06/03/2026
How To Connect With People On A Spiritual Level
"Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep."
Romans 12:15 (KJV)
I used to think connecting with people spiritually meant having the right verse ready at the right time.
Somebody's hurting? Quote Romans 8:28. Somebody's doubting? Hit them with Hebrews 11:1. Whatever you brought me, I had a verse chambered and ready to fire.
I thought that's what I needed to do to help. But deep down I realized I was just performing.
I was so busy being the guy with all the answers that I forgot I'm supposed to be the guy that points to the One with all the answers. And that's Jesus Christ.
That's where most of us get this wrong. We think connection starts with speaking, but where it really starts is listening.
I learned that connecting with people starts by just being there for them and hearing them out, not trying to prove anything.
I learned this one the hard way.
I mentor a lot of people, and early on I'd sit across from somebody pouring their heart out while I was already building my response in my head. They'd be halfway through their story and I'd have a verse chambered and a lesson ready to go.
I'd walk away thinking that was a good session. They'd walk away feeling managed instead of met. Different M's.
There's a difference between handing somebody an answer and making them feel heard. Most people have never really felt the second one.
Think about your own life. When was the last time you talked to somebody and felt like they actually heard you? Not waiting for their turn to talk. Just hearing you, sitting in it with you, and not rushing to fix it.
That's rare. And that's exactly what Jesus did.
He didn't walk up to people and dump theology on them. He asked questions.
"What wilt thou that I should do unto thee?"
Mark 10:51 (KJV)
He asked a blind man what he wanted, and He already knew the answer. He asked because being heard is part of the healing.
He noticed the people nobody else noticed. Like Zacchaeus up in a tree, or the woman who reached for the hem of His robe in a crowd.
He connected through proximity, not performance. Different P's.
Jesus gained people's hearts before He gave them truth.
That order matters more than most of us realize. I call it heart gaining, and it's one of the most important things I do in ministry.
Before I share a verse, I listen. Before I connect, I care. I earn the right to teach by showing somebody I actually see them.
People don't receive truth from people they don't trust. You build that trust by being present and listening.
Romans 12:15 says it's simple. Rejoice with the ones who are rejoicing. Weep with the ones who are weeping.
Don't stand over somebody and correct them while they're hurting. Get in the moment with them first, before you try to take them anywhere.
That's spiritual connection. The person across from you feels like you're in it with them, not looking down on them.
"Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do."
1 Thessalonians 5:11 (KJV)
Comfort together. Edify one another. That's mutual. Two people walking the same road, both needing grace, both trying to point each other back to Christ.
This is only difficult because the truth of the matter is it takes vulnerability from both sides. It's easy for someone to be vulnerable with us. But when we're challenged to also be vulnerable, that takes a lot of maturity.
If you show up like you've got all the answers and none of the struggles, people feel it. And now you're performing again.
People open up to somebody who can look them in the eye and say, "I've been there too."
That's why I lead with my own red flags and failures. It disarms people in a way theology alone never can.
When somebody hears me say I struggled with the same thing, something shifts. All of a sudden their walls come down. And they're no longer talking to a pastor. They're talking to somebody who's been in the same dirt.
That's when real connection happens. And usually that's when the gospel actually lands.
You don't connect by being more spiritual. You actually connect by being more human.
That's exactly how Jesus connected with us. He left heaven and became flesh.
Connection over correction. Different C's. Most of us rush to correct somebody before they've even felt connected. And correction without connection is just noise. It can even be perceived as abuse.
Think about it like this.
If a stranger walked up to you on the street and started telling you everything wrong with your life, you would ignore them. You'd even take offense, right?
But if somebody who sat with you through your worst season looked you in the eye and said, "I love you, and I gotta tell you something," you'd actually listen. Even if you felt some type of way.
Same truth, different relationship. The relationship is what gives the truth permission to land.
One last thing. Spiritual connection isn't conversion. Your job isn't to change anybody, that's God's job. Yours is just to love them and love on them as Jesus loved on you.
When you stop trying to control the outcome and just stay present, the pressure lifts. You stop seeing people as projects and start seeing them as people. That's usually when the gospel actually moves, carried by love instead of pressure.
"By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another."
John 13:35 (KJV)
Love is the marker. Not how many verses you can quote or how many arguments you can win. It's what people actually recognize. And it's what opens the door for the truth to walk through.
Here's how you actually start connecting
1. Fight the urge to fix them.
Next time somebody opens up to you, don't quote a verse or hand them advice. Just sit there and let them finish. Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is close your mouth and open your ears. And that's even biblical.
2. Earn the right to be heard before you share.
Don't walk in thinking, "I've got to share the gospel right now." Walk in thinking, "I've got to earn the right to be heard first." Gain the heart, then share the truth. Truth without trust is just noise.
3. Lead with honesty, not a résumé.
Next time you're in a conversation about faith, share your struggle before your solution. Different S's. "I've been there" opens more doors than "here's what you should do." People don't need you to have it all together, they just need you to be real.
PRAYER
Father God,
I've spent too much time talking when I should have been listening.
I came in ready to fix people before I ever earned the right to be heard.
Today I slow down.
Help me see people the way You see them, not as projects to manage but as souls You love.
Give me ears for what's underneath the words, and the patience to sit in somebody's pain without rushing to fix it.
Let my life be so full of Your grace that people feel safe enough to drop their guard around me, because I'm honest about needing the same grace they do.
Use me, Lord. Not as the answer, but as the bridge that points them to the One who is.
In Jesus' precious name we pray. Amen.
Blessings,
Pastor Johnny Chang
PS. If anything stuck out to you today, leave a comment.