09/09/2026
Have the uncomfortable conversation
It was noon. Peter was hungry. While he was thinking about his upcoming lunch, he fell into a trance. He received a vision of a large sheet being let down from heaven. Inside the sheet were all kinds of four-footed animals, reptiles, and birds. All the things that Peter and other God-fearing Jews had never eaten. Animals like pigs and rabbits, shrimp and lobsters, crocodiles and snakes, storks and herons.
A voice said, “Get up, Peter, kill and eat.”
Peter replied in disgust, “Certainly not, Lord, for I have never eaten anything impure or unclean.”
The voice came to him a second time: “What God has made clean, you must not continue to call unclean.” Peter was given permission first to eat foods that were previously unclean and off limits to Jews (Acts 10:9-16).
Then Peter was given permission to enter the home of Cornelius the centurion, who was a righteous and God-fearing man. He was also a Gentile. Jews were not supposed to go into the homes of Gentiles. They were unclean and off limits.
Then Jesus came. He fulfilled all those Old Testament laws about circumcision, sacrifices, and dietary restrictions. Since Jesus’ fulfillment, Jews were now free. Peter lived in that freedom, ministering to and entering the homes of Gentiles, not forcing circumcision on any Gentile converts to Christianity, nor demanding sacrifices or tithes, and finally enjoying BLTs and some roasted rattlesnake
You can imagine that it must have been difficult for people to transition from something their ancestors had done for countless generations to something completely different and new. Some did not handle it well. A group of men from Jerusalem did not handle it well. They still believed that circumcision was necessary for salvation and that Jews should not associate with Gentiles. This aptly named “circumcision group” believed that Jesus was good, but Jesus plus circumcision was better. Jesus plus sacrifices was better. Jesus plus strict dietary laws was better. But any time you add anything to Jesus, you will always subtract Jesus and his efficacy from the equation.
Peter was doing a good job of being a messenger and missionary to the Gentiles, to the non-Jewish people. Until some Jewish people arrived from Jerusalem. When Peter noticed this circumcision group, he drew back and separated himself from the Gentiles because he feared the group’s criticism. He allowed peer pressure to dictate church fellowship. It would be like if you refused to sit with your friends at the geek table in the high school cafeteria because you were afraid of being shunned by the jocks and cool kids.
The Apostle Paul writes, “But when Cephas [Peter] came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he was clearly wrong. For before some people came from James, he ate with the Gentiles. But when those people came, he drew back and separated himself, because he feared those from the circumcision group” (Galatians 2:11-12). This is huge! One apostle publicly calling another apostle to repentance.
I imagine that Paul had an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of his stomach because he had to have this uncomfortable conversation with Peter. Paul, out of love, called Peter to repentance for the hypocrisy of his actions. Peter was living in God’s freedom of the gospel, but he changed his way of acting to please men, not God.
Paul comments that Peter’s sin didn’t stay hidden. It had consequences for the other Christians who witnessed his hypocritical actions. “And the rest of the Jews joined him in his hypocrisy, with the result that even Barnabas was carried away by their hypocrisy” (Galatians 2:13). Hypocrisy, like any other sin, is incredibly infectious. When an influential leader like Peter compromises, it creates a domino effect. Even Barnabas – Paul’s trusted missionary partner – got swept up in it.
This can happen when we don’t deal with sin strongly or swiftly enough then others can think they have a license to sin. But it can also happen if we deal with sin harshly or legalistically then others can become pietistic believing they’re a little bit more holy and sanctified than others. This can happen when we speak softly and meekly so we don’t offend the outside culture because we don’t want to appear “not nice.” But this can also happen when we speak boldly and publicly so we might inadvertently hurt people who believe the words are too harsh.
Confronting others with uncomfortable conversations is messy and imperfect. Only Jesus knew perfectly the right times to overturn tables or call people a “brood of vipers”, “a dog”, or “Satan”. Only Jesus knew the right time to touch the l***r, commend a woman for her faith, or forgive a repentant thief. We won’t always get our sanctification correct. That’s why we ask for the Holy Spirit’s words, God’s blessing, and Jesus’ forgiveness with our uncomfortable conversations.
This is tough. But Jesus doesn’t call us to easy things. So, when it becomes tough, challenging, and uncomfortable so that you just want to remain quiet and comfortable, and so allow your Christian sibling to remain in their sin, remember this advice I always gave my girls whenever they had to do something difficult. I counseled, “Suck it up, Buttercup!” I’m sure Jesus would have said it better. But you get the idea.
