Beauty For Ashes

01/08/2024

It’s been more than a year since I’ve written anything. The last year has been a year of reckoning with the Lord. The previous post I wrote, notes from the pit, was the beginning. I’m still getting to know Jesus again after a challenging few years. Years that did not look how I pictured them to look. Things I assumed when you decide to leave everything to follow Him....

12/10/2023

Publishing a few posts I wrote previously and never published, because I was afraid. This is obviously silly, but I tend to be kind of fearful of other's opinions - working on it. This post is from December, 2022.

**Publishing a few posts I wrote previously and never published, because I was afraid. This is obviously silly, but I tend to be kind of fearful of other’s opinions – working on it. Thi…

12/10/2023

**Publishing a few posts I wrote previously and never published, because I was afraid. This is obviously silly, but I tend to be kind of fearful of other's opinions - working on it. This is from May, 2019, incidentally I got a full time job shortly after

**Publishing a few posts I wrote previously and never published, because I was afraid. This is obviously silly, but I tend to be kind of fearful of other’s opinions – working on it. Thi…

05/21/2023

The slavery that Paul is talking about is not physical. It is spiritual. My yoke is fear. Some would call it a vow I made as a child. To see things coming meant I had some control. Fear was instilled in me at a young age, and I learned to read people well to know if they would hurt me. The brain science behind that is my amygdala was over-reactive. The amygdala in our brain was put there by our Creator to help us to flee or fight if something was happening to us or around us. This response is good, but when corrupted by sin and trauma, it becomes overactive. Our amygdala gets its cues from almost everything, and we have a flight-and-fight response to seemingly minor incidents - to the “normal” person, they see it as overreacting. To the trauma victim, it is necessary for survival. There is hope! We can train our amygdala only to respond when necessary. It takes effort and the help of Jesus, but it is possible.

12/09/2022

Lately, I have really wondered if God is really for us? He says He is, and scripture says He is. But here in this place of struggle, trauma, and brokenness, I wonder. I wonder how we are to continue moving toward Him and doing His work when all we see many days is the destruction and result of our fallen nature....

05/05/2022

“Even when the way goes through Death Valley, I’m not afraid when you walk at my side. Your trusty shepherd’s crook makes me feel secure.”‭‭Psalms‬ ‭23:4‬ ‭MSG‬‬ The last 3 months in our house have been hard, rough, tiring and dark. We’ve had one kid struggling with depression and went on medication. One kid struggling with bullying. We’ve been in the thick of a battle for our marriage and for our family....

“Even when the way goes through Death Valley, I’m not afraid when you walk at my side. Your trusty shepherd’s crook makes me feel secure.”‭‭Psalms‬ ‭23:4‬ ‭MSG‬‬ The last 3 months in our house have…

05/03/2022

True, I sent you to the far country and scattered you through other lands. All the same, I’ve provided you a temporary sanctuary in the countries where you’ve gone. Ezekiel 11:16 MSG Almost 6 years ago, deep in the middle of healing counseling, I wrote a blog post about the Spirit being like a dove. At that time, I thought that if I was not doing what the Spirit wanted, the Spirit would leave....

True, I sent you to the far country and scattered you through other lands. All the same, I’ve provided you a temporary sanctuary in the countries where you’ve gone.Ezekiel 11:16 MSG Almost 6 years …

02/22/2022

A ton of wrestling went into my choice to go back to school for counseling. 4 years ago, as I was coming out of some deep work and healing, I questioned the use of such a secularized field as a way of counseling. Really harshly judged it in my mind. The last 3 years the Lord has softened that and has helped me see the way He uses this in combination with Him to heal. This lead me to my ultimate choice to get a degree to go along with my desire. To bring depth of help and healing to those who struggle.

I was so excited as I read recently that “in ancient Jewish society, before the coming of Christ, there were three types of ‘pastors’: priests, prophets and wise men. ‘The objective of the wise men was to provide down-to-earth counsel about the ordinary affairs of life …grounding their approach in God's word in the Scriptures, and then searching in human experience with "steady logic" for enduring truth.”

If you are questioning and wondering if good solid counseling that is done through both degree and belief is right, I think scripture shows it is.

02/13/2022

Today I leave for a week of Hybrid classes. Honestly I’ve sort of been dreading it, it’s been more of a burden than a gift. This morning we worshiped to this song and I just felt the Spirit reminding me this week is an example of His faithfulness. He is doing this for me and it’s a gift. He reminded me, I don’t have to do this I get to do this. What we dread could be His gift and a revealing of His faithfulness in our lives.

02/11/2022

Today I woke up not feeling enough. this sunrise reminded me first thing that He does that just for us to see His way of pouring out and care. I’m not enough for all the reading and papers. Fear of being seen by people who I think are more qualified and able. Fear of a week of hybrid classes away from home. I’ve had headaches all week from who knows what. So in my weakness I felt pretty defeated. Those lies almost made it in, but He’s louder today. “Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.” 2 Corinthians‬ ‭12:8-9‬ ‭

12/11/2021

In this Advent season,what does it mean to have a Savior with us? What does it look like to move states twice in 4 years? What does it mean to have the world turned upside down by a virus that continues to eb and flow in severity? At times, it is lonely, it feels unstable, and that we aren’t really home....

In this Advent season,what does it mean to have a Savior with us? What does it look like to move states twice in 4 years? What does it mean to have the world turned upside down by a virus that cont…

10/18/2021

I love fall. If you have ever talked to me more than a little, you know that I love fall. I have always loved the beauty, feeling, smells, and activity that comes with fall. Getting outside without being hot, seeing the trees turn color, warming up by a cozy fire. All of these things give me that feeling of a full life. But, the strange thing about fall is that there are also many things around that look like death. The leaves die, the flowers die there isn’t a whole lot of life that can be seen. Yet I see it. In all the death, I know the life that is there.…

 “The child is not dead, but asleep.”Mark 5: 39 I love fall. If you have ever talked to me more than a little, you know that I love fall. I have always loved the beauty, feeling, s…