08/30/2026
Growing up, I’ve always been very independent. I didn’t love asking for help, and honestly, I wasn’t very good at accepting it either.
My first big lesson in this came when I was pregnant with our second child. I was working 3–4 night shifts a week when depression began to hit me hard. I eventually reached a point where I thought the world might be better without me. It took a young, 19-year-old CNA caring enough to tell me that he thought I was depressed and that I needed help before I even recognized how deep I was in it.
Asking my midwife for help was one of the hardest things I had ever done. I had always considered myself a happy person, and I couldn’t understand how I, of all people, could have depression. I was terrified of having that label. Which was ridiculous because I took care of patients all the time with depression and I felt so strongly about the importance of mental health. But it was hard to accept it for myself.
During that time, so many people blessed me. I didn’t want the help, but people simply showed up—and I had to learn to accept it.
We lived in Boise, away from most of our family. My aunt, who knew nothing about what I was struggling with, called one day and said she was going to start bringing me a weekly meal. My mom and sister saw through my facade and drove five hours to clean my house and help me prepare for our new baby. Even though I would never let my visiting teachers into my home, they kept showing up just to say hello.
At the time, it was hard to feel grateful. I felt guilty for needing help. I felt like I should be strong enough to handle everything myself.
Years later, during COVID, I found myself in another difficult season. Being a nurse during that time brought out anxiety and fears I didn’t even realize I carried. Then, on top of everything else, I had to have an o***y removed because of a mass that could potentially be cancer. I had to wait nearly a month to see an oncologist, and the uncertainty and fear during that time were overwhelming. Once again, I found myself struggling mentally and feeling like I was barely holding it together.
But this time, something had changed in me.
People showed up to help in so many ways, and instead of fighting it, I welcomed their help with open arms. I was able to recognize God’s hand in the people He placed around me.
Both trials were difficult, but I learned that hard things become a little easier when we lovingly accept the help others are willing to give.
I believe God often answers our prayers through other people. He puts people in our paths who can carry us when we don’t have the strength to carry ourselves.
Sometimes we have to be willing to ask for help. And sometimes, we simply have to be willing to accept it. There is no shame in needing someone else to help carry us for a while. Sometimes, allowing others to serve us is part of God’s plan—not only for us, but for them too. ❤️
Denise Allred