Jeff E Stone

Jeff E Stone Writing. Speaking. Advocating for the harmed. Hunting for truth in the bogs of church, life, and faith.

06/19/2026

I've spent years sitting with survivors. And one of the patterns I keep seeing one that doesn't get named nearly enough is that communities who silence women's voices don't just create bad theology, they create conditions where abuse can flourish right beneath the surface.

That's a core argument in my book, Safe Church. And what I thought about when I heard the SBC's latest decision to further restrict women's voices in ministry.

This is not about gender roles, it’s about power and control that severely impact issues of safety for vulnerable women in the church.

When women are consistently told their voice doesn't count, their experience isn't trustworthy, and their calling is inherently less valid, what do you think happens when one of them tries to name harm? What happens when she tries to challenge someone in power? What happens when she needs to be believed if she is getting abused and exploited?

Silence doesn't protect anyone. It keeps entitlement intact and further insulates insecure men in power!

I've watched this play out so many times, when women are taught that submission is the highest virtue and speaking up is a form of rebellion, it doesn't just shape misogynistic theology, it shapes whether abuse gets reported, survivors get believed and if predators get held accountable.

A safe church isn't measured by how well it self-preserves and looks good on the surface. It's measured by how well it protects its people.

And right now, the SBC is doubling down on a structure and system that makes protection of the most vulnerable harder. The church doesn't need fewer women speaking. It needs the courage and honestly the humility to finally listen.

Living Proof Ministries with Beth Moore

"We get to do this!" Most of us have heard some version of it from a church leader, and a lot of us have felt that small...
06/15/2026

"We get to do this!" Most of us have heard some version of it from a church leader, and a lot of us have felt that small, uneasy scratch underneath the smile.

This isn't a piece against gratitude. It's about what happens when grateful language gets used from a position of power to manage consent, bypass real pain, and make saying "no" feel impossible, and what it looks like for a leader to make room for the truth instead. If you've ever felt that discomfort and wondered whether you were just being ungrateful, this one's for you.

https://shorturl.at/yNsWg

"When the Pastor is the System: How Doug Wilson Built An Empire Without Accountability and Took It All the Way to the Pe...
06/08/2026

"When the Pastor is the System: How Doug Wilson Built An Empire Without Accountability and Took It All the Way to the Pentagon." This has been a journey of piecing together insights, and I am excited to share that I have finally completed it by adding Sections VI & VII.

- Section VI: "A Biblical Response: Doug Meet Jesus, Jesus Meet Doug" addresses the need for personal accountability in spiritual leadership.
- Section VII: "What Can Be Done: A Way Forward For the Church" offers practical solutions for fostering accountability and integrity within church structures.

I look forward to hearing thoughts on these critical topics.
Full Substack Article: https://open.substack.com/pub/jeffstonelpcmamdiv/p/when-the-pastor-is-the-system?r=3cck92&utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&utm_medium=web

“It isn’t only that the facts were wrong; it’s that the “wrongness” was actively maintained. Someone chose not to tell t...
06/01/2026

“It isn’t only that the facts were wrong; it’s that the “wrongness” was actively maintained. Someone chose not to tell the truth. Sometimes, entire communities collaborated in keeping that silence.”

For years, the at‑home DNA test has been marketed as a harmless curiosity; a holiday gift, a way to settle family lore, a portal to a more colorful story of family ancestry. But for a growing number of adults, that small tube of saliva is less a novelty than a detonation. It doesn’t just rearran...

05/29/2026

Ever brought forward a concern or disclosure only to be met with statements like:

- Talking about this to others is gossip
- Bringing this up is causing division
- You need to search your own heart first
- That's just your trauma talking
- Forgive and forget
- No one is perfect / We all make mistakes
- Suffering produces holiness
- Don't be driven by fear
- Love covers a multitude of sins

Author and GRACE Executive Editor Wade Mullen defines these reality-bending phrases as those that "make what is dangerous appear holy, what is protective appear sinful, and what is abusive appear loving. These phrases do not simply end thought, but reshape the playing field and the rules of engagement in which dialogue occurs."

If you've ever experienced the use of one of these phrases, we encourage you to check out Wade's full article on "The Wheel of Reality Bending Phrases" over on his personal substack at wademullen.substack.com/p/the-wheel-of-reality-bending-phrases

05/28/2026

Keep speaking up!

05/27/2026
05/19/2026

If your first response to someone saying they were abused is “that wasn’t abuse,” pause.

The person who experienced the impact is the only one who gets to name it.

Not the institution.
Not the leader.
Not the community.
Not the person who caused the harm.

The one who did the harm does not get to define it. Ever.

Intentions do not erase impact.
Good motives do not cancel harm.
Ignorance does not undo trauma.

Abuse is not defined by how it was meant.
It is defined by what it did.

And when we rush to defend behavior instead of listening to pain, we are not protecting truth. We are protecting ourselves.

Believe survivors.
Stop minimizing harm.
Stop redefining someone else’s lived experience to make it easier to swallow.

When someone says “this hurt me,” the correct response is not correction.
It is listening.

05/09/2026

For a lot of people, church doesn’t just affect their beliefs.
It affects their nervous system.

Sometimes the lights, the music, the sermon, the language, or the pressure to stay quiet can pull someone back into fear, shame, or survival mode.

And if that happens to you, it does not mean you’re weak.
It does not mean you’re faithless.
And it does not mean your body is the problem.

Your body remembers what your mind tried to survive.

You are allowed to pause.
You are allowed to need space.
You are allowed to care for yourself in places that taught you to ignore your own pain.

Healing is not rebellion.
And safety is not selfish.

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Colorado Springs, CO

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