FamilyLife Philippines

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Limits can even be applied to something as simple as in the books read or videos watched. https://familylifeph.com
28/05/2026

Limits can even be applied to something as simple as in the books read or videos watched.


https://familylifeph.com

The purpose of discipline is to teach a child a lesson not to be forgotten in life. https://familylifeph.com
26/05/2026

The purpose of discipline is to teach a child a lesson not to be forgotten in life.


https://familylifeph.com

21/05/2026

The Paradox of Change: Why Real Growth Starts With Despair

We are wired to believe that spiritual growth is a matter of self-improvement. We naturally assume that God simply wants to give our otherwise well-ordered lives a little boost from heaven. But the Bible presents a strange, consistent message about change: the way forward almost always feels like we are going backward.

Fallen human beings can enter into true joy and fullness only through the door of emptiness and despair. If you want real change, here is why self-despair must be your first step.

1. We Need a Rescue, Not an Upgrade. Christian salvation is not a self-help program or a life-enhancement tool; it is a full-scale resurrection. If you view your sin as a bothersome headache rather than a lethal cancer, your spiritual growth will be tepid at best. The severity of your spiritual condition dictates the depth of the medicine you need. True change begins only when you stop trying to contribute to your own rescue and acknowledge your total helplessness.

2. Honesty is the Great Prerequisite. You cannot grow deeply without passing through the painful death of being entirely honest about your own spiritual bankruptcy. Acknowledging the utter futility of your own self-improvement efforts is the "great prerequisite" to everything else. We must let the despair about who we are, left to our own steam, wash over us—essentially choosing to "die before you die".

3. Despair Leads to the Beautiful Collapse. Self-despair is not a pit you are meant to wallow in forever; it is a gateway. Once you realize the futility of your own strength, the only logical next step is to simply collapse.

This collapse triggers the vital two-step movement of the Christian life: repentance and faith. You turn away from yourself and your wrong direction (repentance), and you simultaneously turn to the living Jesus (faith). You stop trying to manufacture your own change and instead spring upward into the arms of a Savior who does the heavy lifting.

The Bottom Line The pattern of a growing life is not a straight upward climb of behavioral improvement; it is a curve down into death, and thereby up into resurrection existence. If you feel stuck, exhausted, or defeated, stop trying to crowbar your way into change. Embrace the joyous freefall of self-despair. It is right there, in your utter emptiness and dismay, that God dwells and begins to work real, lasting change.

A Reflection about Despair inspired by Dane Ortlund from her book Deeper: Real Change for Real Sinners

Rey C. Tonsay

A celebration of Calling of our FamilyLife Staff at various seasons of their lives. Not by their might but by His Spirit...
20/05/2026

A celebration of Calling of our FamilyLife Staff at various seasons of their lives. Not by their might but by His Spirit because they are "Entirely His".


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A strong relationship with family can impact how children relate with other people.🙂🤝🥰 https://familylifeph.com
19/05/2026

A strong relationship with family can impact how children relate with other people.

🙂🤝🥰


https://familylifeph.com

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