A young man was sitting on a log one day, eating a sandwich. Noticing an ant searching for food in the grass at his feet, he broke off a piece of his sandwich and dropped it to the ground. To the ant it must have seemed like a huge boulder dropping from the sky. Terrified, he began to run away. The young man stopped him with his foot and the ant began to run in the opposite direction. He used his other foot to cut off that exit. Then, by shutting off the other possible exits with his hands, he directed the ant back to the broken bread. Realizing that it was not a boulder after all, but food that he had been looking for, the ant had a feast.
How often has God sent the cross to me, and, terrified I tried to run away from it? But God closed that exit and this one and all the others until finally the only thing left to do was to accept the cross. And when I did pick it up to carry, I found it a great blessing from God. So many people have no thought for God or use for him until they are flat on their backs in a hospital.
Have I taken for granted the astonishing gift of sanctifying grace and the countless number of actual graces God has given me? And have I ever considered the numerous occasions of sin from which God has preserved me?
How true is the saying, “Virtue is often the lack of opportunity.”
Did I ever thank God for the favors he refused to give me? Those favors for which I prayed so hard but never received, because God in his infinite wisdom knew they would not be good for me. Much like a human father will refuse to give his infant son the sharp sparkling knife he has in his hand, even though the child may bawl his little eyes out.
Add to all of this gifts of my family, my friends, my home and my job. Does God love me? Love is shown in deeds. Gifts are the language of love.
And if I haven’t received more gifts, isn’t it because I haven’t asked? “Ask, and you will receive. Seek, and you will find. Knock, and it will be opened to you... If you, with all your sins, knew how to give your children what is good, how much more will your heavenly Father give good things to anyone who asks him” (Mt 7, 7, 11).
RULE II: Get your mind off the unimportant sufferings and setbacks of your life.
There are those for whom nothing that hurts them in any way is unimportant. A small headache, a slight from a friend or neighbor, any annoyance caused by children’s clatter and noise upsets and agitates them beyond all reason.
There is a name for the weakness thus revealed; it is called egotism. An egotist is one who wants the whole world to revolve around his comfort, his feelings, his desires and ambitions. If any of these are crossed or upset in any way, he groans interiorly and moans exteriorly. Since no one escapes a multitude of small annoyances in life, the egotist who cannot take them wallows in self pity, which is a special form of worry.
The remedy is to be found in the rule set down above. This rule assumes that a person must learn to make clear distinctions between important and unimportant things, essential and accidental things, that happen to him or threaten to happen to him. Actually, most of the things about which we human beings worry are either unimportant in themselves, unlikely to happen, or such as we will be able to handle without too great difficulty when they arrive. Just look back on your life and ask yourself:
“What was I worrying about 10 years ago today? Five years ago? One year ago? Or just last month?”
Or, looking to the future,
“What will all these things about which I am troubled and worried amount to 50 years from now?”
After all, only one thing is of absolute importance - TO LIVE IN CHRIST. The questions about which we really should be concerned are do I really love???
Do I hate sin and avoid it? Can I say right now that I am on the way to accepting the Kingdom of God? Am I doing the job God gave me to do as well as I can? Am I a source of scandal and trial, or of inspiration and help to others?
The small and temporary irritations of daily life must be considered too unimportant to awaken self-pity, excessive worry, mental agitation of any kind.
Say to yourself, when you find yourself worrying or upset: “Is the cause of this worry really important? If not, away with it, and let’s get down to business.”
RULE III: Get your mind fixed on the needs of your neighbors.
We have noted how often the thread of egotism, self-centeredness, downright selfishness runs through all the patterns of excessive worry to be found among human beings. In the light of this Rule III, note how often one who is subject to fits of worrying is usually concerned with what others owe him, and very little with what are his duties and obligations, both of justice and charity toward others.
So you have the selfish wife, who feels that her husband just does not love her as he should, and foolishly thinks that she can make him love her more by nagging at him all the livelong day. So have the jealous husband, who fears that his wife might cast a fond eye on someone other than himself, and so tries to imprison her away from all contact with the world. So you have the miserly individual who lives in dread that someone will swindle him or outfox him or even loosen his bankroll for any good cause.
These commonplace examples of difficult-to-love people are usually great worriers. Their thoughts center about such topics as “my rights,” “what people owe me,” “how I deserve to be treated,” and, of course, “how badly I am misused and mistreated by those around me.” Now, absolutely nobody goes through life without experiencing some ill-treatment from others, either malicious or unintended. Anyone who has a kind of fixation on the ill treatment received from others will rarely be without worry.
There is absolutely only one cure for such worriers, and that is forcibly to detach their mind from what others owe them and to fix it firmly on what they can do for others. This is THE ESSENCE OF THE CHARITY taught by Jesus Christ. It involves many things: forgiveness of enemies, patience with the shortcomings of loved ones, the desire to serve others without hope of reward, generosity of spirit, cheerfulness of manner under any circumstance.
If you worry because you think you are mistreated, or be cause you really are mistreated, start working so hard for others, for the love of God, that your own wounded ego will soon be forgotten.
