03/07/2026
Most people are not practicing unforgiveness. They are practicing non-forgiveness. Non-forgiveness is when we simply ignore the sins in our lives, both the ones we've committed as well as the ones committed against us. We do this for at least two reasons.
First, we tend to think that forgiveness is only necessary for "big" sins, traumatic sins, obvious sins, like stealing, adultery, murder, sexual abuse, physical abuse, etc. However, ALL sins damage the human soul, and Jesus was executed for ALL sins, not just the big ones.
Second, human beings do not naturally know how to identify sins. We must learn what sin look like from God. This is a part of the purpose of the Mosaic Law. As the Apostle Paul wrote to the Romans, "I would not have come to know sin except through the Law; for I would not have known about coveting if the Law had not said, 'You shall not covet.'”
But the Law cannot cover all the ways we humans sin against God and each other. The best way to discover sin is to ask this question, "Would Jesus do this?" Jesus is God. Jesus is love. Jesus never sins. So, His behavior is the perfect standard for love, and its opposite, sin.
Here is an example. Would Jesus drive the way you drive? If you are driving differently than Jesus, then you are sinning against God and the people around you when you drive. Of course, the other people on the road are not driving like Jesus either. By this simple example you might see how there is a lot more sin in our lives than we are paying attention to. Again, all sins are damaging. As Jesus said, they can only steal, kill and destroy! God heals us as we practice forgiveness. When we do not practice forgiveness, we do not get healed!
Here is a more important example. If Jesus had been your father, would Jesus as you dad have talked to you differently than your dad did? Who Jesus have treated you differently than your dad did? What if Jesus had been your mom? Or your spouse? Or your high school coach, or elementary school teacher? Or your boss? And on and on I could go. And, did you treat them as Jesus would have in your place?
Can you see how we are ignoring the vast majority of the sins in our lives, sins Jesus suffered and died for?
There are three prayers I encourage people to pray.
First, "Lord God, how have is sinned against you and not yet received your forgiveness? Please show me my sins."
Second, "Lord, who has sinned against me, and in what ways. Show me how people, especially my parents and family, have not loved me as you do. I need to see their sins so I can forgive them as you have, at the Cross of Christ."
And third, "Lord, who have I sinned against, and in what ways, and I need to humbly, and sincerely go to them and ask them to forgive me? I want to give them the best opportunity to forgive me so you can heal them, and us together."
If you pray these prayers regularly, and sincerely want to let God show you, He will, because He wants to heal you.
If you ignore sins, you will be ignoring forgiveness. When you ignore forgiveness, God will not be able to heal your soul. You will stay wounded and broken. You will be in the hands of tortures, who cause pain, and in a prison, that limits your freedom. That is what Jesus told Peter in Matthew 18:33-35. And I am sure you do not want to continue in that condition.
Learn to develop a lifestyle of forgiveness. You soul depends on it.
You can get our book, "Developing a Lifestyle of Forgiveness" from Amazon through our website.
Practicing all aspects of real forgiveness is the key to overcoming self-condemnation, compulsive behaviors, negative emotions, guilt, fear, shame, anger, hurt, anger towards God, broken relationships and much, much more. Practicing forgiveness is the key to Life. In these books you will have the...