11/04/2025
Pain, an interesting word. The list is long regarding types of pain. Physical. Emotional. Mental. Just to name a few. Then there are combination of them. Stress at work or over finances creates tightness in the chest and a hollowness in the gut.
Our last 4 years certainly fits into these categories at levels I never imagined. Landing in the ER thinking I was having a heart attack to learn it was stress related which was one of the factors that led to my resignation. Building a house (not HAVING one built, we did ~60% of the work) is something I'd only suggest to a very select few. Then there is the financial strains we encounter. Needing to decide between paying for your utilities and the house payment? The feelings of "not being a provider" creep in even though you've done everything you know to do.
In the midst of this journey I've heard a constant voice saying, "then act like it". The term TALI has come from this. Who knows.... it may even become a book someday. Do I truly trust God? TALI. Is anxiety welling up? TALI. Then comes a stroke. TALI. Double hernias. TALI. Over 350 job applications with no responses. TALI. I'm not talking about faking it. I'm talking about releasing the anxiety, letting go of the stress. If He says that He will provide for my every need.... TALI. Do your part and TALI.
Over the past year I've become more exposed to the deeper writings of CS Lewis. In The Problem of Pain Lewis says, "when pain is to be borne, a little courage helps more than much knowledge, a little human sympathy more than much courage, and the least tincture of the love of God more than all".
Those who have experienced deep pain, anguish, AND trusted God, know exactly what Lewis's statement means. If you've experienced deep pain, anguish, and NOT trusted God. I would challenge you to trust Him.
Much of the pain we experience in life is not because this "loving God isn't so loving". It's because this loving God wants us to know (with experience) just how much we need Him.
Our journey is not over but I can say that I'm a completely different man for having gone through all of this and I wouldn't exchange it for anything! I have friends and family that are losing their minds over the current administration. This grieves me deeply. Politics, while important, are NOT the most important thing. Daniel 2 and Romans 13 (other places as well) speak that God is the one who places and removes leaders. If you believe God. TALI.
Your prayers a deeply appreciated. More to come.