Carried By Grace

Carried By Grace This page is for grieving Christians in Cherokee. We will follow loosely Grief Share.

Isaiah 53:3He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our fa...
12/24/2025

Isaiah 53:3
He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

Tomorrow is one of the toughest days of the year, and depending on family traditions it may be today. Especially, if the person you are missing loved this time of year. The get togethers, the smiles, laughter and joy. I will prepare you know there will be moments of pain from out of nowhere that will also make grief very real. You will be tempted to ask, "what's wrong with me?" Don't, this type of experience proves you loved someone and you were loved. You shared a life with them, share your grief. The other thought will be, "Noone understands what I'm going through". And that is true, noone on this earth understands your particular walk.

But consider our verse. If you are a believer in Christ Jesus you do have a friend like no other. He knows what it is to literally be despised, you may have times when you let that thought rub through your mind that, others hate you for your grief. Again, they just may not understand that you need to experience this moment in time so you can continue with life. But notice in the verse, "Christ was a man of sorrows". He knew what it is to be rejected, shunned, even to feel pushed out because others did not understand Him. Then the big question, "is there anyone that understands what I'm going through?"

"Acquainted with grief." My answer is yes, someone at least understands coming home to a quiet house. Not having to constantly adjust your schedule for them, and then a sudden sense of relief, and thinking "I shouldn't". No do, experience it. Someone came up with the five stages of grief.

1. Denial 2. Bargaining 3. Anger 4. Depression 5. Acceptance

This time of the year you will go through all of them. At times it seems all at once. That doesn't make you crazy, that means your human, you loved someone and you miss them. Time will help carry the load. But if it's been less than a year. At some point especially in the quiet moment it will come sneaking back. Let it happen.

The point of the post is that you aren't truly alone. Someone does understand, they have been there. You can make it through this time. If you don't feel like celebrating good, it's ok. If you think going ahead to honor them. Do that.

If your looking for a right way to grief and honor them. Understand, there is no right way. Simply know the experience is part of being human. As a believer turn to the one who has carried you through so many times. He still understands.

11/27/2025

Philippians 1:3 I thank my God upon every remembrance of you,

This going to be a tough time of the year. For many it is your first holiday with a loved one. It is ok to miss them. It is ok to still be in mourning. I will dare to say some will feel like putting off celebrations and that is ok too.
Many memories are made around this time of year. The more they celebrated this time it seems the harder it is to continue. But if the wounds are still fresh and its been less than a year or very recent, it is ok to mourn.
Just remember among the precious promises of the Lord is that joy continues. Specifically it comes in the morning. So for now, please mourn and let out the tears. The day will come when you can smile.
Especially for those that lived their faith, they are where they longed to be, in the presence of their savior. The Bible does make it clear there is a time for everything. There is a season for everything. Just remember to not get lost in the dark seasons.

10/09/2025

John 20:19 Then the same day at evening, being the first day of the week, when the doors were shut where the disciples were assembled for fear of the Jews, came Jesus and stood in the midst, and saith unto them, Peace be unto you.

1. This is the day Christ arose, so three days after His death. The next day. Long as you continue to live there is the next day. Yes, it is different because our loved one isn't there. Yes, it is difficult, some days to hear silence rather than their voice or even their breathing. You are not alone, if you are a believer Christ goes with you. And there are those who are sharing your journey. Yours is uniquely yours, but together navigating rough waters.

2. Don't neglect the scriptures. Vs. 9 in this chapter indicates the promise of the resurrection wasn't real for the disciples yet. It is after all our hope and why we are believers. There are valued truths in the scripture that don't become real until you need them. You hear them, you read them, but now that will help carry you, the next day.

3. Weeping is part of grief. In vs. 11 Mary weep outside the tomb. And Christ met with her. Christ cared enough to visit a single grieving believer. It's that the beauty of the moment, Christ comforting an individual believer. Speaking truth to her and revealing Himself to her in ways she had not know him before. Helping as never before. It made the next day worth it to continue.

4. Then notice in our quoted verse. They had shut the door, for fear. There is fear in continuing without our loved one. Children don't understand how much their parents mean to them until they are gone. As a young person we didn't understand what joining our lives with another person meant. Nor how we would value those moments. But can I point something out, so long as you continue, their memory does too. You carry them now in your life. In one way they continue. It will be ok for the tear to dim your eye when you see a forgotten piece of paper or even to see a forgotten video or picture. Continue the next day, because you carry them into the next day.

The next day needs you, continue.

06/25/2025

Matthew 14:13 When Jesus heard of it, he departed thence by ship into a desert place apart:...

The "it" was the death of His cousin John the Baptist. Even Christ took time away to deal with the pain of losing a family member. If you choose to return to your normal schedule without facing the pain one day it will build up on you. Shed tears of sorrow, express your thoughts in words, spoken to a person or written down. Get some water and rest. Sudden traumatic deaths as John the Baptist are a shock to the system. Long drawn out sickness can "feel" so wrong to have a sense of relief that it is over. Both are normal reactions to extraordinary events. Even sitting down with family to tell stories is dealing with the death. Bottling it up and pushing it down is the sure way to become callous and risk not feeling period.

The point is deal with the sorrow. So you can continue with life.

03/01/2025

There is no fast forward button for grief
There is no formula for carrying the load of love departed too early
Working through greif is very much the individual experience
The steps don't come in stages, sometimes they are all there at once, the anger, the bargaining, the depression, the denial, and yes even the acceptance come with each step of the journey.
At other times you wonder if you're still human, because you're numb
There is no one size fits all version of grief
Just work through each day, take the next step, and the next...

