05/06/2026
THE SPIRITUAL FRAMEWORK FOR MARRIAGE
We all know that in relationships we learn more about the best of humanity and the human experience than almost anywhere else. That is true in our friendships, our families, our intimate relationships and our marriages.
So, what is specifically the spiritual framework of marriage, a framework that is helpful whether we find ourselves single, married or divorced?
It is this: A true marriage, in this life or in heaven, is not built merely on romance, compatibility, or even commitment alone — it is built as two souls turn together toward the Lord. As love is purified by truth, and truth is warmed by love, and those two look outwards towards service/ use, two lives slowly evolve into one life. Not by losing themselves, but by being remade, become both more distinct as individuals and more united as a couple.
Marriage becomes holy when it mirrors heaven — when selfishness yields to mutual friendship, when pride gives way to humility, when deep listening, forgiveness and gratitude are practiced daily, and when both partners seek regeneration more than being right.
In the Swedenborgian perspective, a true marriage, conjugial love, is not just for this lifetime — it is preparation for eternity. It is the Lord’s work of uniting love and wisdom in a living form, an experience some have in this life, and all have in heaven.
So, the question is not simply, “How do we build a successful marriage?”
The deeper question is, “Are we building a little heaven — together?”
And when two people choose, day by day, to turn toward the Lord and toward one another in charity and truth, looking outward toward service — heaven quietly begins. We discover each other and the precious jewel of human life.
Soul mates are real!