12/18/2025
Chapter 1
Page 2
I remember growing up in a Pentecostal church as a child. I was taught within a strict structure, but also taught not to look down on other religions or denominations. I came to believe that a church should never be judged by its label, but by what it teaches—whether its doctrine is grounded in Scripture and led by the Holy Spirit.
Yet even as a child, and well into my young adult years, I was rebellious. I convinced myself that I didn’t need to understand all the details of “this God stuff.” I believed that as long as I went to church, I could live however I wanted. At the end of the day, I would say a quick prayer, assume I was forgiven, wake up, and repeat the cycle all over again—without consequences. I thought I was happy, God was happy, everything was fine, and if I died, I would go to heaven.
Little did I know how wrong I truly was.
The devil had me fooled, and I was following his destructive path straight toward the pit King Solomon warned us about:
“There is a way which seem**h right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.”
—Proverbs 14:12
Until we learn to surrender our lives to God and realize we cannot rely on ourselves or our self-independence, we will never truly understand God or His will for our lives. Instead, we continue down a spiraling road that leads nowhere. One of the greatest obstacles standing between us and spiritual growth is our refusal to acknowledge that we need God. Because of pride, we resist fully surrendering to Him—and pride may be the greatest barrier to attaining a living faith.
“But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him… because they are spiritually discerned.”
—1 Corinthians 2:14
This refusal to surrender reflects a spirit of independence that alienates us from God and blinds us spiritually. Sadly, this is one of the most common struggles shared by all humanity—even among servants of God whom we admire and respect.
From the very beginning, after Adam and Eve’s disobedience, mankind has wrestled with independence from God. Although God has continually shown us the way back into relationship with Him, people have repeatedly chosen their own path. We see this even in Genesis chapter 4 with Cain and Abel. Abel faithfully offered the sacrifice God required, while Cain presented the fruit of his own labor—an offering of his own choosing, rather than obedience to God’s command. Abel’s obedience pleased God. Cain’s self-reliance did not.
Even our desire to serve God must be submitted to the lordship of Christ and surrendered in obedience to His ways. That obedience always produces blessing and leads us toward maturity in faith. When our hearts and minds align with God’s will, we begin to see the world through His eyes. We desire what pleases Him—and that is when we truly become followers of Jesus, who said:
“I must work the works of Him who sent Me while it is day; the night is coming when no one can work.”
—John 9:4
When we live depending solely on self-independence, we sentence ourselves to a prison of loneliness, guilt, sorrow, hopelessness, fear, despair, sickness, addiction, depression, confusion, lack of purpose, and so much more. Our lack of faith hinders Jesus from breaking the chains Satan uses to bind us.
There is more than one kind of prison—I know this firsthand. I have spent much of my life in both. One prison is made of concrete walls, locked doors, and someone constantly telling you what you can and cannot do. The other prison is far worse. Every one of us has visited it at some point. It is a life stripped of its intended freedom, withheld from the abundance God desires for us.
One of Satan’s greatest weapons is our desire for self-independence. The mind is his primary battlefield. If we allow him even a small foothold in our thoughts, he will cultivate pride. Pride breeds independence, removes our sense of need for God, kills faith, and blocks blessings.
Throughout my life, I lived chained by Satan’s devices without even realizing it. I first entered a juvenile facility at the age of twelve. Over and over again, I was arrested and incarcerated for theft, forgery, manufacturing m**h, distributing drugs—just to name a few. I thought I had life figured out. I thought I was in control. It was my way or no way.
Now, at thirty-eight years old, sitting in prison, I realize just how wrong I was.
Page 3
To be completely honest, I have felt the presence of God my entire life. Inside my mind, there have always been two voices battling for dominance. I tried to follow my heart—even though it may not have appeared that way to others. Somehow, I always ended up hurting the people I loved, when all I was really trying to do was hurt myself.
The chains of loneliness, shame, and feeling like a constant target wore me down until I believed I was never good enough. Each painful experience added another lock to those chains. I felt beyond reach, buried so deep that the darkness began to suffocate me—until I reached the point of contemplating su***de.
Satan is cunning. He has had thousands of years to perfect his m**hods of deception and imprisonment. Freedom comes only when we recognize his lies for what they are and learn the truth of who we are in Christ:
“In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.”
—Romans 8:37
This is one truth Satan desperately wants hidden. He will stoop to any level to prevent us from realizing that the only power he has over us is the power we give him. He convinces us we are weak, when in reality Christ has already conquered the world—and even death itself.
One of Satan’s greatest achievements is convincing people he isn’t real at all. While generations pass, he quietly operates in the shadows of our lives.
Scripture reminds us:
“Even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light.”
—2 Corinthians 11:14
Satan is a master deceiver who blinds both believers and unbelievers to the truth of God:
“The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so they cannot see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ.”
—2 Corinthians 4:4
His primary goal is to distract people from discovering the true freedom found in Jesus Christ. He opposes us reflecting God’s image into the world. That is why we must remain alert—his lies can come from anywhere, even through people we trust.
Looking back, I see many shadows in my life. God has revealed them to me so that by bringing them into the light, strongholds can be broken—not only in my life, but in others as well.
PRIDE
“Vanity of vanities,” says the Preacher; “vanity of vanities, all is vanity.”
—Ecclesiastes 1:2
Vanity means emptiness and meaninglessness—and pride is its purest form. Of all sins, pride is the deadliest. Every other sin grows from it. Pride caused Lucifer’s fall. Pride convinces us to elevate ourselves before our inevitable collapse.
Pride is an inflated belief in our own abilities, accomplishments, and possessions. It drives us to place ourselves above others—and even above God.
King Uzziah is a powerful example (2 Chronicles 26). He began his reign seeking the Lord, and God blessed him with tremendous success, strength, and influence. But when Uzziah became powerful, he also became proud. His pride led him to violate God’s commands, and it ultimately led to his downfall. He died isolated—cut off from both people and the temple.
The lesson is clear: we often seek God when things go wrong, but forget Him when things go well. Pride whispers that we no longer need Him.
“In his pride the wicked does not seek Him.”
—Psalm 10:4
What do we truly have to be proud of? The sun rises and sets. Rivers flow to the sea. Generations live, love, and die.
“I have seen all the works that are done under the sun; and indeed, all is vanity and grasping for the wind.”
—Ecclesiastes 1:14
Our lives only find meaning in relationship with our Creator and Savior, Jesus Christ.
Pride blinds us, fuels self-righteousness, and separates us from God and others. It whispers that possessions and talents define our worth—but they are merely temporary treasures:
“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth…”
—Matthew 6:19
Pride is rooted in selfishness. It deafens us to the voice of the Spirit and robs us of peace. Only when we humble ourselves before God can we rest in childlike dependence on Him.
Without humility, pride leaves us restless, disconnected, and spiritually empty. But thank God for His mercy, wisdom, and love. Through His light, every shadow can be chased away—and through Christ, we can overcome even pride
