14/10/2025
Most of us grew up inside church walls. We grew up with the people there — shared the same faith, exchanged laughter during fellowships, shared our dilemmas, and offered help. It was where we learned about love, about grace, about God. It was a place so familiar, safe, and sacred. Until the same place that taught us about healing, became the reason we needed it.
Perhaps your pain is still fresh.
Or maybe it’s something you’ve buried under layers of silence, hoping time would lessen the ache.
But it still lingers.
And you start to ask “𝙃𝙤𝙬 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙖 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙘𝙚 𝙢𝙚𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙗𝙚𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙘𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙢𝙮 𝙙𝙚𝙚𝙥𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙝𝙪𝙧𝙩?”
If you’ve been hurt by the church, I am sorry. And even though I cannot undo what happened, allow me to speak what perhaps no one ever did..
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry for the gossip that passed off as “concern,” and tore you apart when you only needed grace.
I’m sorry for the judgment and condemnations that looked nothing like Jesus.
I’m sorry for the betrayals of the people behind every loud “Amen”,
I’m sorry for the way your pain was not heard, for the times your story was treated like it didn’t matter.
I’m sorry you were told to “pray harder,” when what your heart truly needed was someone to sit beside you in the silence.
I’m sorry if you were made to feel like your questions made you less faithful, or that your past made you less loved.
I’m sorry for the love that came with conditions, of belonging that demanded perfection.
To the one who was shamed for speaking truth,
to the one who was silenced for crying out,
to the one who was told “it’s just a misunderstanding,”
Know that it wasn’t Jesus. It was the people who misrepresent Jesus. But please, don’t let the failures of people convince you that God failed you too.
The same Jesus who overturned tables for the sake of truth is the same One who weeps with you now.
He sees the ways you’ve been wronged. He knows every tear you’ve cried in the pews and every time you walked away wondering if you still belonged.
And just like you, these people also needed grace. Not to excuse what they’ve done, but because grace is what keeps us from becoming like the pain that hurt us.
Even in all its flaws, the church remains a place where God shows His grace. There are still people who care about you more than you could ever imagine, church members who are praying for you silently even when you don’t know it, and a loving God who only wants the best for you. Maybe it’s not about finding a perfect church, but finding Christ again among imperfect people.
May we always remember that the love of God is bigger than the pain His people caused. We don’t go to church because of other people. We go to church because our God is faithful and deserved to be praised! God never asked you to worship the church, He only asked you to follow Him faithfully. Obedience matters more than approval.
As long as you are right with God, it’s enough to keep going.
Lamentations 3:22–23 (KJV)
“It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.”
