07/14/2026
# An Open Letter to Parents Looking for a Church
If I may, I'd like to offer a different perspective.
When someone asks, "What's a good church for my kids?" I wonder if there might be an even better question:
**"What is a faithful church for my family?"**
That slight change shifts the focus from finding a church that meets our preferences to finding a church where God is worshipped according to His Word.
The purpose of the church is first and foremost the glory of God. We gather to worship Him, hear His Word preached, pray together, sing His praises, and encourage one another in the finished work of Jesus Christ. Everything else flows from that.
Throughout Scripture, the ordinary pattern is families worshipping together. Parents, especially fathers, are charged with the responsibility of teaching their children the things of God (Deuteronomy 6:6-9; Ephesians 6:4). The church comes alongside that responsibility through the preaching of the gospel, prayer, mutual encouragement, and the fellowship of believers. The New Testament presents the congregation as one body, made up of old and young, men and women, married and single, growing together in Christ. In fact, the very letters written to the churches assume that the congregation gathered together to hear God's Word.
The New Testament itself reflects this pattern. The epistles were written to local churches and were intended to be read aloud when the congregation assembled (Colossians 4:16; 1 Thessalonians 5:27). As those letters were read, everyone present heard the same message—men and women, older and younger, parents and children. Observing Ephesians 5:19 - 6:4 Paul moves seamlessly from instructions to the whole church ("Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns...") directly into husbands, wives, children, fathers, servants, and masters—with no indication that these groups were in separate meetings. Paul even addresses children directly in Ephesians 6:1, saying, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right." That simple statement tells us something important. Children were expected to be present among the gathered saints to hear the Word of God read and preached. Rather than separating families into different assemblies, the New Testament presents the church gathered together under the preaching of Christ, with parents continuing the instruction and conversation in the home.
Children learn much more than we sometimes realize.
They learn by watching their parents sing.
They learn by seeing Mom and Dad bow their heads in prayer.
They learn by observing reverence for God's Word.
They learn that there is One greater than themselves worthy of worship.
When families worship together, conversations naturally continue on the drive home, around the dinner table, and throughout the week. Parents have the opportunity to answer questions, explain what was preached, and help their children grow in understanding. Those moments are difficult to replace.
Another blessing is the relationship between generations. In a church family, children are not isolated from older believers. They learn to love, honor, and interact with grandparents in the faith, while older saints have the joy of encouraging younger generations. I've watched these relationships develop over the years, and they are beautiful expressions of the body of Christ.
This isn't to criticize churches that organize ministry differently. Many sincere Christians are doing what they believe is best, and I appreciate their desire to serve families. My purpose isn't to condemn anyone but simply to encourage us to think biblically about what a church is.
When looking for a church, I believe the most important questions are not:
* Does it have the best children's program?
* Does it have activities for every age?
* Will everyone always be entertained?
Instead, perhaps we should ask:
* Is the Bible faithfully preached?
* Is Christ exalted?
* Is God worshipped reverently?
* Does this church strengthen families in their God-given responsibilities?
* Will these people love us, pray for us, walk beside us, and care for us in times of joy and sorrow?
* Will we be encouraged to grow in grace and in the knowledge of Jesus Christ?
Those are the qualities that make a church a true church family.
Children certainly matter. In fact, they matter so much that they should see genuine worship, hear the same gospel as their parents, and grow up knowing that the Lord's Day is about meeting with God alongside His people.
So perhaps the question is not, **"Where is the best church for my children?"**
Perhaps it is,
**"Where can our whole family worship God together, grow together in Christ, and become part of a faithful church family?"**
I believe that is a question worth asking.
