25/03/2016
I was your typical 4th year high school student, pumped up for senior year because it was the last time I’d see familiar places and familiar faces. I was that guy who hoped that the school year would already end so that I could sail the wider seas and explore the beautiful world.
But thing here is, before I could reach the shores and sail to a wider sea, I was bound to face the road protected by a huge gate and the key to open that gate was by passing the entrance exam of my desired university.
And it’s not just about graduating. I can graduate but if I don’t pass any university, I’d be stuck in front of that gate because I failed to get that key to opening it. As for myself, I got six chances of opening that gate but I only considered four of the six chances. Yes, you guessed it right. Those four keys were the top four universities in the Philippines.
As expected every year, UP has the first wave of exam for us seniors. Almost all students (at least in my high school) had always dreamed of becoming a UP student—even I can’t deny that. I studied for the exam and I had to admit that the Science part was the hardest.
Next in my list was Ateneo. Truth be told, the test was really hard. Those moments, my priority was only to pass those two universities. I hoped and prayed to God that I would be accepted in those prestigious universities.
About a month before the unexpected release of the results of the exam, I also took an exam in the University of Asia and the Pacific and the University of Santo Tomas. That time, I also considered UST as my top priority among the four because of its beautiful campus and culture.
December 17, 2015, I will never forget that date. It was also the date of our annual Christmas Party in school and my final one, being a graduating student. It was the day where the results went out unexpectedly and I was not on the list. I kept on refreshing the page if somehow they just forgot to include my name but nothing. I really did not pass the exam, I really was not on the list.
I got depressed. We were in Eastwood celebrating my friend’s birthday but I felt that I might cry in public because I didn’t make it in the university that I wanted.
A day after UP released their results, Ateneo results also came out. I woke up with the chilling news and I immediately grabbed my phone to know if my name is on the list as well. Sadly, I failed again. I got even more depressed. I didn’t know how to tell my parents of the ill news and I found myself in bed letting those results define me. I worried that I would not find myself in any of the four big universities.
Maybe to other people, my problem was just small, and that life that does not revolve around those universities. But to a 17-year-old guy like me, it was my dream, that was my everything. I had four chances of getting that dream, and I seem to have been slipping away from it, result after result.
After praying and just trying to understand the circumstances, God gave me light and told me that I still have hope, that everything is under His control and that I just have to keep trusting while waiting for the next batch of results. So I got back to my old self and started to live my life.
During the Christmas break, the results also went out that I waitlisted for UA&P and again I allowed it to define me. Good thing I also took an entrance exam in DLSU and in MAPUA to add up in my chances, since I already failed the first two.
About a week after taking the exam, I got a message telling me I passed the test in MAPUA. It was good news already since I already had a key to opening the gate to my next season of youth, but somehow, I really wanted to be in my favourite schools in the UAAP.
Result after result, I was really losing hope. Much more because I found myself failing DLSU as well. I knew MAPUA was a good college and they have good engineering courses. In fact, I had a lot of friends who were going to MAPUA as well. But I wanted my dream, I wanted to be in a big university, with a strong school culture. I’ve already dreamt of cheering for my school in the UAAP games.
I was just a normal guy who dreamed.
And as I was starting to accept, that maybe this was the path that I was destined to take, I still continued to hope, as I know God loves it when we cling on Him and we continue to pray hard to Him.
March 15, 2016 was the release of USTET results.
And I made it.
And it was one of the most beautiful feeling in the world--a dream granted, a dream finally made true. And maybe God just tests our faith, and our level of hope, and our level of believing in Him, and how much area of our life we are willing to surrender to Him. Will we let these life tests define who we are? Or will we let our faith and trust in Him define who we really are?
I got depressed in my initial failures, but I found myself pulling myself up and holding on tighter to God, praying and knowing that it is only He who could help me reach my dream. It is true that God knows the best ways to hand us our most requested dreams, wrapped in a beautiful package, handed to us, just to us.
As I write this, I am facing the gate exiting my high school gate, and entering the next chapter in my story. I have with me three keys: one for UST, one for MAPUA and another one for DLSU (they approved my reconsideration).
I only asked for three, but God granted a different set of three.
And for that, I am grateful.
This Holy Week, may we be reminded that God sacrificed His life for us so that we may live-- because He loves us so much, because He wants us to be saved. The little things and the little tests in life should not define us.
His love for us should.
(Testimonial of Luis Barras)
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Photo credits: Lifehacks.org