Paul sucked it up and confronted Peter publicly, “If you, a Jew, live like the Gentiles and not like the Jews, why do you compel the Gentiles to live like the Jews” (Galatians 2:14)? The irony is devastating. Peter had already been freed from the Old Testament dietary laws by God himself with his vision of the sheet of food. He had been living in Christian liberty. For Peter to suddenly put that heavy yoke of Jewish legalism back on the Gentiles was total hypocrisy. He was forcing others to hold a standard that he himself didn’t keep. He was forcing others to give up delicious pork chops and go back to boring lamb chops.
With his uncomfortable conversation, Paul was putting into practice the words of Jesus in our gospel lesson. “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his sin just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have regained your brother” (Matthew 18:15).
Because of our sinful nature, we will bash people for their sins on social media or talk about them in the church parking lot or gossip about them in the stands of our kids’ and grandkids’ athletic events. Our sinful nature loves to gossip to other people about someone’s sin. Jesus shuts that down.
He says that we are to love one another enough to have uncomfortable conversations. We are to go personally to a Christian sibling. By going privately, you aren’t trying to humiliate them. You are trying to win them back. You aren’t there out of pride. Pride would keep you home, quiet, and gossiping. You’re there out of humility. You know Jesus has rescued you from the trap of your sin. Now you’re there to rescue your Christian sibling from his or her trap. The goal isn’t to win an argument or prove you were right. The goal, as Jesus says, is to “regain your brother.”
Confronting someone privately is incredibly uncomfortable. But understanding God’s grace to us give us the courage to have these tough, face-to-face conversations instead of ignoring the sin, hoping it goes away. If we just sweep sin under the rug, we are minimizing the danger that sin poses to that person’s faith. True Christian love doesn’t leave a brother or sister trapped in unrepentance. Because Christ lovingly confronted our sin on the cross and paid for it completely, we can approach a fellow believer not with a spirit of condemnation or superiority, but with the gentle, restoring love of the gospel.
So, if you notice unrepentant sin in another brother or sister in Christ, go and show them their fault just between the two of you. Don’t talk to other people about the sin. Don’t tell the pastor so that he deals with it. Scripture says that you as the individual Christian need to love your brother or sister enough to go talk to him or her. Your goal is always to love them enough to call them away from their sin and lead them back to Christ’s cross and open tomb for forgiveness.
Restoration is the ultimate goal of Christian admonition. As soon as the sinner repents, the believer is to announce the comfort of God’s forgiveness personally to him or her. This is using the Ministry of the Keys Jesus teaches about, “Whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven” (Matthew 18:18).
Paul writes to the Corinthians after they finally confronted a member who was sleeping with his stepmother. “This punishment inflicted on such a person by the majority is enough, so that instead you should rather forgive and comfort him, or else such a person could be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. For that reason, I urge you to reaffirm your love for him” (2 Corinthians 2:7-8). The goal is to win a soul to receive Christ’s righteousness. If that isn’t our goal, then it’s like a big game of Monopoly – drive the other person to bankruptcy and win the game. And no one really likes Monopoly. Our goal should be to let everyone get out of jail free through Christ’s forgiveness.
In the context of conflict, discipline, and restoration, Jesus comforts us with his presence: “Where two or three have gathered together in my name, there I am among them” (Matthew 18:20). The messy work of confronting sin and comforting with the gospel is not a solo human endeavor. Jesus doesn’t abandon us when we need to have uncomfortable conversations. He’s right there in the middle of the mess – supplying grace, wisdom, and forgiveness that’s needed to heal broken relationships.
Paul, by inspiration of the Holy Spirit, gives us one of the most important sentences in the New Testament. “We know that a person is not justified by the works of the law but through faith in Jesus Christ” (Galatians 2:16). Justification is a legal verdict from God. It means to be declared 100% “not guilty” and perfectly righteous in God’s courtroom. It’s not a process where you gradually get better. You don’t go from “guilty” to “mostly guilty” to “a tad guilty” to “not guilty.” Because Jesus lived to replace your imperfection with his perfection; because Jesus died to pay for all your sin with his atoning sacrifice as the Lamb of God; and because Jesus rose from the dead and lives that you might live a new life of faith and sanctification in him; now you are declared “absolutely, positively, no-doubt-about-it-not-guilty”!
It’s a definitive status. Notice Paul’s absolute language: “a person is not justified by the works of the law.” We’re not declared innocent by living right or appearing pious. Zero percent of your status before God relies on your track record. 100 percent relies upon Jesus Christ and his efficacy.
Nothing is going to make uncomfortable conversations suddenly become comfortable. I’m guessing that both Paul’s and Peter’s heart rates were high during their conversation. Yet, when Christian love motivates us, when the eternal well-being of our Christian sibling drives us, and Christ’s sacrificial love in forgiving us motivates us, then we’ll see the uncomfortable as being important, difficult but necessary, stressful but overflowing with love, care, and concern. So, go out and start talking. Love others enough to have uncomfortable conversations. All to regain your brother or sister to Christ. Amen.
