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DBRH A place to meet God, Lawa-an 3, Talisay (2026)

23/02/2026

There's a quote from Naval Ravikant. He says, the closer you are to the truth, the more silent you become inside...

I got a private message recently from someone asking for my thoughts about their being overlooked for a promotion of their work. They say that they're dedicated, they work hard, they show up and execute. So, what does the act of being overlooked mean? Well, like so many things, it's contextual, but let's play with it. What does feedback ever really mean? It means what you've decided not to. Here's how I see the act of being overlooked, as this person expresses. Let's look at it as an iceberg, that rejection as a floating block of ice in the Atlantic and the top, the piece that's exposed and above water, the smaller piece, is your chance to look around and self-reflect, to ask why. Where are the places I could strengthen myself? The gaps I could close and the spaces I could occupy? Disappointment, it causes us to self-reflect and that can be a valuable thing. There are often tangible, quantifiable reasons we didn't hit the mark and I think that top of the iceberg is our recognition that we have things to do, places to go and what better a time than now to start moving in that direction.

Now the part of the iceberg underneath the water, supporting all that, there has to be a foundation of self-belief, of self-trust. Not only a hardness and understanding that you are not defined by rejection, but also a certainty that things will work out. That you might have to stumble, fall, even aimlessly wander for a set period of time. But when your focus is on a particular North Star and you are serious about it, committed to it, you'll find a way. And being overlooked in any capacity is not defining because right now is not an end. You decide where the end is. There just so happens to be a lot of space between that point and where you stand now. The vast majority of an iceberg exists under the surface and that's valuable here because I believe that the differentiator when it comes to success and failure is how one internalizes the process and their place within it. If you know you're going to succeed, if you are confident in yourself and who you are, then the little wins and losses along the way tend to mean less.

Getting overlooked in any capacity is a nice little bit of feedback, but in the grand scheme of things it doesn't hold the weight we tend to give it when we're less sure of ourselves and the process. So, let's get back to the quote. The closer you are to the truth, the more silent you become inside. We'll hear Naval is stating in one of his podcast episodes that the wiser someone becomes, the quieter or stoic they become. Referring to the character that I allude to all the time in this post, the loudest person at the table, right? Always talking or seeking attention. Often this character is overcompensating for something and that's what Naval is, in my opinion, properly stating, but I want to hijack the quote a little bit because I think this applies to our own mental chatter as well. When we are sure of ourselves and what we're doing, the internal dialogue is reduced especially emotional character. When we believe ourselves to be correct and in line with our values and our vision, the mind tends to be calmer and emotionally stable. And I can use this post as an easy example. I have self-belief when it comes to my ability to do this. I've invested years and years and believe that over time it's become a strength of mine so when that inevitable negative feedback or comment comes in, which happens, right? I take it for what it is. It's the tip of the iceberg. I assess whether there's any value to be extracted. If there is, I put it in my back pocket. But the point is, I then move on. Because underneath the surface, under that tip of the iceberg, there is such a substantial amount of self-belief and determination in the process, that negativity, it means very little. It doesn't define me. And that's the point that I aspire to cling to. And conversely, as counterintuitive as it seems,

I think we should be the same way with positive feedback. Like when nice things are said, it makes us feel good, and we should be grateful, sure. But the idea is the same, examine, understand and feel the feedback, and move on. Because if we rely too extensively on good feedback for our self-worth and our sense of identity, it's going to be hard to avoid doing the same thing when the other stuff comes in. It's about having a vision and trusting yourself. This is not you versus the world. This is you versus you, and we can't forget that. It's a person committed, determined, on fire in their purpose, collecting data along the way to something greater. And look, sometimes that data comes in the form of being overlooked. It highlights ways you need to make yourself stronger and better. But sometimes it validates and recognizes that your greatness, the value you're already adding to the world, either way, you're moving forward because it's who you are. And as long as you tell yourself you're going to win, and those two feet underneath you haven't stopped moving, you're putting yourself in position to capitalize on all the opportunity life has to provide.

You are going to see the compounding of all those steps you took, the ones you took when it hurt and the ones you took when it didn't, when you were sure and when you weren't, when you had all the energy in the world and when you barely got yourself through. All those times, they mean something. And it's the ability and desire to move forward regardless that becomes the determining factor. If you know that, the mind can be at peace. Life is happening for you, not to you. The obstacles become much-needed information, and the victories further contribute to your momentum. It's all moving you closer to where you need to be. There's a saying by Steve Martin, he says, be so good they can't ignore you. And that's not a point, it's a process, an evolution. It takes time, it takes patience, it takes self-belief. And trusting that mountaintop you're chasing also comes with a great sense of security. This epic adventure is yours and yours alone. It comes with discovery, growth, joy, sadness, and everything in between, but it is yours. And if you sign that dotted line, it doesn't matter if you are overlooked in some capacity. No person or external event can take away what you know in your soul to be true.

