My Quote of the Day

My Quote of the Day This page give you daily motivation and affirmations to guide you in a positive way throughout your day. Our guide is for those looking for self love tips

Recognizing the blessing, discovering the path, continue to action, and developing positive habits.

18/02/2020

For any relationship to last, it is essential that you are compatible. This does not mean that you have to share all of each others hobbies and interests and live in each others pockets. In fact, it could be considered unhealthy if you do. The happiest people in the most successful relationships give each other space and time to follow other interests away from the relationship. You are afterall two separate people with two separate personalities and interests. The important thing is that you are able to come back together and enjoy each others company and pursue other interests that you may share together.

Being compatible with someone is being able to work well together. It is about having similar outlooks on life, sharing a similar sense of humour, wanting similar things.

Consider the following questions within your relationship. Indicate where you feel your relationship rates on a scale of 1 to 10 for each question (1 being the least and 10 being the most). Try to think about each question in terms of your feelings over the last month or so rather than just how you are feeling today:

S*x - How s*xually fulfilled do you feel? Are you happy with the frequency of s*x in your relationship?

Fun - Sense of humour. Shared interests. How much do you laugh together?

Shared values - Do you have a similar philosophy of life and moral code?

Common goals - Are you heading in the same direction? Do you want the same things or is there room for compromise?

Social life - Friends and family. How happy are you with the level and quality of interaction you have with them?

Conflict resolution - How well do you both manage disagreements? Do you respect each other's boundaries? Are you able to ask for what you need?

Communication - Do you know what's going on in each other’s life and are you both interested?

Chores - How happy are you both with the way chores are shared?

Emotional support - How supportive is your partner especially in times of stress and illness?

Career support - How supportive is your partner of your career or other aspirations?

18/02/2020

Putting the past to rest

Hurtful things that have been said and done in the past, infidelity, disappointment and bitterness felt by actions taken by your partner. These are all difficult things that can be experienced in a relationship and they can be even more difficult to get over.

Unfortunately, you cannot have a brain autopsy and forget but you can leave these things in the past and move forward with your future. You can never forget but you can forgive. With good communication with your partner and support if needed by a professional, you can learn to put the past to rest and move on. It may be that there is an issue that even by talking through with each other, you come to no resolution over. Sometimes you have to ‘agree to disagree’ and move forward. Even loving couples cannot agree on everything and being able to overlook certain things is essential for the survival of any relationship.

18/02/2020

Unrealistic expectations of your relationship?

So you’ve been together for quite some time. When you first got together, things were so exciting and your partner paid you lots of attention and showered you with gifts and love and affection. Things are not the same anymore. In fact, you can’t help but look around at others...couples walking down the street hand in hand, friends you know gushing about their other half, and telling you what a great relationship they have and have s*x 3 times daily, happily ever after stories on film and tv....

Stop!!

Everyone feels like this from time to time in a relationship. It really is quite normal. Things are not going to be the same as when you first got together. In fact, things could be much better. That first flutter of giddy love and excitement does not and cannot last. What you have could be so much more than that. Excitement does not have to go out of the window, but your relationship grows into something else. Something more. A deeper and greater understanding, respect and love for one another.

Everyone’s relationships are completely different. It is after all two different people with two different personalities. We all compliment each other in different ways and what works for one relationship may not work for another. Because we are all different. Take with a pinch of salt what others around you appear to be doing in their relationship. Noone really ever knows what goes on inside someone elses relationship behind closed doors. Therefore it would be ridiculous to think that someone elses relationship is without problems and issues themselves and are better than your own.

If you hear from a friend that they are having in*******se with their partner 3 times a week and you are having s*xual in*******se once every month, or every few months, or even once a year, this does not matter. There is no ‘normal’ frequency for how often couples have s*x. Love does not necessarily go hand in hand with the act of s*xual in*******se. The important thing is that you are both happy with the frequency of s*x in your relationship. If you are both happy with doing it once a year then that’s great! Equally if one of you wants to do it every night and the other once a year, then there is a problem. You are not s*xually compatible and will need to consider how you move forward with this in your relationship.

18/02/2020

What’s your problem?

There are a million and one reasons why relationships go through difficulties. There may be external factors that have put pressures and stresses on your relationship – such as problems at work, a new baby, money, difficulties with other family members, etc. Infidelity could be another reason. There may not have been one incident in itself, but a gradual build up of resentment and bitterness over the years caused by smaller disagreements that have taken their toll on the relationship. The little things that you always saw as ‘cute’ and ‘adorable’ when you first got together now might grate on you intensely.

It is interesting to note that traditionally infidelity has been the number one reason cited in divorce cases. However according to a 2011 study by accountancy firm Grant Thornton in the UK, ‘growing apart’ and ‘falling out of love’ are now the most common reasons cited for divorce.

It is important to take some time to really identify what the issues or problems are in your relationship. It is not a blame game, it is about being totally honest and both parties accepting responsibility on both sides. This can be a really difficult thing to do. Emotions may be charged and some things can be very difficult or painful to consider and indeed talk about. It is very much achievable to talk through these issues as a couple, but you may find that you need some professional help in coming to terms with these issues and need additional support with moving things forward. Sometimes talking to someone impartial whom neither of you know can really help get some clarity in your relationship.

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