01/13/2020
As a relational counselor, I often say "We were created for Connection". Last evening, upon hearing a radio broadcast about the impact of social media and the human soul, I was saddened and motivated to do something about this news.
Here is what the research is saying about social media and the human soul. Young adults are especially at risk from too much internet and social media. There is an i (isolation), L (Loneliness) epidemic in our culture. Isolation and loneliness are being felt greatest by young adults and end of life (geriatric) individuals. While I can understand the end of life scenario, the young adult realities of isolation and loneliness are hard to swallow.
I am not minimizing end of life. I have personally tried to volunteer at nursing homes. It has been hard to cut through the red tape to actually encourage an older person. Maybe something I can address is people I see when I am in public schools or other social arenas.
Young people from middle school to post college are indicating the pain of loneliness and isolation. This is ages 13-twenty something. Go figure. These are people who have lots of "connecting apps", social media accounts, friends and more friends with their social media accounts. So why are they struggling so mightily with isolation and loneliness?
We are created for real living connection. Let me say it again. We were created by God to interact through real human contact. This means face to face, interacting via real live connections. In this context, we are seeking validation, working through inner struggles and relational connections. This allows thoughts and emotions to flow via mental, emotional, physical, and behavioral experiences. This is real life connection. It means we might have to be vulnerable, take risks, experience some heartache, and possibly grow in trust and love with another live human soul.
Then there is artificial connection. Connection that is synthetic, fake for the real thing. I run a non-profit ministry. I have to do lots of administrative type tasks with these responsibilities. I appreciate being able to text someone. It saves me time and energy from talking to them on the phone. But then I realize how easy it is for me to use texting, emailing, social media to connect. It is convenient, easy, no risk. It is easy to like something with a "click" rather than send them a message of substance. I struggle with how to stay balanced with artificial connection vs real living connection.
The radio broadcast I heard last evening is really making me stop and reflect on my own forms of connection. If young adults are experiencing such pain of isolation and loneliness, how can I help? Good question. I am grappling with this as I write!
Again, artificial connections are not what we are created for by God. When we are sitting at home with our devices fired up, we are seeing all of this activity by friends, family and others. We see smiles and fun and supposed connection. We compare our reality to that reality. And we start to realize we are alone, not experiencing much care and love, and actually feel alone and isolated! Wow. And we have 5G with our phones, and 200 Mbps with our internet providers. Fast, fun connection that somehow leaves us empty and longing for more. It is like we are in a constant state of near "Brain Freeze". All the information, all the input from hour to hour, day to day to where we can lose our way.
Unrealistic expectations, false comparisons, self pity and more can flow out of artificial connections. We start to assume things, forge beliefs out of the perception of our reality, and then end up depressed and isolated. False comparisons are a big one on social media. Especially for the young at heart. They want to be noticed, liked, appreciated for who they are. They have core deep needs like the rest of us. And when they see all the smiles and activities and events being posted by "friends", they compare their story to the artificial story. Beliefs like, "I have it bad off, I am not enough, I wish I could have what they have". And then the lack of real human connection confirms the false comparisons. They end up believing they are not loved, not really cared for and don't have much to offer. The purpose, passion, and power of real life connections ends up broken down at the end of a "no outlet" mental, emotional sign.
When is the last time we put our devices down for a few hours? They are addictive for sure. We pick up our phones for any beep or noise that might indicate somebody wants to "connect" with us. Then we put them down with the same "ugggh" of feeling annoyed and irritated by all the brain noise.
I am going to start putting my devices down for significant portions of the day. I might even leave the device behind when I go somewhere! Wow! That might be unheard of for some of us.
I challenge us all to de-plug and go to real human living connections. It might be difference between life and the other.....