17/02/2026

CREDO Compendium of the Catholic Faith
Second Precept of the Church
Chapter 21 pp-203 to 205

Fasting and Abstinence

What does the second precept of the Church require of us?
It orders the faithful to fast and to abstain from flesh meat on certain days of the year.

10/01/2026

What's the difference between simple and easy? Well, simple is straightforward, uncomplicated. Easy, on the other hand, means achieved without great effort. The difference between those two words is subtle, but essential to understand, one deals with the complexity of an outcome. The other, your will and determination to achieve that outcome. Becoming who you most want to be is simple. But becoming who you most want to be is not easy. Just like walking is simple, yet hiking up a mountain is not easy. The procedure didn't change the context did. So, let's talk about context. Let's talk about this cyclical nature of growth, because it's not that most people can't. It's that most people won't. It's not that most people don't get how. It's that they don't have a strong enough why. The path is laid out before you. You just have to be willing to walk down it. Will you?

Step one, realize there's more out there. It's not that what you're doing now isn't amazing. It's just that yesterday's act of courage is now today's status quo. What was the spectacular is now the mundane. What was once the ceiling you had to jump to touch is now the floor you walk on. So, at the very least, it prompts you to ask, well, what's next? Simple, not easy.
Step two, the acquisition of courage. Yesterday's courage was a fight. It took a lot out of you, and it's ultimately what got you here. But it dropped you at the curb and waved goodbye and went on its merry way, and here you are. You can stay here. A lot of people do. You can reminisce of the glory days, the old path, yesterday's triumphs. Or you can do that perpetually uncomfortable exercise of vulnerability, stepping into tomorrow's unknown, reminding yourself that life's greatest rewards have a hefty price tag, and that price is discomfort. But I've already played this game, one might think. No, what you did was learn the rules. Now it's time to apply them to a new setting and around goes the merry-go-round. It might seem like a replication from the horizontal, but here's the secret. You can't see the vertical. You have to look down and see your ascent, see what you are becoming. Just by staying on, holding tight, just by believing in yourself enough to begin again, you are fanning those tiny flames of courage in your soul that wait to be spread like a wildfire. Simple, but not easy.

Step three, mistakes. Now, of course, it's not the mistakes themselves you fear. It's what you think those mistakes will mean. Ridicule, embarrassment, lack of direction or identity, losing what you have, but here's the catch. When you realize the upside is greater than the downside, you liberate yourself. When you realize there's more to gain than to lose, your potential for greatness is born. How does one act on these mistakes? By making mistakes not as intentions, by injecting yourself into the turbulence of progress. Our biology has not yet learned that the uncomfortable thing is the right thing, and that's why you get resistance. That's why it hurts. And it's why few people will accomplish what you will. When it comes to your climb, every day is opposite day. When they run out, you're running in. When they play safe, you play for the victory. To become who you might be, you must learn how to get there. Mistakes are your curriculum. Simple, but not easy.

Step four, Trust yourself. Okay, sure. No problem. Easy. Well, yes, it's easy when you're getting what you want. But evolution takes time, and there's nothing quite like giving and giving and giving and not getting. There's nothing quite like stepping up to the plate again and again and again and bringing no runner’s home. So how does one find the strength to continue walking up to the batter's box? Well, growth is exponential, and those swings and misses matter. The infield singles matter. Everything matters. Because it's all chiseling your future self out of stone. Nothing is dependent on the next at-bat as much as all at-bats in the act. By success, people are considered to be sheer will, dependent not on the home run, but on the discipline to self-believe, to keep walking up to the plate. Repetition and adjustment, repetition and adjustment, repeat and refine, repeat, refine. Those are the materials from which all things are made. Simple, but not easy. And then we have the finale, the ending.

Step five. Celebrate and adjust. At some point, you'll be able to look over your shoulder and notice something that perhaps you hadn't before, space, space between where you are and where you started. It's not sudden, but gradual. And undoubtedly, with enough persistence, it will emerge. These moments, they are precious. They are times to acknowledge what you've accomplished, the sacrifices you have made. They are life's way of reminding you what you are building and who you are becoming. It's a time of celebration.
Every little win means something. Every small victory matter, so relish in it. And then transform it. Normalize it. Recognize that that mountaintop is your foundation now. Your starting point has changed and so has you. I mean so have your expectations with an increase in ability comes an upgrade to what's possible. We have arrived at a new step one, realize there is more, this is the process for capturing that which life has to offer if you can fall in love with that, appreciate it, respect it. While simultaneously understanding it's not scary, it's dependent entirely on your ability to push forward. If you can understand that there is nothing you can't do. Nowhere you can't go. Simple, yes. Easy, no. But you're not in this for easy. You're in it for the journey, the growth, the adventure. You're in it because it's not easy. You'll see in time, as will the world, that this decision to endure was simply the best one you ever made.

