09/02/2026
Voice In the Crowd
I thought life only revolves here sa ingay, sa tawanan, sa kulitan. The kind of noise that made me feel alive pero pag tahimik na, ako lang ulit. Akala ko okay lang. Akala ko normal lang mapagod, na wala namang masama sa “enjoy life” hangga’t kaya. Pero di ko napansin habang pinupuno ko yung sarili ko sa mga masasayang bagay dito, ako pala yung unti-unting nauubos.
Ang dami kong tinakasan — mga problema, mga sugat, mga bagay na dapat hinarap pero tinawanan ko nalang. I drowned myself in noise, in people, in moments that never really healed me. In the world, I was filled with lies. Lies na sinabing “okay lang yan, at least masaya ka.” Lies na nagsabing “ito ‘yung freedom.” Pero freedom ba talaga kung ikaw mismo ang nakakulong? And the truth is, I thought I never needed Him. I thought I was strong enough, smart enough, independent enough. Pero ang totoo, I was only running away. Hanggang sa umabot ako sa point na wala na. Yung tipong napagod ka na kahit wala ka namang ginagawa. Yung gusto mo na lang mawala kasi wala ka nang maramdam, and just when I thought I couldn’t take it anymore He came knocking. Not with fireworks, not with thunder, not with the world noticing. Just quietly. He didn’t rush me. He didn’t judge me for all the mistakes, the running away, the pretending. And in that silence, I felt Him saying " I’ve been waiting.”
At first, I didn’t understand. I thought I never needed Him. I thought I could fix myself. Pero habang nakikinig ako sa Kaniya, narealize ko I was only running away. Running from peace. Running from love. Running from everything that could really heal me. And then it hit me He was never gone. He never stopped calling. He never stopped loving me. I started giving Him pieces of myself, little by little.
And each time I did, I felt lighter. More alive. He didn’t just ask for my life He gave me hope. He didn’t just ask for my heart He filled it with peace. and I realized I could give Him everything. Yung lahat ng sakit, lahat ng takot, lahat ng pagkukulang, lahat ng pagtakas ko sa mundo pwede kong iwan sa Kanya. And the crazy thing? The more I surrendered, the fuller my life became. Ang mundo dati, puno ng lies. Pero with Him? Busog na busog ako sa mga pangako Niya. Busog sa pagmamahal, busog sa kapayapaan, busog sa dahilan kung bakit bumangon pa rin.
Kaya kung naririnig mo ‘to ngayon kung pagod ka na sa mundo, sa ingay, sa paulit-ulit na sakit, huminto ka muna. Tumayo ka. Huminga ka. At sabihin mong “Sa ‘Yong Sa ‘Yo na ako.”
I promise you, hindi ka Niya bibiguin. Hindi ka Niya iiwan. Dahil doon ko natutunan hindi mo kailangang maging perfect hindi mo kailangang kayanin lahat. Hindi mo kailangang mag-isa. Kailangan mo lang pumunta sa Kanya, at Hayaan mo Siya. For sure you’ll feel it too. The peace. The hope. The love.
And one day, you’ll whisper the same words I did “Iba na.”
-Xian
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