23/02/2026
There's a quote from Naval Ravikant. He says, the closer you are to the truth, the more silent you become inside...
I got a private message recently from someone asking for my thoughts about their being overlooked for a promotion of their work. They say that they're dedicated, they work hard, they show up and execute. So, what does the act of being overlooked mean? Well, like so many things, it's contextual, but let's play with it. What does feedback ever really mean? It means what you've decided not to. Here's how I see the act of being overlooked, as this person expresses. Let's look at it as an iceberg, that rejection as a floating block of ice in the Atlantic and the top, the piece that's exposed and above water, the smaller piece, is your chance to look around and self-reflect, to ask why. Where are the places I could strengthen myself? The gaps I could close and the spaces I could occupy? Disappointment, it causes us to self-reflect and that can be a valuable thing. There are often tangible, quantifiable reasons we didn't hit the mark and I think that top of the iceberg is our recognition that we have things to do, places to go and what better a time than now to start moving in that direction.
Now the part of the iceberg underneath the water, supporting all that, there has to be a foundation of self-belief, of self-trust. Not only a hardness and understanding that you are not defined by rejection, but also a certainty that things will work out. That you might have to stumble, fall, even aimlessly wander for a set period of time. But when your focus is on a particular North Star and you are serious about it, committed to it, you'll find a way. And being overlooked in any capacity is not defining because right now is not an end. You decide where the end is. There just so happens to be a lot of space between that point and where you stand now. The vast majority of an iceberg exists under the surface and that's valuable here because I believe that the differentiator when it comes to success and failure is how one internalizes the process and their place within it. If you know you're going to succeed, if you are confident in yourself and who you are, then the little wins and losses along the way tend to mean less.
Getting overlooked in any capacity is a nice little bit of feedback, but in the grand scheme of things it doesn't hold the weight we tend to give it when we're less sure of ourselves and the process. So, let's get back to the quote. The closer you are to the truth, the more silent you become inside. We'll hear Naval is stating in one of his podcast episodes that the wiser someone becomes, the quieter or stoic they become. Referring to the character that I allude to all the time in this post, the loudest person at the table, right? Always talking or seeking attention. Often this character is overcompensating for something and that's what Naval is, in my opinion, properly stating, but I want to hijack the quote a little bit because I think this applies to our own mental chatter as well. When we are sure of ourselves and what we're doing, the internal dialogue is reduced especially emotional character. When we believe ourselves to be correct and in line with our values and our vision, the mind tends to be calmer and emotionally stable. And I can use this post as an easy example. I have self-belief when it comes to my ability to do this. I've invested years and years and believe that over time it's become a strength of mine so when that inevitable negative feedback or comment comes in, which happens, right? I take it for what it is. It's the tip of the iceberg. I assess whether there's any value to be extracted. If there is, I put it in my back pocket. But the point is, I then move on. Because underneath the surface, under that tip of the iceberg, there is such a substantial amount of self-belief and determination in the process, that negativity, it means very little. It doesn't define me. And that's the point that I aspire to cling to. And conversely, as counterintuitive as it seems,
I think we should be the same way with positive feedback. Like when nice things are said, it makes us feel good, and we should be grateful, sure. But the idea is the same, examine, understand and feel the feedback, and move on. Because if we rely too extensively on good feedback for our self-worth and our sense of identity, it's going to be hard to avoid doing the same thing when the other stuff comes in. It's about having a vision and trusting yourself. This is not you versus the world. This is you versus you, and we can't forget that. It's a person committed, determined, on fire in their purpose, collecting data along the way to something greater. And look, sometimes that data comes in the form of being overlooked. It highlights ways you need to make yourself stronger and better. But sometimes it validates and recognizes that your greatness, the value you're already adding to the world, either way, you're moving forward because it's who you are. And as long as you tell yourself you're going to win, and those two feet underneath you haven't stopped moving, you're putting yourself in position to capitalize on all the opportunity life has to provide.
You are going to see the compounding of all those steps you took, the ones you took when it hurt and the ones you took when it didn't, when you were sure and when you weren't, when you had all the energy in the world and when you barely got yourself through. All those times, they mean something. And it's the ability and desire to move forward regardless that becomes the determining factor. If you know that, the mind can be at peace. Life is happening for you, not to you. The obstacles become much-needed information, and the victories further contribute to your momentum. It's all moving you closer to where you need to be. There's a saying by Steve Martin, he says, be so good they can't ignore you. And that's not a point, it's a process, an evolution. It takes time, it takes patience, it takes self-belief. And trusting that mountaintop you're chasing also comes with a great sense of security. This epic adventure is yours and yours alone. It comes with discovery, growth, joy, sadness, and everything in between, but it is yours. And if you sign that dotted line, it doesn't matter if you are overlooked in some capacity. No person or external event can take away what you know in your soul to be true.
