11/14/2024
This is a difficult post for me to make but it's something that I've been thinking on for quite some time now. It is with a heavy heart that I have decided to shut down the page. The reason why is incredibly difficult for me to even put into words but I'll try.
My whole life I've been told that good people are the chosen of God, that if we follow the teachings of Jesus we will be rewarded. But I've decided that that's BS. When does this reward happen, exactly? Because I'm 41 and I've tried to live a good life my entire life. I've given my last dollar to the homeless more than once. I've donated to friends to help them out of binds. I've never hurt anyone on purpose and go out of my way to make people's lives better whenever I can. I ran this page for 11 years trying to spread the good word about the good God. And EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I try to get something good for myself, I'm denied. Every time. Neither of my marriages lasted, two of my three kids act like they can't stand me, I don't have a home of my own, I barely make enough money to keep my car on the road....I'm just so tired. So beat down. And then people like Donald Trump - a man who has literally done every bad thing, committed every sin - wins at every turn. I don't want to wait until I die for the good things to finally happen to me. Call me selfish, but I want them while I'm still alive to enjoy them.
So my options for belief have become this: either God exists and genuinely just doesn't care about us. Or he doesn't exist and we're all on our own. I've decided on the latter option.
I no longer believe in God. And I can't keep talking about Christianity when I pretty much believe at this point that it's all a bunch of pretty lies we're telling ourselves so we don't all go insane. And that's fine if others want to do it. I genuinely wish everyone as much happiness as they can find in whatever form they find it in. But I no longer believe nor want to.
Thank you all so much for being here, for being as wonderful as you are. In the 11 years I ran this page, I only ever had to ban a handful of people and that is a major point of pride for me. You all have been the most wonderful online community I've ever been a part of. So thank you so much. It has been an honor getting to know all of you through this page. ~Amanda