02/20/2025

The tough day

Genesis 23:19 And after this, Abraham buried Sarah his wife in the cave of the field of Machpelah before Mamre: the same is Hebron in the land of Canaan.

The day of departure is hard. No doubt that the heartache of that day, the day someone said the words, "they're gone". You will remember.

The more intense the day, the more intense the memories, similar weather, sounds and even smells brings memories.

The tough day, is the day you choose to continue with life. The day you start the new walk, no not forgetting. The day you learn to carry the memory. Not leaving behind, bringing their memory with you. The life you built, their input, you continue the dreams, the vision, the next step.

The tough day is the day you give yourself permission to continue the life you are still living.

12/11/2024

Holiday memories, especially Christmas memories are tough, especially the first year. The best we can do is lean on the mercies of the Lord.

Psalms 25:6 Remember, O LORD, thy tender mercies and thy lovingkindnesses; for they have been ever of old.

Memory is a great thing and we have many wonderful memories of this life. This time of year the memories are generally pleasant and joyous but when we are missing someone it seems to steal the joy of the moment. That is ok, to miss someone is ok. This time of year the good memories often bring tears to our eyes. We cry over loved ones we are missing. Be there for one another, often kind words knowing some are in deep pain unlike anything we have experienced in days gone by. Be kind, be understanding and try to help as you can bring a smile.

Just don't push the tears back, God in His great wisdom designed us to mourn. It actually helps us heal when we mourn and you are not alone. This year others are in the same boat with you. Remember the good, cry for those missing at dinner but enjoy those still here.

10/24/2024

Job 9:17 For he breaketh me with a tempest, and multiplieth my wounds without cause.

Job was certainly acquainted with grief. The suddenness, the intensity and enormous wounds came without warning. Yet, he never gave up his faith in his God.

It has been said that surgery is controlled trauma, the surgeon in control knows his wounds will ultimately help his patient. We also know the power of the tempest was not strategic rather it was random, sparing here and wounding there.

As I write this there's another quote that came to mind that may help you, at least I hope it will. The illusion of our age is that we are in control, and the reality is we aren't, not our heart, not our breathing even our tomorrow. So what do we do? Realize i can only control me and my responses to what is occurring around me. I can not control what happens to me, even how others treat me, I'm left only in control of me.

Before you curse the storm, or heaven forbid lose your faith in God remember He never promised destruction would not occur in your life. He only promised to never leave you or forsake you. Sometimes even when the storm clouds darken the sky, that is the lesson, He is still here while you travel this journey.

09/29/2024

Job 2:13 So they sat down with him....for they saw that his grief was very great.

In the midst of so much destruction it is difficult to find a spot of brightness. Around us so many lives, home and businesses lost in a storm. What do we say?

Very often the best avenue is silence, we often forget our presence is enough to offer strength. Do the things you can till we can accomplish the things we want to do. Grief is sorrow over separation, a change in life and yes we are experiencing a life changing, life altering event, but above all remember we can make it through this together

Harsh words aren't easily forgotten. Kind words heal wounds, kind words help bare the burden. Be nice to each other, we have a long road ahead.

08/22/2024

Judges 16:30 And Samson said, Let me die with the Philistines. And he bowed himself with all his might; and the house fell upon the lords, and upon all the people that were therein. So the dead which he slew at his death were more than they which he slew in his life.

One of the hardest situations in life to deal with is su***de. The living are left behind to wonder if they should have seen the signs? Was there something I could have done? Most often the simple question, why?

So succinctly
1. No even those who are trained often miss the "signs" that are often written off to depression and they will "snap" out of it
2. This is and always will be a decision made when the individual thinks there is no other way. In too many ways it's a permanent solution to a temporary difficulty.
3. And no you will never truly understand why, even if there is a letter.

How does the survivor continue?
Most Importantly pray, there in prayer you can pour out the deepest of emotions and God knows, truly knows. The problem is one of the steps of grief especially in the face of su***de is anger so deep that you risk getting angry at God. One of the others is denial, not just that the person is gone but your faith can be shaken to the core of even questioning if there is a God.

Drink water NOT alcohol, at best alcohol is a poor way of coping. At worst it is a depressant and your own inhibitions may drive you to poor decisions.

Take time to both exercise and rest. And eat. Taking care of yourself when you don't feel like it is a challenge at best.

Don't withdraw from church, the fellowship of believer may not know how to help but their presence is often reassuring.

Allow yourself to mourn, shed tears and yes say goodbye (this is a difficult task). Cherokee's are often told to not cry but even God knew you would need to shed tears, even in sorrow God sends help for the tears of sorrow have been found to contain natural substances that help.

If you need too find someone to talk to, a friend at best, someone who is walking the same path. A counselor or your pastor, and if you aren't comfortable speaking to your, our pastor has been trained to help walk in these valleys.

08/17/2024

Psalms 62:8 Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us. Selah.

Trust in the midst of grief is difficult. For some it seems impossible. Some will even begin to doubt their faith. Others will go so far as to blame God for their grief.

Anger and sorrow lead some hearts to depths of darkness they may have never experienced before. But trust for He is our Rock, fortress and shield it only depends on what you need Him to be at that moment in your walk.

Come and pray, come and empty your heart, the very vessel of your heart. Hide nothing from the eyes that are everywhere and search everything.

He is the refuge that is always available, not hidden, never closed, always there. Come saints of God seek Him who cares for your soul and will carry you by His grace.

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