03/10/2022
Six month update – This post is all over the place. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to say.
I have never posted on this page before but I wanted to today since it has been six months since I was taken off the ventilator. I am not friends with several of you on my personal page, so you have not seen my updates and I wanted to let you all know how I was doing. Also, I wanted to give a short version of what those 2.5 weeks were like for me. I don’t remember much, but these are the things I do remember.
I went to the ER on August 28th because my Covid symptoms had worsened. I was induced on the 29th and had Axel later that night. I do not remember anything after Axel was placed on my chest after giving birth, and I barely remember anything the night before giving birth, besides going to the ER. It still bothers me that I don’t remember those first few moments with him, but that feeling gets better every day when I see his sweet face.
Six months ago, I woke up so confused. I was hallucinating due to sedation medicine, so I don’t remember what really happened that day. I do remember the second day a little better. I remember a nurse telling me that that was the first day I had been normal. She also told me how sick I had gotten, even that my heart had stopped at one point. This was all news to me because the whole time I was on the ventilator, I never knew I was. I dreamt the whole time. My dreams were horrible and I thought that all of them were real. I actually thought my mom was dead when I woke up and I was confused when I saw her on Facetime. Thankfully, that was not true and I was relieved to see her face. I still have trouble knowing what really happened and what was a dream. I think I could still see and hear things while on the ventilator because some of my dreams lined up with what really happened, the dreams just being a much crazier version of what really happened lol.
I was so weak when I woke up that I couldn’t even lift my phone up. I couldn’t walk, stand up, sit up, etc. I was still on a feeding tube, so I wasn’t able to eat either. I was dying for a drink of water, but wasn’t allowed to have any yet. I didn’t understand why I wasn’t allowed to have water until I tried to take a drink for the first time. I choked on every drink I took the first day or two. I had no appetite and couldn’t keep any solids/liquids down for the first couple of days. On the third day of being awake, I was moved to a different UK hospital so I could be in a regular room, rather than being in the ICU. My husband, Tucker, and mom got to stay with me the entire time once I moved hospitals, so that made things much better. I slept maybe five hours total in the days after the ventilator was removed until I was discharged. I guess I had plenty of sleep while on the ventilator.
I was not myself for the first 2-3 months after coming home. It was very overwhelming coming home from being in the hospital for that long, especially to a new baby. I was sad that I had missed over two weeks of my baby’s life, but I knew he had been in good hands. I was afraid that he didn’t know who his mom was. Sometimes I still think that, but I know that he knows his mommy.
The only side effect I still have is a raspy voice from being intubated for so long. I will be starting voice therapy in the coming weeks.
Everyone on this page, plus more, are the reason I am alive today. You all prayed for me and God heard your prayers. I honestly do not think I would be here if it weren’t for your prayers. I appreciate each and every one of you. ❤️
Deuteronomy 31:6 “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”
Psalms 121: 7-8 “The Lord will keep you from all harm – he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.”
Enjoy these pictures of my sweet boy. 💙
