23/03/2023
Is it possible to be a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and still not receive the confirmation of the truthfulness of its gospel?
As a person who was born into the covenant, it is already expected in some ways that we will have already gained our very own testimony since our parents are already members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. But as i'm growing up, I find myself still wondering and sometimes doubting if it is real. I found myself praying, reading the scriptures, attending sacrament meetings, participating in activities, living the teachings, and even working with the missionaries but still I feel like I am just doing it because it is how I was raised.
It continues until such time I have a conversation with one of my friends Sister Eding, who's preparing for her mission. We are heading back home at night when I ask her what she felt when she decided to go on a mission. She answers firmly that she knows the gospel is true and I saw the excitement in her to share it. That is when I realize, I don't yet have my very own testimony.
After that realization, I often asked myself whenever I saw dedicated members helping and serving in the church, "What does this so-called testimony do to make these people sacrifice so much without asking anything in return?"
That question really caught me and I found myself having that desire to know what is a testimony and what it felt like to have one. I continued in my search for it by reading the scriptures daily, and not just simply reading it like before. I pondered it and really took time to understand the message. But still, despite all of those efforts, I still felt that something was missing.
By putting in those efforts, I was able to increase my knowledge of the gospel but I still desired for something more. It wasn't enough for me to just simply know those things, I needee to feel that it is true but I wasn't sure how. I continued silently hoping that I would feel of the truthfulness.
After a study with Brother Kenneth, he suddenly asked me, a question that I did not expect. He asked, "Have you already asked if the Book of Mormon is true? If Joseph Smith is a true prophet? If the restored gospel is true?" Then I found myself answering, "No, I haven't asked." Then he extended an invitation for me to read Moroni 10:3–5 and ask in prayer if these things are true.
So, I accepted the invitation. While I was reading those verses, I found tears flowing down my face and when I started to pray and ask if those thingd were true, I had such powerful feelings that can't be explained. I testify it was the Holy Ghost confirming to me that it was true. It touched my heart and at that very moment all the doubts I had suddenly vanished. I cried and thanked Heavenly Father that the Spirit confirmed to me that the Gospel is true, that the Book of Mormon is true, Joseph Smith is a prophet of God and the church I've been in, is really the true church. It was a feeling I've never felt before, it filled the missing piece that my soul was searching for.
I can see now that I never made an effort to come unto Him directly and ask. But when I did I came to know for myself that He was there waiting for me, ready to answer and welcome me in.
Now, I finally understand why the members were willing to put so much effort to give service and sacrifice, it is because of the testimony that they have.
I have come to know for myself that a true testimony is so powerful that it can give you hope even when you're in a uncertain situation. I am so grateful for the redeeming love of our Saviour. Through his love, I can feel safe and comforted through all my trials. It is this feeling I know I wouldn't let myself go. So I nurtured my testimony daily by doing the right things in order to have his presence in my life.
Don't get me wrong, having a testimony will make you a perfect person. With a firm testimony you'll be able to patiently endure through lifes trials. You will be reminded that is through Him that you can endure. You become much stronger and can overcome the fiery darts of the adversary. You will find yourself moving forward with faith.
My testimony of these divine truths has led me to fall down to my knees and ask if, "I am needed by Him." The answer to that prayer is and will always be a firm, "yes".
As President Russell M. Nelson taught us that we "were commissioned by [our] Heavenly Father to build up the kingdom of God on earth right now and to prepare a people to receive the Savior."
And if you might wonder, "but what if it’s hard?"
Well, I've often asked myself this, and I always turn to one of my favourite verses in the Doctrine and covenant where it says, "Lift up your heart and rejoice for the hour of your mission is come".
