06/03/2022
THE STAGES OF CONVERSION
by Anscar J Chupungco, OSB
LORD JESUS, when I kneel to confess my sins, I realize that contrition is my most important act. Give me the grace of heartfelt sorrow and aversion for the sins I have committed, along with the resolve to sin no more. Sometimes I admit that my conscience is paralyzed by a feeling of remorse, by sorrow caused exclusively by fear of divine punishment. But it should not be so between us, because you love me in spite of myself. My contrition should be sorrow at having offended you who are infinitely good to me. It should be heartfelt regret that I broke friendship with you in exchange for my selfishness. I repeat the words of the prodigal son with absolute trust in divine mercy, “I will rise and go to my father, and I will say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you; I am no longer worthy to be called your son.”
But I realize, Lord, that something more is required to be fully reconciled with you and the community of the Church. Several centuries ago, the Council of Trent made the pronouncement that the integral confession of each and every grave sin, which the penitent is able to remember after an honest examination of conscience, is “part of the plan of our merciful God.” Lord, I believe that it holds true even today. Personally, I value individual confession to a priest because it does cultivate my spiritual growth. It offers an opportunity to dialogue with my confessor, receive his guidance, and make an honest assessment of my life. Indeed, individual confession is a liberating spiritual experience for me. I also see the value of occasional confessional of venial sins as a healthy occasion to examine whether I am truly progressing in the love of God and neighbor. Lord, you know my sins because you watch, pained when I commit them. Still, I confess to a priest in order to unburden my conscience. I cannot thank you enough for the priceless gift of the sacrament of penance that refreshes my wearied soul.
Absolution is the act of your Church, represented by the priest, whereby penitents who have committed serious sins are reconciled with you and the community of the Church. Lord, I can visualize the heavenly court that watches with pure joy as the prodigal son or daughter returns home, as you place the lost sheep on your shoulders, as the woman rejoices because she has found her lost coin. I can hear you exclaim, like the merciful father in the parable: “Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet; and bring the fatted calf and kill it, and let us eat and make merry; for my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost and is found.” There is a reason to celebrate because through the sacrament of penance the earthly family of God is complete once more. Every sin, even those committed in secret, affects the spiritual wellbeing and the wholeness of the community of the Church. Pope Paul VI wrote that we are so united to one another by a supernatural bond, that the sin of one damages all the rest, while the holiness of another brings benefit to all.
Lord, I keep in mind that the aim of the sacrament of penance is conversion. The penitential act imposed on me by my confessor is a remedy to cure spiritual wounds inflicted by my sins; it is an aid to strengthen in me the virtue of penance. My experience tells me that the more meaningful penitential acts are those that I impose upon myself. By expiating the sins I have committed, by amending my life, and by rectifying the injuries I have caused others, I complete the process of my continuing conversion. When I consider the Person I have offended, the love I have scorned, and the infinite mercy I have received, can any penitential act by unbearably heavy? Lord, may I approach the sacrament with a contrite and trusting heart. Amen.
