10/12/2020
Kim Redford of the Cove Ward shared this insight that Temple and Family History (and consultants) will bring healing to families. IN THE LATE 1940’S, MY GRANDFATHER left my grandmother with two little girls that she had to support on her own. He left her for another woman, whom he married and with whom he had four children. My mother’s relationship was severed when he told her not to call him “Daddy” in front of his other kids. This devastated her, and he was no longer a part of my mother’s life.
I grew up knowing about the painful situation, and all the sadness and damage that it did to my mother and my aunt. When we joined The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, my parents became interested in genealogy, but I remember very distinctly that NOBODY wanted to investigate the “sad side” of my mother’s father. We spent a lot of time researching my father’s Irish/French family, and my mother’s Norwegian side, but we never investigated the side of her father.
Eventually, my mother became a church service missionary handling phone calls and helping people with the New Family Search. During that time, she became more interested in doing my grandfather’s side because of the help from other genealogy missionaries, and her stake genealogy specialist. She was excited to find people on her father’s side, because his family records were very prolific. My mother delighted me with a story of an ancestor named Cinderella. On Cinderella's 40th birthday, in the mid-1800s, both she and her sister died. Although this interested me, and I liked to speculate on how they both died together, for the most part, I was still uninterested in doing that “side” of the family in my own research. Honestly, the influence of the sad stories about my grandfather , how he had hurt my grandma and mom and aunt so badly, made me annoyed by this “bad egg.” Unrecognized was the assumption that they must all be that way on that side of the family.
Eventually my ward genealogy specialist came to my house to help me with some family lines. She went straight to the grandfather’s line that I did not care for, and started in. I remember I was a bit annoyed and wanted to say, “no, don’t do them—do THIS line over here.” But she started in, and before the evening was over, they were not just names and dates, but also their information made me realize my grandfather came from good, good people! Good people who struggled just like I do; who loved and lived with heart ache and joy, disappointment and hardship. I realized that these family members were MY family, not just my grandfather’s family.
I realized that there is more to a family line that one person. I love that side of the family now! Even though I’ve never met them--I know that they know me--that they love me, and are thankful for the work that my sister, I, and my mom, have done for them. I know even, my grandfather, is grateful, who I look forward to meeting someday.
And I’m definitely going to ask Cinderella what kind of party she and her sister were at on her 40th birthday!
