09/09/2026
From Pastor Randy Booth
Grace Covenant Presbyterian Church
Nacogdoches, Texas
Drama queens and kings are most often seen in the teenage years and among young adults, but they still show up among a few older adults who never quite matured. These are folks who can turn any small problem into a major crisis. They overreact with big, loud emotions, often because they crave attention. “No deals” are turned into “deals,” and “deals” are turned into “big deals.” The world revolves around these queens and kings because their little world is the only world that matters—and they are always cast in the starring role.
This is simply a description of an immature, self-centered person who craves attention and creates unnecessary stress, turning ordinary events into stage plays. They are certain everyone is thinking about them or talking about them. They can become deeply upset, angry, or sad over tiny, inconsequential things. They don’t really want counsel or advice; mostly, they want an audience. Personal chaos follows them around like a cloud. Then they are surprised when others begin to pull away from the drama.
When we see this behavior in young children, we can understand it. They live in a very small world and have very little life experience. The head comes off a three-year-old girl’s favorite doll, and she has a meltdown. A four-year-old boy accidentally lets go of his helium balloon and watches it disappear into the sky, and his world falls apart. Grownups can usually comfort these little children because we know that, from where they stand, the loss really does seem enormous.
Teenage drama queens and kings can be more entrenched and harder to console. The breakup of a four-week romance is the end of the world. A friend doesn’t respond to a text soon enough, and a conspiracy is underway. Someone fails to invite them to something, and suddenly friendships are being reevaluated, motives are being questioned, and sides must be chosen. Every disappointment becomes a crisis, and every crisis needs an audience.
Thankfully, many eventually grow up and discover that things were not nearly as bad as they seemed at the time. Life has a way of supplying perspective. We suffer some real losses, endure some genuine hardships, and discover the difference between inconveniences and catastrophes. As our world gets bigger, many of our problems get smaller.
We also learn another humbling lesson: most people are not talking about us. In fact, most of them aren’t even thinking about us. They have their own families, jobs, problems, joys, sorrows, bills, headaches, and responsibilities. We are not the center of their world. Perhaps that is what is most troubling to the drama queens and kings.
Maturity means learning to distinguish between a “no deal,” a “deal,” and a “big deal.” Some things really are big deals. Death is a big deal. Betrayal can be a big deal. Serious illness, broken marriages, wayward children, financial ruin, and genuine injustice can bring real sorrow and require real attention. Maturity does not mean becoming cold or indifferent. It means learning to give things their proper weight.
And that means we shouldn’t help immature people make little things bigger than they are. So, when you encounter a drama queen or king, don’t feed the beast. Don’t enter into the drama. Don’t allow yourself to be drafted into the cast of their latest production. You don’t have to take a side, share the outrage, analyze everyone’s motives, or join the emotional frenzy.
Sometimes the wisest thing you can do is simply sit this one out. Let the curtain fall. And walk away.