16/12/2025

Matthew 1An account of the genealogy of Jesus the Messiah, the son of David, the son of Abraham.

2nd day Reflection base of Fr. Erwin Joey Cabilan, SDB homily.

Today’s readings look unsparingly at Jesus’ ancestry. Matthew points out that Jesus’ forbears included children born of in**st (Perez), of mixed races (Boaz), and of adultery (Solomon). God entered into our human history with all the episodes that proud people would be ashamed of.

The kind of gospel passage we have to deal with today gives us, at first sight, very little material we can usefully chew upon. However, it might remind us of the kind of family and lineage we came from. It provides a moment to think back on individuals who were huge in the fabric of my own life.

Remember, we stand on the shoulders of giants, and we pray for those who were so good to us and who generously used their own faith to start us off on our own faith formation.

You are a brave person to pray this gospel! It is frequently omitted when we find it at Mass, and unless we know something of the background, it makes little sense. The list is placing Jesus in the mainstream of human life and his people. It lists all sorts of people, holy and not so holy, public sinners, outcasts and the type of people you wouldn't associate with. In our family tree we might erase them or pretend they never existed. This list is God's list of favourites and of co-workers. All can be partners with God in the coming of the kingdom - and that includes me and you - and all sort of people you might normally not invite to dinner or coffee.

Matthew's Gospel opens with what, to many people, is an off-putting introduction: a genealogy. What Matthew is trying to do is to place Jesus' birth within the context of all Jewish history from the time of Abraham up to the birth of Jesus. Using groups of fourteen to make his point, he gives the impression that God made mathematically precise preparations for the coming of the Messiah. The first fourteen names mentioned are those of the patriarchs, people such as Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. The second fourteen are Israel's kings, especially Kings David and Solomon. The last fourteen are unknowns from Israel's past who played a vital role in the coming of the Messiah. Four women are mentioned in the genealogy: Tamar, Rahab, Ruth and Bathsheba. The first three women were not Israelites, and Bathsheba was not married to an Israelite. The irregular marriages of the women may well have prepared Matthew's readers for the extraordinary way in which Jesus was conceived.

11/12/2025

Seizing the TIME

If there's time, then there's time to turn things around. Every moment offers a new opportunity to change our path and move toward a better future. If there is a tomorrow, then there is hope today, hope that our efforts will lead to brighter days ahead. The only have-to-be is in life are the ones we prop up and adhere to, and how interesting that oftentimes we don't even realize we're the ones holding them up.

There's a simple question that I like to ask as the sun comes up and the coffee brews. Am I living today like it's an obligation or something more? Is it an automatic continuation of the past or a methodical move towards a future that lights me up? These aren't small distinctions. I've lived both ways, I've felt what it's like to feel both. I remember going to work and joking around that a flat tire would be a real treat. That's not accountability. That's not control. That's essentially living life as a jellyfish floating along with the tide. And while the lack of required output, innovation, and planning may have felt like a win in the moment, or a burden lifted off my shoulders at the time, it deprived me of that which resides in the soul of every human being alive, purpose, personal agency.

You can only go so far, so long, being the spectator of your own journey. You can only go so long looking out the window before you wonder just what it'd be like to be behind the wheel. When we put our actions up against the question why, it astounds me how many things are done because it's what we've always done. We act like we're expected to act, think like we're expected to think, see who we're expected to see, but expected by whom? Some of my greatest breakthroughs in life emerged after being asked why by people I look up to or respect. Why have you accepted that? That's your income? Okay, great, but why? That's how you spend your day? I see. How come? And when one is tasked with looking at their own life through a magnifying glass, some hidden truths always emerge. It shines a spotlight in the corner of the room, illuminating those shadows where one can, if they look hard enough, make out the wolf into sheep's clothing that is the phrase because that's how I've always done it.

We get in life what we accept. We are what we allow ourselves to be, and if we don't ask ourselves which mountain is worth climbing, which ocean is worth crossing, we simply float with the tide. Or at the mercy of the winds, we forfeit the mastery over our own lives that awaits if we're willing to take that wheel and navigate it. So here are a few things to take with you.

