01/16/2022
Momma Knows Best
By Pastor John Pawloski
My mom just turned 85 a few months ago. She had a lovely party of about 75 guests at a log cabin turned into an event space at her retirement community. All the people she most loved in the world were there. She did not want any presents. She just wanted to share a meal with those she cherished. There were friends, family, and new friends from her retirement facility. My mom had texted me to make sure I would be there on time. I assured her that I would. But she seemed unusually nervous. I later realized when I arrived that everyone was waiting for me. My mom, on her birthday, only wanted one thing. For her son to say the prayer before the meal. Apparently, the word had started to spread that my mother’s son was pretty good at saying a prayer, and on this special day, she was hoping for a good one. Judging from the response (including from one woman I had never met before who asked me to perform the eulogy at her funeral), I gathered that the prayer did not disappoint. I will let you in on a secret, I seldom prepare a prayer in advance. Instead, I simply ask the Spirit for the words that need to be said. And the Spirit always delivers. My mother was insistent (what am I going to say, no mom, not saying the prayer for your 85th birthday–let one of my siblings do it?). And she got what she wanted. The gospel story today is a very similar situation. Momma knows best. In the end, Mom always gets what she wants. Like the saying goes, if momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.
We don’t really know a lot about the Wedding at Cana in Galilee, the place of Jesus’ first public miracle, marking the beginning of his ministry. We are not certain where it took place (there are three competing locations all of which refer to a place called Cana). We do not know whose wedding it is (some have said it was Jesus’ wedding, but I am skeptical of that viewpoint–Jesus seems way too ambivalent for this to be his own wedding). There are also some strange features such as a reference to Jesus’ siblings at the end, but Jesus comes to the wedding not with his siblings, but with what is believed to be his disciples. The Fifth disciple, Nathanael (who famously quipped, “Can anything good come out of Nazareth?”), lived near the wedding site in Cana.
John writes this account to shine the spotlight on Jesus as he embarks on his ministry. Note the stripping away of identities of everyone except Jesus. The bridegroom and the wine steward remain unnamed. And even though John, the writer of this Gospel narrative who was entrusted with the care of Jesus’ mother at the Cross, Mary is referred to by her relationship to Jesus: “his mother” or as “woman.” There is obvious s*xism on display in this Gospel account, even by Jesus himself, who when Jesus is asked to perform the water-into-wine miracle, he essentially tells Mary to mind her own business. Frankly, by modern standards, Jesus comes off as a bit of a jerk. Remember of course that women in ancient times were routinely dismissed (ladies, has anything really changed?), and their place in key events such as the beginning of the Messiah’s three-year journey to the Cross and Resurrection is intentionally diminished. To put it simply, John wants this story to be all about Jesus. But try as I might, I cannot help but see this is just as much a story about Mary and her relationship with her son.
How can I make such a bold claim, after all, Jesus, not Mary, performed the miracle of turning water into wine? Jesus, not Mary, embarked on his three-year journey. Jesus, not Mary, is credited with the making of a fine wine, better than the wine already consumed. All true. But without Mary, there is no miracle. First, we need to understand some context about what a wedding meant in biblical times. Unlike today, a marriage was a strategic partnership between two families, each of which had an unmet need that could be helped by the betrothal of the couple. Women, in particular, had a certain skill that was lacking in her husband’s household, such as baking, sewing, fabric-making, etc. The husbands, on the other hand, had generalized skills that were transferable across the region, usually of an agricultural nature. That is why the woman would leave her community and go live in her husband’s community–because her skill was in demand.
As we do not know whose wedding it is, we are left guessing why Mary took it upon herself to interject herself and Jesus in the wine-making task. Suffice it to say, however, that whosoever’s wedding it was, they were important to Mary. Some have speculated that this may have been a wedding of Jesus’ sibling. I think that is unlikely given the size and number of guests invited from a broad region including Jesus’ disciples (did you catch that Jesus made between 120 and 180 gallons of wine–enough for a wedding of 500 guests each drinking six glasses of Jesus’ wine at the end of the wedding),. But what we need to see is that running out of wine at a wedding is not just inconvenient. It is a public disgrace. Mary was not simply being helpful–she was trying to save the new couple and their families from public ridicule and embarrassment. Contrary to Jesus playing it cool, the stakes were high.
And without Mary urging Jesus to perform the miracle, it might not have ever happened. Jesus himself says he is not ready. But mothers know their sons better than the sons know themselves. She pushes him out of his smug comfort zone and says do it. And notice, Mary does not respond when Jesus says the wine is not their concern. She ignores his rebuttal and tells the catering crew to do whatever he tells you. In effect, Mary says to Jesus, it’s showtime! And when mom says perform, it is time to perform. In the end, mom always gets what she wants.
We tend to focus on Jesus’ divine power in this story. John even said this miracle was performed to reveal the glory of Jesus so that his disciples and others would believe he was the Messiah. What we often overlook is Jesus’ humanity. Like us, he never felt ready to perform in front of people. He needed a shove. Even the son of God procrastinates. And like all of us, Jesus’ mother knows best about how ready Jesus was to perform.
Amen?
Amen.