RULE IV: Get your mind off future possible burdens and sufferings.
There are many epigrams to the effect that a large proportion of the things that worry us about the future never come to pass at all. Moreover, even those previously worried about things that do come to pass usually turn Out to be more easily borne than had been anticipated.
Experience proves these statements, and God’s word promises that so it will be.
Yet there are thousands of people who make themselves miserable solely on the basis of what may be their sad lot at some future time. Thus there is the young mother of three children who makes herself a nervous wreck (or a sinner) over the thought of how burdened she will be when and if she has six or seven children, There are the father and mother who keep peering into the future and wondering how they will ever pay for their children’s college education 10 or 15 years from now, and losing sleep over the prospect, There are those parents who cannot stand the thought of giving up their children to marriage or even a higher vocation, and who turn their worries into barriers against the vocations of their children.
Some worry about lonesome old age; some worry about future possible illness; some worry about how they will ever endure dying; some fear the horrors of atomic war.
The only remedy for such worries is Rule IV: GET YOUR MIND OFF FUTURE POSSIBLE CATASTROPHES. Decide that your real goal is Jesus, God, and that nothing on earth will make you miss that. Then settle down to living one day at a time in loyalty to God. He will give you enough grace to bear the burdens of each day as it comes along; He will give you compensations too. But never forget that He can do with your future what He pleases, and if He pleases to afflict you in the future, He will also send you special graces to match the afflictions.
If your worries are largely about future possible trials, put the future out of your mind and decide that you are going to do the best possible job you can do with your duties of today.
RULE V: Get your mind fixed on the blessings you have already received from God, right up to the last moment of your breathing.
Since egotism runs through all forms of excessive worry, it is not strange that its victims are usually lacking a most important virtue, and that is THE VIRTUE OF GRATITUDE. An incorrigible worrier about unimportant things, about the unpredictable future, about the treatment he receives from others, will usually scoff at the idea of gratitude. “What have I to be grateful for?” he will say; or, “Nobody in the world has less to be grateful for than I have.”
This is not being said for incorrigibles, and therefore, for those who can and wish to overcome their habits of worrying, Rule V must be insisted upon.
For every human being in the world who has not been totally deprived of any opportunity to know something about God, gratitude must first of all embrace these things: that he has been created by God, created in the image and likeness of God, created to live forever; that he has been redeemed by the blood of Jesus Christ, and by the same act adopted as a child of God and destined for the everlasting happiness of heaven. These are the truths that make incomparably greater sufferings than any human being is actually asked to endure seem, in the words of St. Paul, negligible and light, and unworthy of worry.
Built on these basic reasons for gratitude, there are, in the lives of all human beings, many others, differing from person to person and recognizable only by the individual. These revolve around such things as one’s parents and home life, one’s opportunities of education, one’s health, one’s friends, one’s job, even one’s special gifts of mind and body. Some have not been favored in all these matters; but no one has been completely deprived of every possible good connected with them.
Excessive worriers so often remain blind to their reasons for gratitude to God and to their fellow men. What they lack is more important to them than what they have. And what they lack is invariably one of the unimportant things spoken of in the first part of this talk.
If you find, in reviewing your life, that you rarely make an act of gratitude to God, you have right there one of the basic reasons for your worries. Say to yourself then, in moments of stress and agitation over your surroundings, your future, your health and your job: “I’m alive; I’m a child of God; I’m on my way toward heaven; I’ve already been blessed far beyond my merits - all thanks be to God. And though I walk (with the Psalmist) in the midst of the shadow of death, I will fear no evils, for He is with me; His rod and His staff have comforted me.”
A PSALM FOR LEARNING TO GIVE THANKS
It is right to give you praise,
O God, in Zion,
and fulfill our vows to you
because you answer our prayers.
All creatures of flesh must come
and lay their guilt before you;
for, though our sins overpower us,
you can forgive them.
Happy the man you choose
and invite to live in your sanctuary,
there to enjoy the blessings of your house
and the holiness of your temple.
Your justice repays us with wonders,
O God, our Savior,
in whom men trust all over the earth
and across distant seas.
So great is your power
that you hold the mountains in place,
calm the clamor of the sea
and still the roar of its waves.
The nations dwelling at the ends of the earth
stand in awe at the wondrous signs you work;
your miracles bring shouts of joy
from pole to pole and age to age.
You visit this earth and water it,
making it rich and fertile;
the streams you have given us brim between their banks
and provide plentiful crops;
you send abundant rain on our plowed fields,
drenching their ridges and filling their furrows;
you soften the soil with showers
and cause the young plants to sprout.
You crown the year with your good gifts.
Wherever you pass, there is plenty:
pastures teem with flocks,
hillsides ring with mirth,
meadows are clothed with sheep
and valleys mantled in wheat.
Everything sings and shouts for joy!
Jesus said, “did I not heal all ten?
Where, then, are the other nine?
Could no one return to glorify God
except this foreigner?” (Lk 17, 18)
It is right to give you praise
O God, in Zion,
and fulfill our vows to you
because you answer our prayers.
A V E M A R I A!
A brother,
Fr. Eusebe Menard