First is you are bound by nothing. The parameters you exist between you of your making. You can get in that car and drive. You can walk away and begin something new. You can entertain that vision that's been conveniently tucked away in the back of your mind. Understand that to not go is fine, but it's a decision. And perhaps a decision you'll wish you made differently. Second, difficult today liberates you tomorrow. It's easier to observe. It's easier to say how you wish things were. After all, stepping out into the fast-paced chaotic world is tough. It's scary. It's unpredictable. But it's where you find yourself and the path that's calling your name. It's beyond the pins and needles emerging as one jumps into the cold water that they're able to find that evolution. If there's time, then there's time to turn things around. If there is a tomorrow, then there is hope today.

11/12/2025

spiritual relationship with the world." - Xavier University.

10/12/2025

Boredom, often dismissed as a trivial or unpleasant state, actually holds profound significance for our mental and emotional well-being. When we allow ourselves to experience boredom, we enable our minds to shift into what is known as the default mode network a collection of brain structures that activate when we are not engaged in active tasks. Though the phrase might sound technical, its function is straightforward, it's the mental space of our brains use for introspection, reflection, and pondering life's big questions. Interestingly, this state of mind is often uncomfortable because it prompts us to confront thoughts and feelings we might prefer to avoid, including existential questions about our purpose and meaning.

Research at Harvard, led by psychologist Dan Gilbert, vividly illustrates the aversion many people feel toward boredom. In experiments where participants sat in a room with nothing to do but had the option to shock themselves painfully rather than sit quietly, the majority chose self-administered pain over silence. This reveals how strongly we dislike being alone with our thoughts our minds tend to seek distraction because the default mode network can make us uncomfortable by nudging us toward difficult introspections. Yet, it’s precisely during these moments of quiet reflection and contemplation that we can explore the most meaningful aspects of our lives, asking ourselves questions about purpose, coherence, and what truly matters.

The problem today is that our society has developed ways to almost completely shut down this internal reflective process. The ubiquitous presence of smartphones and digital devices serves as a constant distraction, pulling us away from the default mode network whenever boredom arises. Whether waiting in line, waiting for our flight, commuting, in the toilet, in our bedroom, or even during meals, and the rest, many of us instinctively reach for our phones to avoid the discomfort of just being with our own thoughts. This habitual avoidance prevents us from engaging with the deeper questions about our existence, leading to a kind of societal collective numbness. Over time, this avoidance contributes to rising rates of depression, anxiety, and feelings of emptiness, and to a mental health problem, because we are essentially disconnecting from the very processes that could help us find meaning, reason, and so on and so forth.

To counteract this, the most effective strategy is to intentionally cultivate moments of boredom periods when we are unoccupied and undistracted. Starting small such as spending 15-minute intervals without devices can be transformative. That’s how I doit. Without the distraction of screens, your mind naturally begins to wander, often leading to the most creative insights and personal revelations. For example, going for a walk or doing chores without listening to podcasts or music allows your brain to engage in introspection and problem solving. Over time, embracing boredom can reduce overall dissatisfaction with everyday life, making routine experiences more meaningful and enjoyable. More importantly, it opens the door for us to explore life's fundamental questions: Who am I? What is my purpose? What do I really want in my life? What gives my life coherence and significance?

Addressing the modern addiction to digital devices, many individuals, including myself, employ practical routines to regain control. For instance, I practice “no device” policy after a certain time in the evening, I charge my phones outside the bedroom, and avoiding screens during meals foster real connections and mental clarity. These habits help reduce the dopamine driven craving for instant gratification that smartphones induce akin to a relentless, screaming child in our heads. By creating these boundaries, we reclaim our mental space and experience a sense of calm and presence. Regular digital fasts, social media breaks, and mindful device use are crucial steps toward restoring balance.
Ultimately, life does not require constant updates or notifications to be fulfilling. The fear of missing out (FOMO) is largely unfounded, as most of what we chase on social media is trivial compared to the richness of our internal lives. We can choose to keep our phones accessible only in emergencies, and even then, only for essential contact. Our grandparents managed well without instant news updates every second; they found meaning in simpler, more tangible experiences. Cutting back on screen time isn’t about missing out but about gaining clarity, purpose, and a deeper connection with ourselves and others.

Cultivating moments of boredom is not a sign of weakness or laziness but a vital practice for mental health and personal growth. By intentionally stepping away from our devices and allowing ourselves to confront the unfiltered landscape of our thoughts, we open the door to greater happiness, meaning, purpose, knowing and understanding. We need more boredom not less because it is through these quiet, uncomfortable moments that we can truly find ourselves and give our lives the meaning they deserve.

So, I urge you: put down your phone. We need more meaningful experiences in our life, just as I do.

DBRH A place to meet God

23/02/2026

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